This week’s episode of the “Real Housewives of New York” also referred to as “A Tale of Two Cities,” was poignant without being overly staged. Loss, reflection and healing, are accomplished by Carole and Dorinda in London, but back in New York City, someone else is struggling with these three stages—the Ramonacoaster!
We begin in London with Carole and Dorinda checking out the flat that Carole is staying at. Bigger than her apartment back in NYC. Dorinda was worried that old memories would stream back, but instead, she is happy to be in London. It’s been three years.
It’s time for Carole to get dressed and go to the church to pick up the urn. Dorinda isn’t going with her, and I’m wondering why Carole invited her if not for that. She meets Father Darius and goes into the quiet, meek church to have a talk. The Father explains that the other church Carole stuck placed her husband’s urn at 15 years ago was deconsecrated by the Bishop. That’s how this church came to be with it. When Carole sees the urn, she remembers it as being skinnier and taller. I hope to be remembered that way myself.
Interesting story about Carole and Anthony, they knew of his cancer diagnosis at the time of their wedding, young and in love, they figured they could fight it. Carole tells Father Darius that she wants one more day with Anthony. He explains that today is that day – spiritually. On the way home, Carole puts on her headphones and listens to music, unsure what to do with herself. She hasn’t cried, yet, until she places the urn on the nightstand, lies on her bed, and reflects on a life that might have been. Finally the tears come.
Double-trouble Ramona and Sonja are getting together at Sonja’s place. It’s time for a lesson in one-night stand etiquette. Oh, goody! Sonja, our naughty teacher, says the rules have changed. For instance, when in the Turks & Caicos, or any beach, you don’t have sex in the house, you have sex on the beach. According to Sonja, that’s why the drink was invented. Ramona denies making out with the guy and says she just put the guy to bed and Luann was the one making out on the couch with his friend. Ramona was only the wing-lady. Suddenly, there are two young, hot guys in tuxes at the door with wine, roses, chocolates, and an invitation to Bethenny’s party. I want my mail delivered this way.
Back over the pond, Dorinda arrives at Carole’s flat to drink wine and hear about the church trip. Carole confesses the church was not the church of her dreams over tea and sandwiches with the crusts cut off. They share nice stories of their husbands and talk about the guilt they felt after they passed. For both Carole and Dorinda, the end had not been harps and angels like they thought it would, but matter of fact and uneventful.
Their talk at the flat is cathartic, but so is gossiping about Luann while they shop for clothes. They think Luann is turning into The Countess of Hypocrisy and she needs to get over that Carole is dating her niece’s ex-boyfriend and “barging” into other people’s hotel rooms. Carole puts on a hot pink oversized sweater and everyone lies and tells her it looks great.
Now for Bethenny’s Skinny Girl product placement party. I hope Bravo is taking a cut from her two new alcoholic beverages: pinot noir and spicy lime margarita. Bethenny warns her assistants to watch out for Rabid Ramona and wonders if it’s too late to build a wrestling mud pit for the ladies to fight over the onslaught of good looking men coming their way.
“The Real Housewives of London” are having a cocktail party. Dorinda and Carole have each invited friends from their past to come to a bevvy for a bloody good time. Funny story. Dorinda’s friend tells her that when she first started dating John, Dorinda referred to him as the fat, rich Armenian. That’s way better than snookums or bear-bear. Before Richard died, he told Dorinda that he didn’t want her to meet anyone else. And maybe that’s why Dorinda stays with John, she’s not in danger of loving him more than Richard.
We return to Bethenny’s party and it’s obvious that all of the women have received the “Wear Red Memo.” Bethenny warmly greets Kristen but that’s because she’s the first housewife to arrive. The rest are late. When Heather arrives, she says, “What’s cookin’ Mama,” to Bethenny. Couldn’t she have at least said, “What’s shaking, Mama” since that’s how they were making the margaritas? Sigh.
Ramona arrives and immediately wants to know where all the hot men are. Immediately. Now. Bethenny announces that “Ramona has a bounty on her vagina.” Don’t know what the price is, but Ramona has a specific wish list. They must be in their 50’s; established; with kids in college; and financially support themselves. The trade-off? Ramona wants to take care of them in other ways. Visualize that, people.
Bethenny continues to act as Ramona’s pimp, introducing her to men, only to be rejected because they’re a bartender or Sonja young. Ramona leaves, because what’s the point of being there if their aren’t any good men, just as Luann and Sonja arrive. She went out the backdoor just as they came in the front door – I mean what are the odds. Well, too bad, so sad, because Sonja is there to dance on the tables and break a tooth ripping a guy’s shirt with her mouth. Bethenny is so excited her boob pops out and she’s pees herself. Way to keep it classy, ladies!