RECAP: Real Housewives of Atlanta “There’s No Business Like Friend Business” [Season 8, Episode 8]

Happy Chriskwanukah! I hope everyone had a wonderful, if not tolerable, holiday with family and friends. Let’s jump right in with the ladies of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Kenya is signing up with a dating service, Cynthia is “praising” Peter for sending little yellow roses, and Kandi is releasing new music with Demetria McKinney.

Kandi and DonJuan meet with Roger Bobb and Demetria about the duet. The studio wants to kick it off with this song. Kandi doesn’t have the best track record working with friends, but with Roger Bobb on board, this actually has a chance. ‘Unnecessary Trouble’ is the name of the song. Roger tells them they’ve got one chance to get it right, so no pressure there. DonJuan is all worried about Kandi’s pregnancy, like he’s the one who’s carrying the baby, and Kandi is taking it all in stride.

Over at Phaedra’s house, a staged motherly act of making pizza is shown when Bun stops by. He’s Apollo’s little friend who he met during his first stint at Club Fed. Bun stops by with leather jackets and sneakers for the kids, the important stuff in life, and gives a “strong male influence” for two minutes. End scene. Cut to heart-to-heart with Phaedra explaining to Bun that Ayden knows exactly where his daddy is. Da clink.

It’s music video time, and chile, you could barely tell Kandi is pregnant. Her rainbow sparkly thigh-high boots were so distracting, I didn’t look at her stomach much at all. Porsha and Phaedra stop by and Todd rolls in riding this year’s biggest Christmas gift flub. Hope the video set didn’t catch fire. Kenya and Demetria rock it.

Kenya and Marlo are going to the gym to check out the men and pretend to workout. In a confessional, Kenya says her ideal man looks like Matthew McConaughey. I’m guessing it wasn’t Dallas Buyer’s Club that won her over. A different Matt comes over, who is a young trainer/friend, to flirt with the ladies. He asks Kenya out, and with Marlo’s pushing, she says yes. Kenya is concerned about the age difference, but he does fill the “Adonis” spot on Kenya’s list of demands traits she wants in a man.

Cynthia and Peter go on a romantic date. They stroll through the park to a picnic spot where Peter has arranged for a caterer and an artist. That’s deep, y’all. To have someone capture the moment in a drawing while you and your loved one eat is progressive, y’all. Let’s just say if the artist had used a blue pencil on Papa Smurf, it would have been a masterpiece caricature. All in all, Cynthia had a nice day chilling with her man.

It’s first-date time for Kenya and Matt and they are playing basketball; the real kind. Kenya is used to fancy restaurants and being wined and dined, and this is a cheap man’s date, so bye, butch. He may be cute, but unfortunately he don’t check the “entrepreneur” box.

There’s a short, touching scene with Phaedra crying real tears. Gurl, I didn’t think they existed, but since Ayden is going off to his new, very prestigious school where only the most brilliant five year-olds attend, she cranked out a few. He’ll always be her baby.

Porsha and her Latin-lover Oliver are keeping up their long distance relationship for appearances via Skype. We learn he is a butt man and was hooked from the word, twerk. When Porsha asks Oliver if he’s ready for a real relationship, suddenly there’s a bad connection and we can’t hear his answer. #hesaidno

Everyone is getting ready for the party. Kandi doesn’t know what to wear and asks Todd, who’s getting his hair did at home, but he’s no help. All he cares about is getting a check tonight from Phaedra. I’m sure she’ll check Todd soon, but spoiler alert, that’s next week.

Party time! Kim strolls in and is feeling good in her leather thigh-high boots and black blouse with silver sparkle. Kim didn’t realize she was dressed like a confused prostitute at Disneyworld, according to Kenya, so how embarrassing for her. Kandi arrives and gives out hugs. She’s nervous because Demeteria’s last music video release was a mess. The video wouldn’t play. Then the music wouldn’t play. But not to worry, DonJuan is on the scene.

Demetria arrives, looks beautiful, and she and Kandi introduce the video…but first, Kandi gives a short speech about the trials and tribulations of doing business with friends. Phaedra reads this loud and clear. The video is a hit, everyone says they love it, at least to Kandi’s face, and Todd tells her it may be another Grammy. Da bomb!

Flash forward to Phaedra congratulating Kandi. She turns to Todd and asks if he’ll stop by her office when he has a minute. At first I thought they were going to go the ladies’ restroom, but I was wrong. Like I said, that’s next week. Anyway, Phaedra, Porsha and Shamea go out on the patio to talk. Phaedra briefly explains to the girls about the non-existent workout pregnancy video and money that may or may not be owed. Porsha is being a supportive friend, but DonJuan is circling like a shark waiting for dinner and Porsha is his chum – not Phaedra. WTF?

DonJuan says after hearing the gossip about his people, he wasn’t going to just keep walking in circles. He tells Porsha that it was a lot more that money that done broke this friendship so quit running your mouth. Eventually, Phaedra backs out of the lion’s den and says she needs to go be with those babies she birthed. She grabs Porsha and Shamea, too. DonJuan yells after Porsha to go get the man she lost. Ouch! Then he says it again. Dayum. Say what you want about DonJuan, he’s the most loyal man in Kandi’s life.

 

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