RECAP: Real Housewives of Atlanta “The Boat Drama Aftermath” [Season 8, Episode 5]

We resume this week’s episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta on the boat trip from hell. Porsha is in Cynthia’s face, straddling her, when Cynthia kicks Porsha in her hoo-ha. Kim says she has a low tolerance for foolishness, and I wonder, girl, why you on this show?

From out of nowhere, #RHOA producer, Carlos King, flattens Porsha on a nearby lounge chair and doesn’t get up off her.

Kenya tracks down the Captain, who is no doubt hiding, and announces she now wants two of the girls escorted from the boat. Kandi wants to intervene, but thankfully is blocked because don’t nobody want a pregnant woman to get hurt. 

Cynthia walks off and tells the camera man not to effing follow her, but he does and we see Kenya trying to comfort Cynthia. Cynthia wants to be comforted by Peter. He may have wandering eyes and hands, but at least he ain’t a crazy bitch. Cynthia phones Peter and asks him to come home. He agrees.

Kim is in tears over what started as a simple misunderstanding and quickly turned south. A boat whisks away Porsha and Shamea, though I’m sure the rest of the ladies wanted to leave by then, too, because as Sheree put it, the incident was a total buzz-kill.

Tammy, the woman who’s married to the white Nazi, missed the entire fight, but wants to find her black Jesus.

Later that evening, Porsha’s mom drops by with some comfort food. Porsha shows her the bruises from all over her body. Obviously, they can’t all be from Cynthia. Some were probably from the guy who tackled her. Porsha feels this is all Cynthia’s fault, and if the bitch just would have accepted her apology, none of this would have happened. Porsha’s mom asks what the next step will be and Porsha says she is d-o-n-e with Cynthia. The ball is now in her court.

Kim is getting her juice on with Phaedra and the two discuss the boat trip. Phaedra is probably so glad she had to stay home and take care of her two sick boys. Down the road, Kenya is discussing the event with her Aunt Lori and cousin Che. And across town at Kandi’s studio, she is dishing to Carmen and Don Juan.

Whether Porsha started it all by saying, “You don’t want me to get up” or “You don’t want me to stand up” or “You don’t want me to get out of my seat” they all agree that Porsha escalated the situation with her ghetto-girl attitude. Kim and Pheadra think it was kids with breasts fighting. Don Juan thinks Kandi has no business being upteen months pregnant and hanging with these women. Che thinks you can’t take the ghetto out of the girl. And Aunt Lori thinks Kenya should do something positive and get the girls to work it out.

Peter arrives home via chauffer because that’s how he rolls. Cynthia hugs him right away as she explains that her mind is stuck on a loop wondering what she could have done differently, like not kick Porsha, and hopefully she didn’t hurt her. Peter is like, of course you hurt Porsha when you kicked her. Cynthia is now regretting asking Peter to come home and the two get into an argument over his lack of support. Peter doesn’t want to talk about it since he can’t say or do anything right. He suggests apologizing to Porsha and Cynthia says she wants to get back on track with Peter.

Finally, we move on from the boat trip from hell and join Kandi and Todd as they visit Dr. Jackie for an appointment. Unfortunately, trouble arises when Dr. Jackie can’t find the baby’s heartbeat. Todd thinks this is the perfect time to take a call from a friend and steps out of the room. Fortunately, Dr. Jackie finds the little guy’s heartbeat and when Todd rejoins his wife, the baby is on the monitor and Todd mistakes the leg for a penis.

There is a quick scene showing Phaedra being a single parent and how hard it is to do it all by herself since Apollo is in prison. She tells us that Aiden misses Apollo but Dylan doesn’t remember who the guy is. Over at Kenya’s, she calls Cynthia to talk about her Kung-Fu Panda moves on Porsha. All kidding aside, Kenya wants to help the two mend fences. Cynthia wonders if it’s too soon and Kenya tells her she will meet with Porsha beforehand to make sure the girl is in her right mind. Good luck with that.

Kenya and Porsha meet for dessert before the brunch and things don’t exactly get off to a smooth start. Porsha tells Kenya everything was great until Kenya wanted to kick Shamea off the boat. Kenya says it sounds like she’s getting the blame. Kenya simply wants Porsha to accept responsibility for her part and stop being all defensive and hostile. Porsha says she don’t need to justify her actions to Kenya, and is about to get up and leave, when Kenya calls a time-out. She explains that both Porsha and Cynthia were wrong, but in different ways.

Over at the brunch spot, Kim and Kandi are the first to arrive as they wait and wait for everyone else. Kim doesn’t like that no one shows up on time, and again I think, girl, have you watched this show before? Finally the gang is all here and Porsha and Kenya arrive together. When Kim asks where Porsha is on her clarity, she doesn’t respond, just sips her water through a straw. Then Porsha asks Cynthia if they can talk privately, which is very smart. And people call her dumb.

When it’s just the two of them, Cynthia asks Porsha if she’s okay. Porsha says she took two days off work so her bruised ego self could heal. The ladies work it out and before you can say, smack down, Porsha and Cynthia are hugging it out.

Meanwhile, back at the table, Kenya and Kandi are about to get into it. Kenya explains that Porsha has an inability to take responsibility for her actions and Kandi explains that Kenya has an inability to see flaws in herself. Really Kandi? The glare from Kenya could melt ice. Kim is impressed that the ladies are finally acting like grown-ass women.

All is well in Atlanta…until next week. Pack your bags because we’re going to Miami!

 

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