Welcome to Jamaica, mon! This week’s episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta packs a punch with 15 extra minutes of footage foolishness. We are going to
Papa Smurf’s Peter’s motherland on the pretense of shooting an eyewear commercial, but what’s really going is a surprise. NeNe Leakes will be there, and, oh yeah, Gregg is coming along, too. But more importantly, Cynthia has decided to not use Kenya’s services for her commercial. If you ask me, NeNe is along for backup.
Flash forward to the island, Cynthia arrives in a bus to pick up the rest of the crew and is shocked to see that Kim has brought her kids on an adult trip. Apparently Kim didn’t get the memo in D.C. that Bravo trips aren’t exactly kid friendly. But since Kim and her husband, Chris, don’t travel outside the country without their children, they had to bring them along. At least they brought a nanny this time.
And get this, even more surprising is Sheree has brought ex-husband, Bob Whitfield, on the trip. How did that happen, you ask? Bob was at a party and saw Sheree and said, “Who dat?” This is off topic, but have you seen the Will Smith movie about concussions? Just saying. Kenya has brought her chocolate Moore Manor emergency man to the island, Phaedra is solo, and Porsha is solo for now. Let’s get this party started!
On the bus, Phaedra asks Cynthia about the status of the commercial. Cynthia hesitantly announces that because Kenya missed a pitch meeting, she’s going with Kim and Kim only. Kenya can’t believe her ears. She has great ideas for the commercial. Things need to be set up beforehand, like Kim has been doing. And Porsha is sad her donkey ass and braids won’t be in the ‘mercial. The gang is shown to their awesome suites and the drama is about to begin, so grab the popcorn.
Back in the ATL, Kandi is making a list of things they need to do before the baby’s arrival. Yawn. Have you gotten the popcorn, yet? Go ahead, you won’t miss a thing. Kandi and Todd know they’re missing out, but her doctor doesn’t want her traveling out of the country at this stage of her pregnancy.
Returning to the fun, Cynthia and Kim are sitting outside with a view of the water, talking about the preparations and their shared vision. However, they are about to get schooled in 3D Kenya-vision because here she comes. Cynthia says she still wants Kenya to be part of the commercial, but as an extra playing the role as “friend.” Kenya is insulted as a friend and a business person over the fact that just because she missed a pitch meeting, Cynthia has kicked her to the curb. It’s Cynthia’s fault for not rescheduling another meeting. Kenya says this is all about respect.
Kim is trying to interject her thoughts, but Kenya won’t even acknowledge her presence. What on earth made Cynthia think these two could work together? It’s like Donald Trump working with Rosie O’Donnell – it can’t be done. Kenya continues on that Kim has never worked on a commercial and throws Mrs. Garrett into the mix. Kim tells her that her elevator don’t go down this low, so Kenya yanks Kim’s chair back to help her elevator doors open. As Kim leaves, Kenya applauds her for best exit of an actress in a realty series. Cynthia tries to get Kenya to settle down, but only a little. When Kenya professes she tried to work with Kim, but clearly the woman is impossible, Cynthia finally admits the two working together would have been a disaster.
Briefly we are shown Porsha and Phaedra staring at themselves in the mirror, smack-talking about Kim bringing her kids on an adult vacation. Phaedra says its time for Kim to set her nipples free. Halleluiah. We cut back to an excited Kim recapping the altercation for her husband, in their hotel room. Kim tells her hubby, Kenya is at the kiddie table and Tootie is at the grown-ass-woman table. Get those facts of life. Chris tells Kim to calm down, explaining this isn’t a prison basketball court.
Over at Gregg and NeNe’s hideout, Peter’s shirt arrives five minutes before Peter does. Lord have mercy, he is one bright Jamaican mon and Cynthia strolls in wearing a crocheted wedding dress. It’s all very confusing. NeNe can’t wait to bitch-slap surprise the other girls. She misses picking on laughing with them. Cynthia brings NeNe up to date on the Kenya-situation and the near showdown with Kim. NeNe will now be replacing Kenya in the commercial for the role of “friend.”
Everyone is at the dinner table and wondering where the heck Peter and Cynthia are. SURPRISE! NeNe is here. Everyone is all, say what? Porsha just talked to NeNe yesterday and none of this was mentioned. NeNe is overly excited to meet Kim and nearly falls down at the sight of Bob Whitfield. Once settled, NeNe informs Kim that she will be in the ‘mercial and then turns to Kenya to ask why she’s not in the ‘mercial no mo. Kenya doesn’t want to talk about it, but Peter asks for clarification on what exactly went wrong. Kenya says she would rather gouge her eyes out with a spoon and set her ass on fire with a lantern, than talk about this. Everyone hands over spoons and lanterns to Kenya.
Kim tries to share her perspective, but Kenya is tired of her monotone voice and twirls away with her boytoy. The world may never know. Someone explains to NeNe that Kenya’s feelings are hurt because she and Cynthia are bff’s and yet she chose to work with Kim. NeNe says, “Oh, no they ain’t.” Everyone else says, “Oh yes they is.” Except Cynthia who categorizes her and Kenya’s friendship as “still getting to know each other” after four years.
The following morning Sheree is a busy beaver. First she stops by NeNe to reminisce about the bad ole days, then goes to Kenya’s room to spill the tea that she’s been demoted to BFFN – best friend for now – and now that NeNe’s here, there’s a new BFF in town.
Back in the ATL, it’s time for another break. Grab a soda. Check your messages. Todd and Kandi and their daughters discuss who will help with the baby. Kandi points out that when you buy a person a house, they ought to help with the baby. They’re talking ‘bout, Mama Joyce.
On the beach, Phaedra and Porsha are in their strappy bathing suites, dishing about Cynthia and her flip-flopping nonsense. Peter has surprised Cynthia with her sister Mallory, and frankly, I’m shocked he did such a thing. And Mallory is shocked that NeNe is there. And Kenya is shocked that Cynthia can even think about replacing her as BFF.
She stops by and interrupts the sisterly bonding time to remind Cynthia how evil NeNe is. Kenya reads her the right to remember, plus Bravo throws in a montage of NeNe mean-isms, but Cynthia is over this conversation and over Kenya.
Tune in next week when they finally shoot this ‘mercial and shade is thrown at Chris for being on the d-l.
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