On tonight’s episode of “Married to Medicine” we learn once again that Quad is incapable of having a normal conversation without preaching. She speaks with such intense conviction that if this canine couture thing doesn’t work out, Quad should consider ministry. Just kidding! That’s a terrible idea.
Dr. Gregory is making turkey burgers so that he won’t become a chubby hubby. Quad is pleased with her sales numbers, and though she won’t discuss it out loud, she will discuss Dr. Darren’s homosexual dalliances and “putting his pole where it don’t belong.” Dr. Gregory, the psychiatrist, reminds his wife that just because someone says it, doesn’t make it true. Can I get an amen?
Over at Lisa Nicole’s store, she has fired everyone. Not an over reaction at all. Never mind that new people will sell you out, too, girl. Heavenly stops by with Alaura because Alaura wants to be a fashion designer for like the past ten minutes and Heavenly wants Lisa to make it work. After Heavenly leaves to shopping, the first thing Alaura wants to know is will she get paid. She wants $30 per hour. In the background, you can see Lisa’s new manager start to choke. She wants $30 per hour, too. If only she had the savvy negotiating skills of this child.
Did you know Toya’s nickname is “The Quiet Storm?” Are you wondering, like me, which part is quiet? Toya and her husband, Dr. Eugene, are conversing about their ambush concierge service at Jill’s house. Toya wants a brick and mortar place so the people can come to her for their hangover cures. Dr. Eugene points out that Toya has a problem with follow-through. When he says they shouldn’t work together, Toya storms off, following through to the other room.
Back at fashion headquarters, Alaura is describing to Lisa the dress she’d like to see her mother in. It’s silver and leather and long and should sell for around $2K. Lisa asks Alaura if she wants her mother to be sexy. Really, Lisa? She’s nine years old. She just wants her mom to be pretty. When Heavenly returns she places an order for Lisa to make the dress from Alaura’s sketch for her upcoming dating app launch party.
Dr. Simone consults patient, Kalah, who is brave enough to go on camera after finding three lumps in her breasts. Is it wrong that I want to get rid of her nose ring? It’s sooo distracting. Simone orders a mammogram, and spoiler alert, the news is good. Kalah’s cysts are benign! Don’t forget your monthly breast exams, ladies. Okay, the PSA is now over.
Lisa and her family are at the dinner table pretending to be a happy family eating BBQ and corn-on-the-cobb. Lisa asks the kids to leave so that mommy and daddy may have grown up talk. Lisa tells Darren that Jackie is having an event and she wants to go, but Quad will be there. Lisa is tired of Quad’s lies about Darren. First it was the illegitimate children, then the affairs, now an affair with a man. Wait. Lisa knows about that? Why are we the last ones to know she knows? Evidently the gossip travels faster than Bravo cameras. Lisa promises Darren she won’t lose her cool.
Back with Toya and Eugene, she is upset that he doesn’t take her seriously. She’s more than a pretty face, but Eugene just wants his wife and baby mama back, not a business partner. Toya thinks they need to get their butts to church and pray over this. They argue over whose idea it was for Toya to quit working and stay home with the kids. Eugene promises it wasn’t his idea that Toya quit, and I believe him.
We’re back at Lisa’s store for a mini-episode of “Say Yes to the Dress” renamed “Say No to the Ho.” Heavenly and Alaura show up to see the dress that Lisa takes no credit for. When Alaura sees the dress her face crumbles. She’s disappointed, and I don’t blame her, the dress is neither silver nor leather, though it is long. It’s brownish with a busy swirling pattern and a low-cut front. It’s the kind of dress that would get you kicked off Project Runway, know what I’m saying? But Heavenly is so proud of Alaura, we’ll just let her have this moment.
Dr. Jackie and her trainer Al are setting up for the “Fit Is the New It” event. They are having a workout of the mind with a hypnotist. Jackie’s patients begin to arrive. Then Toya, Jill, Quad, Heavenly, Simone and Cecil, and Lisa and Darren. No one is really taking it seriously, they’re just happy to see the recliners instead of exercise equipment. The hypnotist counts them down and tells them they are getting very, very thirsty. And no longer want junk food. They wake up and start clucking like chickens…I wish!
Lisa, who promised not to lose her cool, didn’t promise she wouldn’t be a shit-stirrer. She goes over to Toya and Jill and fills them in on the latest gossip involving her husband, set up by Quad. When Toya tries to take the spoon to stir the pot, Quad is having none of it. She says it’s over, it’s done, the fat lady has sung, the fire is out, various stuff like that so no one else can get a word in edgewise. According to the people Lisa fired, Quad and this random guy who claims he slept with Darren, are friends. Quad denies this.
When Darren tries to speak up, Quad tells him to stay out of it, this doesn’t involve him. Hand to God, I’m not making it up, she really said that. Finally, Darren is permitted to speak. He explains that in his world, this is not an option. He’s a warrior and warriors aren’t gay, y’all. It’s written in the warrior manual: Must not be gay. So there you go.
Jackie is upset because her friends obviously don’t support her if they’re going to act a fool. Jackie tells Lisa that the more she brings this stuff up, the more she disrespects her husband. Quad apologizes as well. And Jackie tells her this wasn’t the time or the place for that nonsense.
Tune in next week when Heavenly throws a launch party for her dating app Piq and we learn if it’s pronounced, pick, peek or pig.