RECAP: #TeenMom2 Finale – Jenelle and Nathan Try To Keep The Peace & Leah Messer Gets Out of Rehab

Leah Messer

The Teen Mom 2 finale begins with Leah jetting home after 30 days of INTENSIVE therapy.  Leah is concerned about being in parenting synch with Corey.  Corey is disappointed that the twins have to endure so much stress, and he and his dad hope that Leah will be “better,” when she returns. Jeremy brings Addie to the airport to meet Leah, and the mother and daughter are reunited. Leah gathers the twins from their dad, and everyone is happy, except Corey. Gum chomping cousin Chasity asks Leah about her experience in treatment.  Leah admits that that her problems were simply a scheduling issue, and that now she finally comprehends what that flight attendant speech about oxygen masks, was all about. It’s all about livin’ and learnin’… and hopefully Leah is learnin’ how to resist the pills. Chasity chomps in agreement. Dawn landed Leah in new digs during her absence, and she is all set to start over. Unfortunately, baby daddies require attention, so Leah sets up a meeting with Corey, to discuss parenting. 

She shares with her friends that the meeting is a must, because she is actually awake now, and wants to try out her new rehab coping skills.  She is angry that Corey believes that she’s a junkie rather than a narcoleptic ball of stress, and doesn’t want Miranda to butt her cute  nose into their parenting beeswax.  Corey and Miranda decide that as a stepparent, she deserves to be involved, and Leah should respect their marriage. Leah is driving to the meeting with Corey, and as she pulls into the parking space, her friend spots Miranda. Leah panics for some unknown reason, refusing to be in the same space as Miranda. Leah leaves, and it reeks of something sketchy, considering she has met with Miranda several times before. Miranda doesn’t get it, considering all that she has done for the twins. Leah refers to meeting with her ex alone as “talks like this.” WHY did Leah bring two friends with her to gawk from the car, if her girls’ stepmother is not even allowed? Hmmmm….something stinks in Hillbilly Land.

Last Leah thoughts:  Leah is a true trailer hillbilly who will probably have six more kids with various fathers.  Hopefully she has moved on from her anxiety, depression, bed hopping, and junkie tendencies.   

Chelsea Houska

As we check in with Chelsea, we learn that Aubree has been sick, and the pig is still roaming the house.  Chelsea and Cole discuss how cool it will be to live together full-time, and Cole gets a thumbs up for bringing himself to say no to Aubree once in awhile.  It is decided that Chelsea will cover all of the screaming NOS, and the couple agrees that after a whole year they are so in love, that they don’t even need marriage.  Just kidding…but HELLO..where’s the ring?  Chelsea’s pal Chelsey swings by, and settles in for a chat, as Pete the pig listens in, from his spot on the couch.  They discuss the perpetual douchebag that Adam has been all season.  Cole is the best, and Adam is the worst, in case you haven’t heard.  Speaking of the worst, Adam is reading Aubree’s Father’s Day card, with MTV reminding us one last time,  of the loser father that he is.  The big day has arrived, Cole is moving in, and Chelsea and Aubree are dancing happy because now they will have a lawn mowing man handy.   Cole commits big, by moving in a suitcase, and a few hangers.  To celebrate the transition they embrace, and Chelsea’s baby talk kicks in.  Hopefully Cole packed an econo-bottle of Advil.

Last Chelsea thoughts: This girl needs to move on.  No one wants to listen to her whine endlessly about her reprobate ex, and baby talk to her dreamboat roommate.  Congrats Chelsea, you are officially too well-adjusted for Teen Mom. Is it just me, or does Cole seem “not that into” her?  Chelsea should have waited for the ring.

Jenelle Evans

Jenelle turned herself in after her surprise clawing attack on Nathan, was bailed out, and is awaiting her court date. Ryan, the bail poster, encourages Jenelle to just focus on being a parent, and Babs is proud of Jenelle for ditching the dead weight. Later, Jenelle calls the dead weight, to get Kaiser back, and Nathan wants to talk. Jenelle decides to pass, and asks him to just dump their kid, and beat it. Nathan has a new, creepy,  sweeping back tattoo, but aside from that visual horror, the exchange goes peacefully. Nathan wants to get back together, and decides to throw Jenelle a solid, and offer his muscular services, as long as she leaves the police out of it.   We listen in, while the couple tries to have a mature convo about stopping the crazy madness that is their romance, in order to live like actual humans. 

They argue over whether or not Nathan’s marks were worth another mugshot, but Jenelle insists absolutely YES, because Nathan brought his new biotch into her driveway.  Nathan assures Jenelle that she is his #1 pick, despite the fact that Jessica is one awesome chick. The discussion ends when Jenelle catches him admitting that he left Kaiser in the care of a likely dirty whore. 

That is completely unacceptable, because Jenelle’s whorey friends are the only ones on the approved sitter list. The charges against Jenelle are dropped, and she and her mom enjoy Jace’s graduation, along with some peaceful mother/daughter time. Jace is growing up well, and Babs points out that Jenelle is unsettled, but with Nathan gone, things are looking up. Jenelle finally admits that her mom deserves the credit for keeping Jace out of foster care. I can’t believe my ears. FINALLY. 

Last thoughts: Jenelle is Jenelle.  Maybe someday we will see growth. Her convo with our beloved Babs revealed just the tiniest glimpse, but I am not holding my breath.

Kailyn Lowry

Kailyn, Javi and the boys celebrate Isaac’s graduation with pizza and cake, and Isaac is simply the cutest pee-wee graduate ever. Kailyn brings Isaac to his dad’s, and uses the occasion to discuss the miserable parental failure that Jo has become. Jo is forgetting everything, but he claims that he just didn’t know about Isaac’s important preschool milestone. Kailyn thinks he has some nerve, to ask her to not drag the courts into her child support needs, when he can’t even show up anywhere on time. Jo explains that he can’t take care of anyone, or cough up any extra cash.

Kailyn and the family are sharing a meal, and Kailyn kicks off the discussion with an apology for cursing at Javi, because she doesn’t want to look like an idiot like Jo.  Javi believes that Jo is lazy, needs a job, and is just a cheapskate. Kailyn agrees. They both think that Jo needs to be dragged back into court. Jo and Vee chat about Kailyn’s pissed-off state, and Jo doesn’t know what to do, because he’s broke, Kailyn is greedy, and Vee is knocked up. A J-O-B doesn’t occur to either of them. Kailyn and Javi bring the boys to their new home, and the guys are excited. The family’s plate is full, but things look promising. 

Last Kailyn thoughts: Kailyn has jumped the shark, and my eyes are starting to cross from all of her hideous tattoos. I am glad that she and Javi aren’t clawing each other’s eyes out anymore, and can focus more on maintaining their luxury vehicles.

It’s been fun everyone!  Until next season! 

 

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