RECAP: Real Housewives of Atlanta “Party in a Sweatbox” [Season 8, Episode 3]

On this week’s episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, we see the ladies filming in and around Atlanta. I’d like to see where “Gone With the Wind” was inspired, but instead, Phaedra invites Porsha to have a colonic cleansing. You know, the procedure where they place a tube up your backdoor and flush you with water. According to Phae-Phae, everyone knows that a good hydro therapy once a year can provide miracles, child. Porsha’s bootie is a virgin to colonics, and why she agreed to this, we will never know. She’s in a bathtub/lounge chair being encouraged to “push out the poo” as Phaedra holds her hand.

The ladies discuss Porsha’s MVP, Duke. Turns out, he wasn’t running for the hills after his going away party and was cool with everything in the end. (Pardon the pun.) Porsha didn’t like how Kandi was throwing shade with that transgender comment. I mean, how does Duke know who he’s posing with in pictures? Give the man a break. People are lining up to take pictures with him. Can’t you just be happy that Porsha is happy? Phaedra tells Porsha about the hidden motorcycles at Kandi’s. Porsha says Phaedra was betrayed.

Speaking of the betrayer, Kandi is in bed with Todd, wearing that do rag he hates, talking about her heart-to-heart with Phaedra. Their friendship is on a one-day-at-a-time status because Phaedra needs to build a bridge and get over herself. Todd is proud that at least Kandi mentioned the money she owes him, even though Todd won’t see a dime of it.

Over at Cynthia’s house, Leon stops by to help select a tutor for their daughter, Noelle, who will be home-schooled so she can become a singer. Cue the cute tutor. Kemaray is 26 years-old and has credentials, but Cynthia is worried his sparkling eyes, beautiful grin, and long braids will distract her…daughter. 

When Leon and Cynthia are alone, he tells Cynthia he’s heard through the grapevine about her marriage. Cynthia says she’s tired of being unhappy. Leon says she’s walked away from more relationships than she’s stayed in. Oh, snap! Leon then gives Cynthia a boxing related pep talk about fighting for something and getting knocked out. Cynthia feels invigorated.

Next we go to Porsha’s Dish Nation appearance at a charity fun run. Kandi arrives to cheer her on. Porsha brings up Duke, again, and Kandi gives her excellent advice, “Do some preliminary research so you can be aware.” Unfortunately, Porsha does not listen and says she trusts that everything is going to be okay. Bless, her heart.

Kenya and Marlo are meeting at a building with ‘Passionate,’ the party planner. That’s her name, and with a name like that, you know it’s got to be bad. Kenya is introducing her hair care line. As they walk around the room, Kenya and Marlo discuss Sheree, and Kenya reveals, being the good neighbor she is, she wants to throw Sheree a rent party. Marlo says, oh no you won’t. Kenya approves the space to Passionate, but Marlo’s last words will haunt her event, “Make sure the room is cold for the party.”

Back at Cynthia’s house, she’s a lonely girl. Watering the plants. Playing with her dog. Generally just being along. She tries to call Peter several times, but the call and their relationship are disconnected.

Kim is all excited to be going out tonight with her husband, Chris. He’s happy, too, because the kids will be home with a babysitter. Kim is nervous. She’s not a girls-night- out, kind of girl. Which is why she has no friends. But this will give Kim and Chris a goal at the party. To meet people and make friends. And Kim is bringing out Kimmy, so look out world.

It’s party time! The hair care event is being organized by Kenya’s buddy Brandon, and he’s breaking out in a sweat. Supposedly they are trying to cool down the room. Porsha arrives with Shamea. And girl let me tell you something, Shamea wants a peach. She tells Porsha the hair care products are made of water. Most everyone at the party is fanning themselves, the place is so warm, and there’s no water, so Shamea drinks the shampoo and quenches her thirst.

Kim arrives at the event and recognizes Kandi from her Escape days. Kandi tells Kim she’s pregnant, and is all about supporting her girlfriends, but dang this heat. Kandi leaves. Bye, girl. The rest of the ladies arrive, Phaedra, Cynthia, Marlo, Sheree, and finally Kenya, on the arm of a new man. And they are both hot, but not in the good way. Note to self: next time booking an event, make sure the air conditioning works. Kenya and Eugene enter and leave to find a cooler place.

The ladies gather on the sofa, and Kim explains that she and Chris were hoping to meet some new friends. Phaedra informs Kim that her husband’s in jail, so that won’t be happening with them. Cynthia says that she’s been married for 5 years, but isn’t speaking to her husband right now, so that won’t be happening with them either.

After Kenya’s new man encourages her to go back into the room to her guests, Kenya apologizes for the excessively warm atmosphere. Shamea asks Kenya if she knew her hair care bottles were filled with water. Kenya is saying, Who does this bitch think she is? as she twirls away with Marlo.

Later, Sheree and Kenya have a talk in the air conditioning and suddenly they are more understanding of each other’s faults, though personally neither feels they have any faults, but agree to start over. Turns out, Sheree was taken advantage of by a couple of contractors, and that’s why Chateau Sheree is taking forever. The other girls are really happy Sheree and Kenya have worked it out, so the hair care event wasn’t a total loss. Can I get an amen!

Guess who’s back in town? Peter. It’s been ten days since they’ve spoken to each other.Peter admits to being a crazy drunk at her eyewear event. He says their ambition supersedes their relationship and they don’t spend enough time together and it’s all Cynthia’s fault. Cynthia points out she relocated her life for him in Atlanta and then he decides to open a bar in Charlotte. Peter’s eyes are red, a lone tear glides down his skin. He asks Cynthia when she stopped loving him. She says she doesn’t know. Of course, we know. About the time she saw the video of Peter and the other woman. They promise to give it one last try with no more talk of a backdoor, plan B, or divorce.

Tune in next week when the ladies have a smack down on the water.

 

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