We are back in the sunny Bahamas with the cast of Married to Medicine the morning after the bitchfest named Jill. But there’s hope for the ladies, Simone and Mariah have planned a last minute medical mission for the poor. Such humanitarians! Thanks for taking a moment to stop fighting long enough to help others.
After they make the arrangements, Simone and Mariah talk bout how she strutted her bad self out of dinner the night before. Mariah claims she’s human, but still fabulous, and was feeling hurt and rejected by the other ladies. Mariah says she is a car stuck in neutral, and her drive and reverse gears are broken. Simone says it’s important to let the other ladies see her human side. Uh-oh. The side that’s not so fabulous? Say it isn’t so.
At a different beach, Toya, Lisa, and Heavenly are sitting on a mattress in their bathing suits, soaking up the rays. Heavenly still cannot believe that Jill has not one, but two ivy league degrees. She’s convinced that Jill must have slept with the janitor and her professor and the president. Toya tries to shut it down, but there’s no shutting down Heavenly. Toya suggests that Jill had a “fraudulent slip.” This was a LOL moment. Lisa knows the correct word is “Freudian slip” however, she doesn’t know the correct meaning. She says it’s when you think something, but don’t say it out loud. No, dear, that’s called class. A Freudian slip is an error that reveals subconscious feelings. I swear, it’s like watching an episode of “The Three Stooges.”
And guess who just happens to walk up, y’all, Miss Jill. After she gets all comfy on the bed, Heavenly announces that she can’t have an intelligent conversation with people who aren’t intelligent. According to Heavenly, Jill only says stupid stuff, lies, and starts unnecessary drama. Heavenly shows her level of intelligence when she labels Jill a “goofy ass” and Jill matches her intellect when she calls Heavenly a “dumb bitch.” The best example of “intelligence” however is when Heavenly says to Jill, “Yo mama is a dumb bitch.” Classic example of two intelligent people discussing their differing viewpoints.
Heavenly walks off and before Lisa follows her, she tells Toya to get Jill under control. Jill does not like this. She fires back at Lisa that at least she doesn’t throw water or hit people. Bam! There’s so much shade in that it’s a total eclipse. Heavenly and Lisa leave, but Jill continues to rip the “fake ass bitches” apart. Did you know that Heavenly wears a broken, fake Rolex and Lisa can’t pay her taxes. It’s rare that Toya is the voice of reason, but when she asks Jill if she really wants to go back and forth with these heifers, Jill finally shuts up.
The men have escaped for the afternoon without their women for some peace and quiet. But they do find time for some girl talk over conch burgers. Dr. John is asked by the men how he plans to handle the Daddy-Damon situation once he arrives. Dr. John says he plans to handle it by not placing any more bad tastes in his mouth. Next, the men try to figure out why women do the things they do, but wisely give up after a few sips of beer.
Jill and Toya track down Heavenly and Lisa for round two. Jill asks Heavenly why she doesn’t want to speak with ignorant people. This is when I yelled at my TV screen – it’s not ignorant, you dumb bitch, it’s intelligent. Heavenly says it’s because Jill is a liar. Jill corrects her by saying she’s an exaggerator. There’s a difference. Toya is thrilled that Jill isn’t one of those push-over white girls, but damn, y’all. Enough is enough. Get Toya a drink. Hope she brought her vitamin infusions with her.
Jill is giving Dr. John the rundown on what happened on the beach with the other ladies. Dr. John gives his wife invaluable advice that bears repeating. He says, just because you’re from Jersey doesn’t give you license to be obnoxious. I love this guy. What is he doing with Jill? Oh, wait. My bad.
It’s time for the medical mission! Dr. Daddy has arrived and Heavenly couldn’t be happier. For some reason, Mariah, Lisa and Toya are driving separately to the event. I guess they couldn’t get on the bus with the others. They have a quick discussion about Mariah and her chariot and how she won’t step down to throw tomatoes with the pigs. Or was it at the pigs?
We finally see Quad. Girl, has got it going on with her red pantsuit and black high heels. The perfect attire for helping the less fortunate. Just sayin, the Red Cross should consider this for their new uniform. In the end, the mission was accomplished and I totally commend the cast for volunteering their time for a good cause.
That night, the couple dance and dine on the beach. I almost didn’t recognize Jill. For some reason she shows up in a long, brunette wig. It’s like Jill’s saying, “Hey everyone, look at me, I’m not a dumb blonde anymore.”
Simone has planned a couple’s group therapy session. A flashback is shown of a past group sessions. Cecil likes these because last time he learned that everyone is crazy, not just his wife. Toya likes them too. Knowing other people’s business makes her feel like they’re in it together. Lisa is looking forward to it too and thinks it will be interesting. But tonight, Simone has planned something a little different. This time they aren’t going to be paired with their spouses. Simone is repairing them with other spouses so they can re-pair that marriage. See how that works? No? Me either.
Up first is Heavenly and Jackie’s husband, Curtis. They go to the center of the circle and have calm and pleasant discussion about letting Heavenly do whatever she wants to do because you knew dat about her when you married her. Next up is Lisa and Dr. Aydin. Lisa believes her man is a good man who doesn’t cheat anymore. They sit down and Lisa explains about transparency and trust. Dr. Aydin, keeping with the car analogy, says that trust and transparency are a two-way street. Nice shawl, by the way, Dr. Aydin.
Lisa agrees that she needs to work on these issues. The camera is panning back and forth between her and Darren who is trying with all his might not to role his eyes. In a separate interview, Darren explains that God has chosen Lisa for him and they will soon be on the mountain because they’ve already been through the valley. Thank you, Jesus! Can I get an amen?!