Hello, kittens! Part two of The Real Housewives of New York reunion started where we left off last week, beating the Adam/Carole mashup like a dead horse. But this week, Luann De Lesseps’ blog is, dare I say cooler, than last weeks’. Once Carole admitted that she wouldn’t have started boning Adam if she knew how the entire De Lesseps clan would take it as a personal affront, the Countess calmed down.
“…Carole admits had she known how upset my niece was at the time, she would have thought twice about dating my niece’s ex-boyfriend. In retrospect, I should have been more vocal about what was happening, because as a result, my niece was very upset with me.”
Niece Nicole might have been upset that Luann kept bringing her up every five minutes. Since Nicole is a grown woman, I’m not sure she needs the Countess fighting her battles.
Next, Luann discusses John, Dorinda’s attention seeking affectionate boyfriend. Every time they replayed the scene where John danced with Kristen, then reached around for a snatch grab, I shuddered all over again. John was more than a little inappropriate. If he pulls that kind of thing with Dorinda standing right there, it makes me wonder what he does behind her back.
But according to Luann:
“…some of the girls had a problem with John’s personal space issues, including him “copping a feel” whenever he had the opportunity. Yet, as the season progressed, and we got to know him better, our affection for him grew.”
I guess he took on the role of lovable old John, the serial groper. Lu remains philosophical about it all. “Ultimately, it’s Dorinda’s relationship, and if she doesn’t care what we think, all the better for her.”
Speaking of Dorinda, we must discuss the storm in a dirty martini glass adorably referred to as the F*ck You Dinner. Remember, when the rest of the Housewives laid into Heather for using the dreaded f-bomb, while coyly pretending they’d never utter such a phrase?
“The FU dinner came up, and as you can see, Heather can be opinionated while Dorinda tends to be more open-minded. That night, Dorinda mixed exhaustion with martinis and her “sensitive” side emerged!”
If by “sensitive” the Countess means “sloppy drunk” than, yes, we got to see that delightful side of Dorinda. And Heather’s not the only opinionated Housewife. As I recall, Luann tried to school Heather, saying she’d never spout such un-Countess-like profanities around her own daughter. Is this the same daughter who got kicked out of boarding school? Just asking.
Now we turn to the mating habits of a Housewife. Eric, the young (and I do mean young—so stop throwing stones, Countess) man who escorted Luann to the restroom is her “friend” though Ramona claimed he was gay (actually, she called him a walker???). But I don’t think so. Especially since Luann says this,
“Eric and I see each other on occasion, but since the show aired, he’s moved out of New York City. I know that it would have been much more scandalous had I taken Eric into the restroom, but he was simply being a gentleman by escorting me through the crowd.”
The naughtier side of my nature still believes Luann took Eric to the bathroom for a little handygram. But since she’s not boinking and telling, I guess we’ll never know for sure. Le sigh.
When it comes to Ramona, Luann claims she never liked Mario. Like, never ever to infinity. And the Countess finds Ramona more relatable sans her cheating dirtbag of an ex.
“…I’ve seen positive changes in her since her breakup. Will she ever admit to filching a couple of dresses…NO! Is she sincere every time she apologizes…nope. Is she more sensitive and authentic…YES…”
Of course, no blog would be complete without Luann reminding us that she has an iTunes song out there. While I may have had a weak moment and downloaded Tardy for the Party, I will not be buying Girl Code. That is my solemn promise to you, gentle reader.
So, what do we think really went on with young Eric? Was he shagorific or simply a gentleman?