Before we dig into Luann de Lesseps’ take on The Real Housewives of New York reunion, let’s address her wardrobe choices, shall we? Oh, let’s. What is that foil-covered chocolate Easter egg of a dress she’s wearing? Furthermore, why? I look to her blog for clues.
“…I wore a Countess Collection dress that I designed for this occasion.”
Ah. This explains so much, no? All the pieces are now falling into place. In the words of Nina Garcia, judge of Project Runway, “I question her taste level.”
Luann starts her blog this week by trying to ’splain her messy behavior this year.
“It’s reunion time, and we are on the couch with Andy working through the issues that emerged this season.”
Oh, Countess. We all agree you need to be on a couch working through your issues, but I’m not sure how much help Andy can give you.
Luann goes on to discuss the whole “let’s take Bethenny down and beat her like a Skinny Girl piñata full of protein bars” comment that she allegedly made.
“…I didn’t remember saying this, but if I did, it was as a joke, and I own it.”
Now, I can get past Luann’s pretentiousness and the statement necklaces, but when she claims to “own it” while basically denying she ever said it, it drives me batty. Why, for the love of Cindy Barshop’s vadge bling, can’t she ever admit to making a bitchy comment with no qualifiers?
And speaking of hoohas, Luann dishes on Sonja.
“I don’t mind being Sonja’s snatch guard but we love and worry about her. She seems to be doing a lot better now since we stopped filming, and I’m so glad she resolved her lawsuit and can finally move on with her life.”
I hope that’s true. I think we were all worried about Sonja this season.
Next, we get Luann’s view on friendship.
“I like to build my girlfriends up, not break them down…”
Will you please excuse me for a minute?
All right, I’m back. I can’t laugh my ass off and type at the same time. I’m just not that coordinated.
Now it’s time for our favorite game: pick a reason why Luann is angry about Carole getting a little sumpin’ sumpin’ from Chef Adam. Let’s spin the excuse wheel and see what turns up. Is it that Adam and his barely legal man bits are too young for Carole? Is it because he’s the hired help and exists only to serve the Countess eggs à la Francaise? Not this time.
“My issue is not with their age difference but that she didn’t consider my or my niece’s feelings when she began dating Adam (practically living together…her words not mine).”
Luann couldn’t use the “too young” excuse again anyway. After all, she admitted to hooking up with Eric, the hot houseboy from the Turks. But now she’s backing off that.
“As for my flirtation with Eric, that’s exactly what it was and my having a bit of fun didn’t hurt anyone… Did I go skinny dipping with the houseboy? Yes, I did, but that’s as far as it went.”
But this zinger was my favorite line of Luann’s entire blog: “What happens in Turks and Caicos should stay in Turks and Caicos! #GirlCode”
That would totally hold water if she wasn’t broadcasting her life on a reality TV show. So what do you think? Did Luann have a messy year or am I being too hard on her? And what is the real reason she’s so peeved that Adam and Carole are together?