Hello, kittens. This week on The Real Housewives of Orange County we were treated to name calling, theme parties, and emergency trips to the bathroom for a quick change of clothes due to untimely blood stains. It was like high school all over again!
But it was a troubling episode for our OG of the OC, Vicki Gunvalson.
“I’m sad and sorry that I lost my temper, yelled at Meghan and left early. I don’t like yelling, I don’t like being sad, and I don’t like conflict.” Adding, “I am so glad that Shannon was with me while we were trying to talk to Meghan, however we weren’t getting anywhere. It was like we were talking to a child saying “we aren’t playing in this playground anymore” and she just wasn’t going to listen to either one of us.”
If you don’t like conflict, you’re on the wrong show, sister. And what went through Vicki’s mind when Meghan called her an old woman?
“When Meghan called me ‘old’ at the lunch table, I was shocked. I am 53 years old, and I believe with age comes wisdom, knowledge, and a lot of life lessons…There is zero respect with her and I have to believe there is much more behind her disrespectful behavior than we know about.”
Okay, I don’t want to do this—at all—but Vicki forced me to this place. I’m going to have to defend Meghan for like, two seconds. Straight up, I don’t care for Meghan. She’s added nothing positive to the show this year, however, Vicki can throw shitballs like an all-star pitcher, but when it gets hurled back in her direction she calls foul.
Because of Meghan’s age, maturity level, and the fact that she’s the new girl, Vicki has given her opinion quite freely on Meghan’s step-parenting skills and her status as a gold-digging third wife. But when Meghan butts into Vicki’s biz, it’s game on, bitches. Vicki always gives better than she gets, so I have a hard time giving her a pass at playing the victim. She’s even “hurt” that Meghan hated on her sex party outfit.
“…hearing Meghan in her interview call me a “bitch” and flip me off because I didn’t wear hooker clothes was shocking. Again, Meghan is just being mean towards me and quite frankly I’m tired of it.”
All right, let’s get the sex party over with. The sooner we talk about the trauma of seeing David swinging on the hoop, Dr. Terry wearing a collar, and hearing Lizzie tell Tamra to pee through her lacy cat suit the faster the healing can begin. Last night’s faux debauchery (fauxbauchery?) featured dildos, anal beads and a Nyotaimori model (that’s the naked chick covered with sushi), but our Vicki kept it classy and she explains why.
“When Tamra called to tell me she was going to have a “sex party,” she told me to wear something “sexy.” Remember I had already left the luncheon when she announced the “theme’s” party attire. She called me afterwards to tell me to wear something lacy and sexy, which I did. Tamra did not tell me that the ladies were buying wigs and dressing like they did.”
T hen came that fight—the one with Meghan and Jim vs. Vicki. Sorry kids, but I will always bet on Vicki in a fight. If nothing else, her screech factor will make her opponent’s ears bleed, thus giving her an edge. And so it was with the Brooks/cancer saga.
“When I had the conversation with Jim at Tamra’s party about Meghan staying out of Brooks’ health business, over and over he reconfirmed to me that “Meghan did not say he doesn’t have cancer”…so then why is she continuing to talk to me about this?”
And what about Jim’s claim that he would whip out his ex-wife’s medical chart, a la Aviva Drescher and her lung x-ray?
“I was shocked when Jim said he would march into his ex-wife’s doctor’s office and demand to see her medical records if anyone questioned her illness. Hasn’t he heard of HIPAA? …That was such a crazy comment he said because it’s not an option.”
Meghan does seem obsessed with Brooks’ cancer treatment. Even on the ride home, sitting beside an angry Jim Edmonds, she’s still carrying on. Vicki’s opinion?
“Meghan saying “you know me and I want justice” to Jim in the car was laughable. What justice does she want? Justice for what?? She is overstepping her boundaries and I’ve had it…enough is enough.”
Look, I’m not a doctor. I don’t know what Brooks has or doesn’t have, but from the tone of this blog, the last year has taken its toll on Vicki. From her mom to taking care of Brooks, she sounds exhausted.
“What you don’t see are the night sweats, the high fevers, and the vomiting after his chemo treatments. What you don’t see is how sick he was earlier this year from doing chemo.”
Ultimately, I’m backing Vicki. She’s not always perfect and she likes to pick on the new ladies a little too much, but I find there’s something likable about her. For instance, when she tells the sushi girl that her mother wouldn’t be proud she’s allowing strangers eat raw fish off her body, that perhaps she should go back to school and make something of herself, I have a feeling Vicki is sincere. In fact, that was my favorite moment of the night.
So what do you think? Is Vicki over the top when it comes to defending Brooks? And who chuckled at her mean-spirited dig at Jim and his marriage? *shamefully raising hand*