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RECAP: #SisterWives “More Girls Than Kody Can Handle?” [Episode 8]

Sister Wives

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Sister Wives

A more exposed week of Sister Wives has arrived, and we kick off by flashing back to the phony anthropology study, and researcher Antoinette. Antoinette, evidently a parenting pro, highly recommends that Kody share something with his daughters, other than hair care products. Robyn broke through to Kody, convincing him that caring about his daughters would be a swell idea. 

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We jump to the TLC couch, which is still missing Mare, who is probably off peeling a banana somewhere. Kody announces that a beach trip is in the works, and even the big, happy surprise is awkward. The girls admit that they don’t get to hang with Kody much, and they are excited to feel taken care of by their own father. SAD! Later, the girls hug their moms goodbye, and begin packing the van. Janelle almost bursts into tears at the deep level of terrified trust she has in Kody. Kody thinks that the trip will be a snap, because there will not be jealousy issues, and conditioner aplenty. Kody comments that you can never have too much stuff, or too many Kody-clones running around. Robyn lectures him on the basics of Girls 101, and shares with the audience that they all hope that their daughters don’t whore around looking for Daddy-love.  Indeed.

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The crew stops at a cute retro diner, as Robyn assures us that Kody loves his kids like 1 million percent. It’s deep as the ocean and not to be questioned, even though that no one has ever accused Kody of not loving his herd of spawn. Janelle defends Kody multiplying like rabbits, while Christine informs us that 17 kids is actually an extremely puny family. They stop and grocery shop for canned food, eggs, and packaged mac and cheese, but somehow manage to buy too much. Cracking out the can opener will surely be a shoulder rubbing experience of bonding, because Kode’s is normally hanging in just Robyn’s kitchen in the morning. They enter their fluorescent yellow beach house, and it is a cute little getaway space. Kody is sure that no relationship politics will make the trip far less torturous than existing with his 4 competing ball and chains, back in Vegas. The group runs into the ocean, as Kody’s locks whip majestically in the sea  breeze.

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Back at the cult-de-sac, we hear that Madison has been rejected in her bid to be baptized in the mainstream LDS church. As we know, the LDS church wants NOTHING to do with polygamy, so it is NO surprise that the church wants Maddie to denounce her sponsored by TLC, showboat family. However, the church will be up for it, once her family gives up their TLC checks, and fade into foreclosure. Don’t hold your breath Maddie! The sister wives act SHOCKED and heartbroken for Maddie, and the display is beyond fake. It appears that no one prepared Maddie for this development, and she is saddened by the rejection. She feels that she fits in nowhere, and is now turned off by all religion. The women lament and gasp over the shocking unfairness of Madison’s plight, as Mare counts down how much longer this scene is going to take.   

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Back at the beach, the group is hitting a theme park, because it is the Cali-cool place to be. Kody frantically corrals the girls, and they head out. They ride some rides, and scarf down puke-friendly ice cream. Kody furrows his brow and somberly rambles on about a couple of the girls not wanting to ride, like it is a crucial fatherly lesson that will trigger life or death consequences. Kody is uncovering the sacred emotional boundaries that surround amusement park rides, and the delicate balance between shoving the girls on, and letting them spread their wings from the sidelines.  Kody expresses that he desires all of his girls to feel safe and free to communicate their nausea, while he envelops Aurora in a “best girl” embrace. He later rides the merry-go-round with his wimpier, boundary obsessed daughters.

Back in Vegas, we sit through an agonizing show-down between Mare and Janelle. Basically they have hated each other since the day they met, and want to take the monumental step of uniting in their hidden hatred for Kody instead. Mare spills that the initial convo with Janelle was four months ago, from where else, her office.

Sister Wives

Mare slams into Janelle’s house like she is ready to throw down, rather than hug it out, and is practically blushing through her pumpkin inspired spray tan. She is smiley and giggly, and VERY unlike herself…I wonder why? Mare is ready to progress forward, probably because she already HAS, and Janelle is moved to tears, by this shockingly warm alien of a sister wife. Shock is Janelle’s emotional trigger, and makes her weep, even more than the paralyzing fear of trusting Kody with her children. Janelle’s astonishment then leads her to do the unthinkable…embrace her orange sister wife, without cringing.   

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Back in Cali, Kody and the girls head to a boogie-board worthy beach. Robyn is disappointed that while the trip has been party central, her chosen teary drama has been lamely minimal. She is obviously still in the dark about the epic breakthrough Kodes had, while agonizing over whether or not to force his daughters onto a rollercoaster. Kody conveniently forgot everything he needed to embarrass himself surfing, so everyone has to settle with watching him fling his wet mop around, in the waves. They hit the boardwalk, and we are informed that Kody would harness his sperm if his kids weren’t so darn fabulous. Kody flashes his man jewelry while telling us that it’s up to his new queen to determine how many more times he will procreate. Kody rides the mechanical shark, and yammers stupidly at the girls, as he deflects from any meaningful dialogue. 

Sister Wives

They celebrate Ysabel’s (yes, that is how it’s spelled) birthday, and Kody proclaims that there is actually no distance problem, and that his relationship with his girls is sheer perfection. The girls had a good time, and all is peaceful on the Brown cult-de-sac. That takes care of all of them! Kody’s girls are attended to and out of the way, so next week we can shift ALL of our focus on Queen Robyn…who is laden with #18.  See you then!

 

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