Teresa Giudice Speaks Out On Prison: There Was So Much Gay Sex & Maggot Filled Food

Teresa Giudice  is exposing lots of salacious details about  prison life, in her new book entitled “Turning the Tables: From Housewife to Inmate and Back Again.” 

The slammer memoir, co-written by KC Baker, will be released February 9th, four days after The Real Housewives of New Jersey star’s  house arrest period ends.  The New York Daily News is reporting that the book tells tales of lesbian sex, humiliating strip searches, maggot filled food, and much more about the scamming mother of four’s year at the Federal Correctional Institute in Danbury, Connecticut.

Teresa, nicknamed “Hollywood,” by her fellow-inmates, talks about a mortifying, yet routine strip search that she endured, upon her arrival.  ‘I wanted to die,’ Giudice said.  Teresa writes that it only took two days to encounter lesbian sex, and describes how she heard surprising sounds coming from two of her five cell roommates.  In a melodramatic twist, she writes that she had just concluded her bedtime prayers.       

“I could see two women… writhing around… I cannot believe this is happening;” she writes.

Teresa claims that her room became known as the “Boom Boom Room,” because it was evidently a hotbed for girl on girl action.  Really Teresa?  Teresa assures us that she wasn’t booming it, and was committed to staying  a jailhouse virgin, for her husband, Joe.  She even dreamed about her pudgy dreamboat as the action played out, writing, “Madonna mia, I was dreaming of my husband.” Teresa shares that she whispered some steamy slammer sex tips in Joe’s ear during a family visit, and included three pages of sexual positions in a mailed Father’s Day card. Teresa explains that some women are just prison lesbians, aka “gay for stay,” and some sell their bodies for commissary cash.  Joe is set to surrender for his own “boom boom” stint, in March.

She speaks of slumming it in $5 commissary sunglasses, and of the adjustment from her usual $350 Tom Fords.  She was accused of hiding a cellphone, which resulted in another strip search, and a tossed room.  Tabloid reading was a prison must, because supposedly, inmates were selling stories about their most famous roomie. 

Her tawdry tales were penned in her prison diary, which she claims she had to hide from her prison sisters, so as not to be criticized for profiting off of their icky realities.  She claims that she raked in the fan mail, and cites that she was particularly popular among the male inmate demographic. 

But spending a year up the river wasn’t all bad, according to Giudice.  She claims to have worked out 6 hours a day, and did lots of reading.  She mentions a prison “spa,” where prisoners would do her hair, her nails, or give massages.  Fingers crossed that their hands were washed!  The delusional felon also created a “vision board” where she documented her desire to earn $40 mil, own a Florida beach house, make a yoga DVD, and take care of her girls.  She also threw in helping needy children…hopefully there will be a few hanging around her deluxe tropical getaway.  Not surprisingly, she forgot to put “pay my bills,” on the board. 

Teresa and Joe were convicted on numerous fraud charges, and were  granted staggered sentences.  Teresa is about to become shackle-free, and Joe is about to hit the bricks, and head to prison.  Teresa is preparing to sign her graphic memoir for her fans, as soon as she can expose her freed ankle.  

Do you think that her audience will love believe this Orange Is the New Black knockoff?      

 

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