Say what you want about the ladies of the Real Housewives of Atlanta, they know how to bring it. The season 8 premier didn’t disappoint with the drama and shade, and required 15 extra minutes to get it all in. Let’s get started.
We begin with Kandi Burruss and her man, Todd, arriving at Married to Medicine, Dr. Jackie’s office. Kandi tells Todd he’s slacking on the door-opening duties, but all is forgotten when we hear the baby’s heart beat. Kandi is twelve weeks pregnant and glowing. She and Todd say they want a healthy baby, but with two girls in the house, they really want a boy. Dr. Jackie warns Kandi to take it easy since her pregnancy is considered high-risk.
Over at Ms. Phaedra Parks house she is getting ready for a visit from Porsha Williams with proper punch and cookies on a tray. Porsha rolls up in a Rolls-Royce and struts her bootie inside. According to Phae-Phae, Porsha has upgraded her bootie from a donkey to a monster.
Things are great for Porsha, ratings are off the charts at Dish Nation, she has a young stud in her life (#SugarMama), and she’s living her truth, y’all. And the truth is, Porsha hasn’t seen his business yet. Mmm-hmm. Phaedra tells Porsha that she and the boys are in weekly contact with Apollo, they are cordial with each other, and when she travels, she sends him postcards.#LiesByPhaedra Phaedra probably signs them, “Glad you ain’t here.”
When we check in with Cynthia Bailey, she’s sitting on the porch, drinking wine, being all reflective. Peter has just arrived home and is calling her name, but Cynthia doesn’t answer. The cameras cuts back-and-forth from Phaedra and Porsha to Peter and Cynthia. Here’s what went down. Remember that video with Peter kissing another woman and stroking his hand across her breast? This is when that video was leaked.
Peter strolls onto the patio and tries to kiss Cynthia, but she ain’t having none of it. Cynthia informs Peter about the video. Peter says he’s seen it and it’s no big deal. NO BIG DEAL? He knew about it? Peter, you screwed up by not getting in front of this train wreck and frankly, your cavalier attitude is pissing off Cynthia even more. Peter explains it’s just a young lady who frequents the bar, y’all. He’s innocent, y’all. #WhyYouAlwaysLying
Meanwhile, Mr. Innocent is sweating bullets. He gets up to leave, but Cynthia tells Peter to sit his ass back down. Whether he was hitting this “very nice” ho or not, point is, the video is an embarrassment. Girl, hello! You’re a bad ass!
Porsha is at the Atlanta Hyatt, wearing sexy lingerie, waiting on her new manboy. Guess we know what’s about to go down. His name is Duke and he’s a 24-year-old who plays for the Buffalo Bills. Duke tells Porsha he almost missed his flight because he stayed up all night partying, but not to worry, he slept on the flight and ready to go. Not so fast, says Porsha. She has champagne and strawberries to feed him because he doesn’t feed her because he’s a kid. And then there’s the new v-neck shirt which Duke is commanded to try on in front of the camera. Dayum, Duke! Guns are blazing.
We catch up with Kenya Moore driving in Buckhead, taking Cynthia to see her new home. Great news. Kenya and Sheree Whitfield will be neighbors. Close neighbors. Five-hundred feet away neighbors. Cynthia brings up Peter and his video and says she doesn’t have time for this nonsense. She has been eating, sleeping and pooping her eyewear line and doesn’t need Peter to constipate her empire.
Kenya points out Château Sheree. It’s a striking, albeit, incomplete home. Kenya’s home is an architecturally modern foreclosure with a treacherous drive to the front door. It’s also incomplete. Cynthia prefers Chateau Sheree over Moore Manor. The race is one as to who finishes first.
Back at Phaedra’s house, her
demon Pastor mom is helping out with the kids. They have a heart-to-heart about Apollo and we learn that things aren’t as cordial between them like Phaedra told Porsha. Because he’s locked up, Apollo has nothing better to do than get on Phaedra’s nerves. And if having a husband in the clink isn’t bad enough, things between Phaedra and Kandi are still weird. Phaedra has come to a decision to divorce Apollo. #Shady #Shiesty
Over at Kandi and Todd’s place, as they gaze at Apollo’s motorcycle collection taking up space in their garage, Kandi is having that exact same conversation about their weird friendship with Todd. But here’s the real deal. Todd is pissed about the money Phaedra still owes for her workout video that never was, Phine Body. Remember that mess? Kenya dodged a bullet with that one.
There’s a quick scene with Kandi and her daughter Riley as Kandi discovers none of her clothes fit anymore. Riley has transformed from an awkward tween to a beautiful teenager and she’s only thirteen. Look-out.
Cynthia and her assistant are planning her eyewear event when her troublemaker sister Malorie arrives. The assistant sees this as her signal to leave. Right away they discuss Peter’s video. Cynthia doesn’t think Peter is cheating. Malorie does. Malorie asks Cynthia if she’s still in love with Peter. Cynthia says yes. Malorie asks Cynthia if she’s still attracted to Peter. Cynthia says yes. Mallory asks Cynthia if she’s attracted to Peter with his clothes off. Why, Malorie, why? That’s why God created the dark. Sadly, Cynthia says no. The sisters cry and hug it out.
It’s time for the eyewear launch party! Who doesn’t like to try on sunglasses. Porsha is excited to be there. She says when a woman is involved in her business, she won’t be involved in your business. Dang, girl. That is a tattoo-on-the-monster-ass worthy statement. The other girls show up, including Marlo Hampton from seasons ago. But where is Cynthia? Everyone knows you shouldn’t be late to your own event, darling.
Kenya shares with Marlo that her new neighbor, She by Sheree, is the talk of the neighborhood for taking so long to build her house. It’s in danger of going from Château Sheree to Château IRS. Then Kenya shares with Marlo that she’s contemplating a dip in the lady pond.
Peter shows up and makes the unfortunate choice to tell Kenya he’s late because he was busy with the young lady from the video.
Dick Bad move and Kenya’s just the woman to let him know. You go, girl. They get loud and Malorie walks. Marlo of all people tries to broker peace. Peter eventually storms off, like a bitch, as NeNe would say.
Out on the roof top, Marlo and Kenya tell the other ladies what went down with Peter. Malorie joins the conversation and spills the tea about Cynthia not being attracted to Peter in the nude. Oh, no she di’ent. Oh, yes she did. Where is Cynthia, by the way? Finally, the diva arrives and flashes the crowd with her white bikini bottom. Cynthia kisses the girls hello and thankfully no one tells her about the fight with Peter. Let her enjoy her moment…for now.
She by Sheree is in the house! Not her real house, that’s not finished yet. She hugs Cynthia. Kenya is quick to introduce herself and notify Sheree that the entire neighborhood has been complaining about her to the city. Sheree says when you’ve build a house, then you can talk to her, until then keep renting.
Oh, snap! Cynthia steps in the middle, but the shade keep flying between the two women. I guess they won’t be borrowing sugar from one another. The other ladies try to shut down the altercation before drinks start flying.
Tune in next week for the parties conclusion and for Kim “Tootie” Fields. Maybe she can knock some sense into these women. What did you think of tonight’s premier of Season 8.