“The Real Housewives of Orange County“ begins this week with Heather meeting with her favorite cake artist Diane. Diane is taking on a new DuBrow cake project, for a launch party celebrating their latest passionate venture, a sparkling wine named ‘Colette.’ The drink is named after their youngest darling, because evidently she is the only child who can shriek in a french accent. Diane gasps at the ravishing beauty of the bottle design as we are hear, through a blast from Colette’s pipes, that the girls are all headed to Napa to cheers the newest hawked-by-Bravo endeavor.
We then find ourselves back in the extreme awkwardness of Shannon and David’s couple’s therapy retreat. We are warned that this will be a heavy session where no one’s feelings will be validated, which makes me yearn for Colette’s screaming. Shannon lets us know that if you live in Orange County, your chances of staying married are next to nothing, but she is determined to beat the dismal zip coded odds. We sit through an uncomfortable exercise, where the couple plops down in conference room graves, and listens to each other read their own eulogies. I get the point, but it is too personal, as is this whole storyline. David whimpers, Shannon kisses his corpse, and the affair appears to be more than forgiven.
Shannon seems to believe that she deserved to be cheated on, and describes David as “more of a husband than I could ever imagine,” because after all, he still has a pulse. We hear how the children learned of David’s infidelity, and it is painful. The therapist reminds them that it may take two years to get over the betrayal, and Shannon comes across as needy and anxious. I feel sad for this family.
In a blessedly lighter scene, Tamra and Heather are meeting for juice, and to chat about the first gals’ trip of the season. Tamra reminds us that she hates Lizzie, and pretty much everyone else, which is making her feel weepy. She has had so much dramatic “stuff” in her life that she almost couldn’t manage her yearly boob job, which has put her in a defeated funk. Tamra has “lost herself,” and Heather is concerned.
Jim and Meghan are furniture shopping, because the third wife ALWAYS gets stuck with the lame, hand-me-down decor. Jim seems peeved that another ball and chain is dragging him through this dreck, but Meghan insists that this #3 will not be denied the joy of loading up on her own knick knacks with her new hubby. Meghan remarks that it would be far too optimistic to count on their four month old marriage succeeding, making this early shopping haul extra crucial. They chat about their long distance schedules, and Meghan shares that she is worried about them being apart. Jim looks unfazed, and tries to muster a personalized look of sympathy, but fails.
The Beadors arrive home from their faux funerals, and they sit down to talk with their daughters. David asks the girls for forgiveness, and the girls smile sweetly, and hug their dad in response. The girls are simply darling, and the family optimistically agrees to move forward.
We hop over to Tamra’s, where she and Eddie are cooking dinner. Tamra shares the news about the Napa trip invite, and Eddie agrees to back off his gym obsession for a weekend, and attend. The surprises continue, when Vicki calls from Mexico. Vicki misses Tamra, because getting blasted and gyrating on bars just isn’t the same with Brooks. Vicki invites Tamra to a fiesta that she’s throwing, and they both promise to be nice, at least until Vicki sobers up.
Back in the OC, we join Vicki and Brooks preparing for their Mexican party. Heather and Terry greet Jimmy and Meghan at their home, before leaving for Vicki’s house. Heather comments that this is a great opportunity to test-run the Housewife chemistry, but Meghan is nervous about the evening. Over at the Beadors, Shannon has David scurrying around on glass, as they get ready to go. Back at Vicki’s, her garden looks lovely, and the guests begin to arrive. We get our first glimpse of demoted housewife Lizzie, as we flash back to a reunion tussle she had with Tamra.
Tamra and Eddie arrive, and Tamra is immediately annoyed that Brooks has the audacity to answer the door. She and Vicki awkwardly greet each other, and the energy is weird. Heather lets us know that she has invited Katie, her future neighbor and wife of pro baseball player, Josh Hamilton, as we see the Beadors make their entrance. A slimmer Jeana makes an appearance, as Shannon reminds us about Tamra’s last season’s shady lying episodes. Shannon has definitely accepted Tamra’s apology, but needs some quality time to ignore her, to truly heal. Vicki and Lizzie gush over David and Shannon’s adorable love-aura, as the couple stiffly smiles uncomfortably in response.
The Dubrows and their guests arrive, and Bravo flashes back to the tipsy hoedown moment between David and Meghan. The Beadors and the Edmonds exchange awkward greetings, and all is well.
During dinner, the conversation ricochets from church date nights to dirty sex, and Tamra is strangely confused that she is relating to dirty Lizzie over sterilized Shannon…not sure why such a no-brainer would come as a shock. Shannon is a ball of stress, worried about anything and everything, and David tries to patiently appease her anxious hand wringing.
Vicki breaks out the piñata, and the women stumble around the grass in their stilettos, until Meghan succeeds in busting open the prizes.
Shannon takes in the festivities, clenched and grimacing under her sombrero. Thank goodness for the little bottles of hooch scrounged off the lawn! A cozy group shot of tequila means a new beginning, but not so fast…because Tamra immediately begins snarking about Shannon, and Shannon challenges the hand-holding love-fest between Vicki and Tamra. Vicki will never forget Tamra’s Brooks dissing, but now she is all about peace, and moving on. After the guests leave, Vicki and Tamra sit down to kick off round 10 of their friendship, and immediately disagree on who screwed up the gig last season. The episode wraps with the two agreeing that they have back-stabbing in common, and freshly determine to have each other’s backs. Here we go!
We are going to Napa next week, so pack your bags!