RECAP: Real Housewives of New York “Bombs, Fashion, and a Confrontation” [Episode 18]

On this week’s episode of The Real Housewives of New York we finally get to see Sonja’s collection of international affordable luxury clothing. I have to say, it was worth the wait. I would wear nearly every piece, maybe not the red top she was wearing during the fashion show, but we’ll talk about that later.

We begin with breaking news – Heather greeted Carole at a bar and didn’t say, “What’s up, Mama.” Instead, she rolled out a new greeting, and after replaying it three times, I believe she said, “What’s up, Suga Bean.” Sigh.

Carole regales the tales of her trip to London with Dorinda, whom she now fondly calls Doris. The two were simpatico when they shared widow-war stories and smuggled the urn through customs. They were caught, but only for hand lotion. Carole tells Heather she is now complete. Heather tells Carole about the red dress party and how Ramona was acting like a fool, being her typical unfiltered, rude woman on a hot-guy search. Carole thinks (and I think we can all agree) Ramona needs to get laid.

Over at the temporary offices of Sonja Morgan Brands, Bethenny arrives to meet with Sonja and three of her team members. They inform Bethenny she will be assisting in selecting the models, something Bethenny knows nothing about. Heather arrives and she too is confused they’re not looking at the actual clothing today. Sonja explains what she wants in a model: someone traditional, not heritage, but not Versace, more Like Ralph Lauren, and not like a submarine, more like a Ferrari. Crystal clear?

After rejecting two girls for being too skinny, Bethenny and Heather advice Sonja not to comment on the girls’ physique in front of them, just say thanks and we’ll be in touch. An argument starts because Sonja is insulted and goes after Heather, leaving out Bethenny, that she will say whatever she damn pleases, thank you very much. Heather says something like, “Suga-Mama-Bean, if I’m not helpful, I can leave.” But she doesn’t. Then Heather asks a simple question about where the SMB collection will hang in the stores, but unfortunately this couldn’t be answered by Sonja’s team member, even with the help of subtitles.

When Ramona and Dorinda meet for drinks at a restaurant, I notice Ramona’s eyes are red and it looks as if she’s been crying. Ramona rambles on about some chicken plate dinner that was great and meeting the restaurant’s owner. Dorinda babbles about London and how much better she likes Carole when Heather’s not around. Then Ramona announces what was probably making her brown eyes blue: her decision to move forward with the divorce from Mario. (Enter theme song to Rocky.) Feeling stronger, Ramona hits on the much younger waiter/actor and restores her true faith.

Kristen has a pretty good gig for her new nail polish line, “Pop of Color” at the Eli Tahari fashion show. Carole and Heather show up to give their support, but none of the other ladies do, and truth be told, the Tahari clothes are so amazing you really didn’t notice the models’ fingernails. The trio leaves and head over to the Carriage House Center (not Lincoln Center-they point out) for Sonja’s show. And boy is she stressed. Sonja has to do everything herself because her interns and hairstylists aren’t paid towing the line. During this, Sonja is pointing and calling out directions, I’m so worried that one or both of her boobs are going to pop out of her extremely wide-cut red top. It’s gorgeous, but not one to wear when moving around so much.

The guests are arriving. Carson Kressley is there, but apparently no buyers have shown up. Sonja is running late and even though there’s a bar, people are getting antsy. A dispute breaks out backstage between Sonja and her hairstylists because there are NO CHINGONS! Sonja declares it’s better to go out late, than looking bad, though I’m sure it’s possible to do both. Finally the show begins and the first set of models look elegant as they descend the circular staircase and walk the runway. They other ladies are very impressed with Sonja’s line. If only there wasn’t the intermission between the first and second set but…

A quarrel begins between Bethenny and Ramona while they wait. Bethenny calls Ramona out for telling Heather she cheated on her first husband when she didn’t cheat. Ramona explains that she didn’t tell Heather that Bethenny cheated, just that Bethenny had an affair, you see. Bethenny suggests Ramona change the name of her New Beginnings party to Old Habits party because she hasn’t changed at all. And by the way, Ramona, give back the two dresses you stole took or pay for them.

Ramona doesn’t want to talk about any of this because she has no defense. Very Shakespearean, instead she offers her wrists to Bethenny so she may slit them. Bethenny, unable to find a knife, tells Ramona she can’t say whatever she wants and then apologize the next day. Ramona claims that she is who she is and Bethenny is who Bethenny is and don’t throw stones at glass houses. Wherefore art thou’s reasoning, Ramona?

Backstage, the hairstylist is preparing the chignon. We can all breathe now. 

Out front, Ramona tells Bethenny she will change the name of her party from New Beginnings party to New Life party, like that makes a damn bit of difference. Bottom line from Bethenny: It’s rude to tell the bartender you wouldn’t date him because he’s a bartender right to the bartender’s face.

The second set of models come out and look as stunning as the first. All the housewives are excited for Sonja. Tune in next week for the season finale at Ramona’s party to celebrate something new!

 

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