Marissa Hermer Dishes on Conflict with Juliet Angus: ” Juliet Brings A Lot of Drama”

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Christmas in London. I swear I’m going to go one of these days and see it for myself. However, I doubt Marissa Hermer will invite me to the sing-a-long at The Royal Albert Hall. Juliet, from the Ladies of London, and I have that in common. (Solidarity, my American sister!)

I’m totally on the fence about Marissa not inviting Juliet to the sing-ding. Did Juliet deserve a timeout after the Thanksgiving Tantrum? (Ooo, that’s good—maybe I’ll start a series of children’s holiday books. Next will be the Christmas Catastrophe. Very uplifting, no?) Yes, she did. Juliet was OTT with her turkey drama. Why the hell did she care that much about the location? Juliet has moved several times in the four years she’s been in London, so it’s not like she has any solid traditions. She seems incapable of compromise. I can understand Marissa not inviting her. This was a family get together, and you never know when Juliet might pop off.

However… I throw the bullshit penalty flag on Marissa acting shocked in this week’s blog:

“I was surprised that Juliet took not being invited as a slight – after our Thanksgiving drama it would have been strange if I HAD invited her! I hadn’t spoken to her in a few weeks so for me to then reconcile with her while my family was in town for that event just wasn’t the right place…”

Maybe not, but she could have called her and laid down the rules, clearly and concisely. I absolutely believe Marissa knew Juliet would feel shunned by this. Who wouldn’t?

Marissa also missed Baroness Caroline Fleming’s Scandinavian Christmas, aka the Feast of the Laughing Hyena, featuring Cheeto-encrusted duck with a side of dog hair. Marissa might have been too sick to attend, but she appreciates the Baroness’ sense of style.

“She created such a beautiful tablescape – and I especially love the personalized biscuits for placecards.”

But read on. Because this is where it gets good.

“…actually Caroline’s sister is a dear friend of mine and every year we actually cook a Danish Goose Dinner together- it is my favorite.”

A throwaway line? No. I finally have a handle on Marissa’s personality. She’s a one-upper. No matter what you do, where you go—she’s seen it, she’s done it. And she’s probably done it better than you, bitch. Check and mate. This may be why the other ladies feel some kind of way toward her. And this is why Annabelle accused Marissa of being “upper aspirational middle class” last week. That’s not a compliment in any way. (Further reading about U—upper class—and Non-U—non-upper class—can be had in Watching the English by Kate Fox. A fascinating read, IMO.)

So now we get to the fallout of the Christmas Dis. Marissa and Juliet square off, face to face. Their body language said this was going to be a High Noon-style confrontation—the English way—over tea.

“I’m thankful that Juliet asked me to sit down with her to clear the air –  we hadn’t spoken to each other in a few weeks… There was a lot of drama surrounding Thanksgiving and for me it was a reality check on the state of our friendship.”

Now as I stated, I’m on the fence about all this. But I’m also a human being with a heart, and Marissa seemed a bit cold at that meeting. Unfeeling. I was expecting a polite “sorry” and moving onto a shaky truce. That didn’t happen.

“…I couldn’t handle any more drama. I needed to take a step back and set some boundaries. Juliet was the one who actually  described the new chapter of our relationship as BFF to F, but I couldn’t have described it more perfectly.”

It sounded a lot more final to me. The “oh yeah, we’ll still see each other and be polite” bit rang hollow. I think these two will have trouble being in the same room with each other. Especially given Juliet’s inability to let anything go. But the look on her face as she left Marissa sitting there made me sad. I think we might have just witnessed the death of a friendship. I hope not. I hope those two crazy kids can double-cheek kiss and make up.

Whose side are you on? Did Marissa do the right thing? And what about the BFF breakup?


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