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Yolanda Foster Opens Up About Her Implant Removal Surgery “Change Can Be Heartbreaking”

I'm a fiction writer by day and a reality TV addict by night.    

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Are you sitting down, kittens? You’d best take a seat because you’ll be shocked to know that Yolanda Foster’s blog, chronicling her adventures on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, focuses on something other than her illness this week.

Oh, I kid. Of course she’s talking about herself—it’s her only storyline. So off to the Lyme races we go. Seriously, it’s not that I don’t have compassion for Yolanda, but as much as she complains about the other women, she rarely mentions them in her blog unless it relates to her in some way. Yes, I get that she’s been ill, but she can’t take time to comment on Kyle Richards’ family drama or note the fact that Lisa Vanderpump has a swan on her lap? Come on, now.

“I took some time away to be in the mountains and really enjoyed the quality time with my children and good friends. As I learn to apply the spoon theory to my life, I managed to take a couple of walks and even made it on the gondola to the mountain top…”

Did I miss something? What the hell is the “spoon theory”? So anyway, Yolanda talks about herself some more.

“…while I believe the surgery played a huge part in my improvement…it’s bittersweet to feel progress and then fast forward to where we are today… One never thinks that life can change so drastically in just six months, even in one day. I don’t intend to host a pity party by sharing my pain and struggles — by sharing, I think I help open minds to what invisible chronic disease looks like.”

This week, her breast implants were successfully removed.

“I ruptured an implant 10 years ago in a water-skiing fall, the leakage from that incident had travelled, over the years, through my body and taken a life of its own. Dr. Feng’s partner at the Cleveland clinic did a precise needle ultrasound mapping locating the exact areas where free floating silicone was detected, one hour before my 7.5 hour surgery.”

She also complains about how she used to look fabulous, like a real model should. Now that she’s been sick, people judge her about looking crappy, like she’s a normal person or something.

“I have a new understanding of the challenge it is to be judged by how you look, or how you aren’t looking. I didn’t have to face that before I got sick. I was a model, I looked like what everyone wants to see… Thank God I stopped listening to doctors that told me I was fine and looked beautiful…”

On a happy note, she seems to be feeling better.

“My overall health seems to be improving, I am on a strict holistic Lyme protocol with Dr. Klinghartd and working closely with my toxicologist to detox the left over silicone that was not accessible in surgery. I am not fully there yet, but determined and on my way to getting my life back.”

Yolanda does take time to mention Erika Jayne, but even that name drop is in relation to—you guessed it—Yolanda.

“One thing that stood out for me tonight was the loyal friendship of my girlfriend Erica. I admire her strength and natural ability to be herself — it’s that commitment to leading an authentic life that allows her to stand by her friends and not feed into nonsense.”

So am I being too hard on the Lemon-Lyme goddess? Should I cut her some slack or are you annoyed with her poor-me-navel-gazing attitude, too?

 

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