RECAP: Ladies of London “The Cougar in the Room” [Episode 7]

Lady Julie is hosting a pheasant hunt on “Ladies of London.” Yay! Never mind she’s a vegetarian, we get to see a beautiful estate, rich landscaping, and guns and dogs and pubs. We begin with Lady Julie and Sophie shopping for proper shooting attire. Lady Julie wants to prove she’s cut out to be a Lady by hosting this shoot – despite her HSP and her fresh-off-the-bike look. Sophie thinks Lady Julie should step it up. Juliet joins the ladies to pick out socks. Chatting it up, Juliet and Sophie go out of their way not to address the tweed elephant in the room from the bowling party. Marissa’s “Cougar” comments to Carol. If they are still fighting, this could ruin the shoot. Lady Julie is in the dark – about many things – but especially with what Sophie and Juliet aren’t talking about.

Over at Carol’s flat, she has received a beautiful bouquet of red roses from her young cub. Caroline drops by and says, “How sweet,” with zero enthusiasm. The two discuss Marissa’s repeated “Cougar” comments at the bowling party. Turns out, Marissa has spoken to her “dear friend” about this. Problem is, that “dear friend” happens to be Carol’s sister. Marissa has blabbed to Carol’s sister that she doesn’t think Carol’s new cub of a boyfriend is a prince of a charming.

Across town, Marissa and her husband Matt are discussing the same topic. Turns out, Matt is chums with Carol’s sister’s husband. As Marissa explains how she was pushed out of the car by this guy, Matt rubs his face, tired of the daily drama. He advices his wife to apologize as quick as possible.

The shooting party is at Stoke Park in Buckinghamshire. This estate is the very definition of the word, estate. Poor Lady Julie. When she pulls into the circular drive, she doesn’t know how to turn off her Mercedes and proceeds to start it three times. Then she forgets her wallet and needs the car brought back to her. Her HSP is in high gear.

The ladies arrive, most have brought their husbands, some have brought friends, like Annabelle who has brought Liam—a likable odd duck. Lady Julie’s husband can’t attend because he’s too busy running Mapperton. Caroline is still mum’s-the-word on Gift Library’s dire circumstances. And Marissa did call and apologize to Carol, but Marissa is still upset about being pushed out of a car. I mean, let’s face it, wouldn’t you be? Getting pushed out of a car is a big deal. A person can get really hurt.Unless that person is totally exaggerating.

The couples meet for drinks and appetizers in the salon. Carol and Marissa are at two different tables. Marissa can’t see the daggers that are flying at the back of her head from Carol’s eyes. Marissa has done some soul-searching and concludes to Annabelle that she “misdirected” her anger from this guy, who shall remain nameless, to Carol. But Juliet has an even more brilliant thought: What’s so bad about being a cougar? It’s like being a MILF, right?

The acronyms of MILF have to be explained to Lady Julie again and again. She has never heard of this phrase. Ever. Try as they might, Lady Julie is unable to grasp what the letter “F” stands for. Annabelle gets up and whispers it into her ear. Lady Julie screams and turns pink. Seriously? Is Mapperton under a rock?

The shoot is at 8:00 am and Caroline wants no part of it. She needs a spa day. The rest board the bus. Annabelle is wearing a cat on her head, and everyone’s boots are to die for, literally. The horn is blown to commence shooting. Thankfully, Carol and Marissa stay far apart. Annabelle gives her cat-hat to Carol to wear and right away she shoots a pheasant. Marissa also shoots a bird and is pleased that it’s dead.

After her massage, Caroline arrives in the mud in her Chanel boots and chinchilla vest, ready for the pub. As per British protocol, the straight men leave and return to London and the women and their gay friends stay behind for a lavish dinner. Annabelle checks out on the pub, however she leaves Liam behind. When Liam asks Lady Julie how many birds she shot, she gets upset. In the Montague family, it’s tradition not to talk about how many birds you killed. Liam says in his family it’s tradition to take a shot for each shot. Liam’s family tradition is better!

It’s dinner time and the ladies are decked out. All except Marissa and Lady Julie. Where are they? In a bubble bath together drinking the bubbly. Those crazy Americans! Lady “Loose Lips” Julie, spills the tea to Marissa that Carol is planning a take-down should she say anything about her boyfriend at dinner. It’s so on.

In her Talking Head, Caroline explains that Carol has a strained relationship with her parents since her divorce. Carol says she’s in love but hasn’t introduced her boyfriend to her parents. And now thanks to Marissa, the only opinion her parents have of said boyfriend is that he pushed someone out of a car.

Downstairs, everyone is hungry and tired of waiting on Marissa and Lady Julie who is being very un-Lady-like leaving her guests waiting. Dinner was supposed to be at 8:00, it’s now 9:30. Caroline and gang seat themselves at the dinner table, tired of waiting, ready to order.

Marissa and Lady Julie finally arrive at dinner. During their walk of shame, Caroline tells them she expects they would look better after taking so long. Carol’s skin is crawling having to sit across from Marissa. Caroline makes an off-the-cuff remark about Luke “creaming” her skin. Marissa says that’s sexual. Carol seizes the moment to put Marissa in her place. Hah! Carol defends the creamers of the world! Thank you for the difficult task of spreading lotion on models during photo shoots. 

Sensing someone’s cream was about to come to the top, Annabelle asks Carol to take a ciggy break. When they are out of the room, Caroline explains to everyone, especially Marissa, that her blabbing has created more family problems for Carol. Marissa says she didn’t blab, she simply told one “dear friend” who happens to be Carol’s sister.

When Carol returns, she leaves again for the loo. Marissa decides this is the time to “sit the little cougar down.” Carol says she tried to climb through her bathroom window after hearing Marissa’s voice, unfortunately she was unable to escape. The two ladies sit on the sofa and Marissa explains that she thought she had already apologized to Carol.

But hold the telly – turns out, this young cub didn’t shove Marissa out of the car. According to Carol, he asked Marissa several times to get in or get out because he wanted to leave. The way Marissa says it I pictured her being tossed from a moving car. Her exact words were “shoved from a car.” Sounds like the car door was slammed in Marissa’s face. Not cool, but not as appalling as she made it sound.

Marissa apologizes again. And Carol accepts again. They hug and kiss it out in front of the other ladies. Half the group is ready to go to bed after dinner, so Caroline and Carol go to her room. While the remaining ladies pour alcohol down Juliet’s throat through a funnel, Carol tells Caroline she doesn’t trust Marissa.

 

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