When we arrive on the Sister Wives cult-de-sac, the Browns are scurrying around, getting ready to check in with Lawyer Ron. We are reminded of the divorce and marriage switcheroo, as the camera falls on a lovingly staged photo of Kodes and Robyn. Robyn is blossoming with #18, and Kody’s tummy has joined her, in loving support. Mare continues to rock her white stitched, 40+ divorcee denim, as they all head out, to visit the stoically snoozy Ron. Kody reminds us of the nagging concern that has haunted the Browns, and threatens their freedom to brainwash Robyn’s kids with their cultish wisdom, if Robyn up and kicks during childbirth. Ron gives the Browns the wonderful news that all 150 Browns can cram into the courtroom for the big adoption event. The three kids may have to take the stand, which worries Robyn, because she wants to shield them from the emotional intensity that comes with being dumped by your father. The family is offered several court dates, and Robyn, who evidently knows everyone’s schedule, decides for all of them. Mare shares that she has been having lots of conflicting and fishy thoughts about the divorce. Janelle ironically jokes that sticking it out through this crapstorm of a marriage is the ticket to moderate contentment.
Madison has a big announcement, and she and Janelle draw Kody and Christine together to spill the news. Madison shares that the other two moms are swell, but Christine has always been more invested in her life. They sit down, and Kody asks if “somebody’s in trouble.” Maddie cracks a joke that she’s pregnant, as she clutches a sofa pillow over her billowy blouse. Madison loves to play the shock factor, and watch all the of color drain from her father’s receding hairline. She spills that there is a guy that she is serious about, and that they all actually know him. Madison announces that his name is Caleb Brush, and the reveal overjoys the family. Could such a reaction mean that he is already IN the family? Well….Kody’s late brother was married to Caleb’s sister, which makes him a perfect icky fit for the Browns.
Janelle assures us that this is just a little intertwined marriage weirdness, and definitely does not involve a blood relative. Not only is Caleb Maddie’s fella, but they are planning to get married! THIS is the first mention to the family about this love affair? The pair met during a mutual period of loss, and supposedly half-heartedly committed to be together a couple of years later. He is older, but due to Madison’s intense maturity, she responded with a resounding “sort of,” when Caleb swept her off her feet with his charms. Janelle wants to share Madison and Caleb’s lukewarm passion, so Mare pulls away from her phone long enough to trudge over. Robyn joins them, white stitching a-blazing. Meri and Robyn are surprised, but overjoyed that marriage freakiness will live on in the next generation.
We sit in on Kody and Robyn explaining to Dayton that because of his age, he needs to sign onto becoming Kody’s son. Kody wisely informs him that if he chooses to become a criminal, he should do it now, rather than later. Dayton expresses confusion and unawareness, the perfect state of mind for signing a serious document. Lawyer Ron tries to explain the situation to Dayton, and the whole scenario appears to be scaring him. Robyn assures him that the judge will be kind, and will go easy on his confusion. Dayton is a sweet boy, and is glad to be part of the cult-de-sac…he thinks. Dayton finds the experience weird, and Robyn corrects him, labeling it “intense.”
The day before the adoption hearing has dawned, as we listen to little Savannah spew indoctrinated nonsense, referring to Robyn’s kids as her “spiritual siblings.” Christine is on wardrobe duty, and forces her kids to model their fanciest clothes, to distract her from worrying about a monogamous judge. She explains the situation to Truely, by acting out the scenario with her dolls, but the child finds the effort lame. Christine is so excited about the adoptions, that she doesn’t even choose the mangled doll to play Robyn. Mare and Mariah sluggishly weigh in, with Mariah rocking her collegiate grunge look. We jump over to a strikingly traditional looking family dinner at Robyn’s, where Kody slips BIG, and calls Aurora “Mrs. Brown.” Robyn’s kids are nervous, but Kody just hopes to show up on time, and say “yeah sure” to shlepping around a more humongous load of people.
The big day has arrived, and the Browns bustle around in their mini-mansions getting gussied up. The spiritual siblings are uneasy, and Kody grabs the opportunity to have a manly tie tying moment with his new son. Mare pulls away from her computer and phone long enough to blush and rub her neck, as she quips about being divorced, asserting that this whole adoption thingie is a-ok with her. Kody babbles gibberish from the TLC couch, while the clan solemnly climbs the courtroom steps.
Robyn is wearing a strange aloha-honey and white blazer ensemble, as the Brown crowd shuffles into the courtroom. Strangely, cameras are allowed in, to witness the whole shebang. Kody looks panicked as he responds to the judge, pardoning the hugeness of his harem. Lawyer Ron starts shooting general questions, Kody and Robyn answer them, and the judge approves the adoptions. The tears flow, as Mrs., I mean Miss Brown, and her siblings rejoice in the official moment of Brown belonging. They are all surprised at how easy the process was, and snap some photos to capture the memory. The whole thing looks like a cheap reenactment, from a low budget whodunit. I think it was the guy with the mop top and beer gut…or maybe Batman! Now you know that this is cause for celebration…which means party planning, Brown style. Don’t miss it!