The “Shahs of Sunset” Reunion Part 2 opens with a real shocker — MJ and Charlie are no longer together! Can you imagine MJ not picking the right guy to be with? It’s downright unbelievable, ain’t it? Reza called it with his impression of MJ‘s mother: “No hair, dog walker, no money. Go home!” Anyway, MJ still persists she wants to be a mother, though hasn’t that ship sailed, or do a lot of 42 year-olds successfully get pregnant and carry a baby to term?
GG, on the other hand, talks about Danny, “the nice guy,” but she’s got another guy, and she and Danny “service each other.” Andy wastes time reading GG‘s memes from Instagram that make about as much sense as she does in full sentences.
“Mike, stop texting.” Poor Andy! How many times will he have to say that again during this episode?
Asifa gets it next with the relationship talk, and she cries, and apologizes to everyone. They take a break to get Bobby out so everyone can vote him off the island. The producers had to fill the time in between Asa eating, Reza eating, MJ eating, and so we can only suppose this is why the oh-so-boring Asifa/Bobby train wreck had to be included. Bobby says, “I don’t think our problems are a two-way problem . . . I think she needs an exorcist,” and this is the sentence that any self-respecting woman would hear and keep hearing until she was at least a restraining order away. He then throws some salt on the wound on in front of the small part of the nation that watches this crap: “I love her, but I’m not in love with her. I can only take so much.” Yes, kids, they’re still together. Andy says, “I think you two should break up today.” He then takes a poll and no one raises their hand to affirm they should be together. Bobby then says the only reason they’re still together is that she won’t move out. Andy wishes him luck, and off he goes.
On to Asa and her “art” and how it put her on the DHS watch list. Well, gee, posing with guns and stuff, seems like a no brainer. One can only hope she carries her art too far. The discussion goes no where mostly because it’s time to feed these hungry, hungry hippos.
When they return, the unlikely voice of reason is Mike. He goes to Asifa‘s trailer and tells her to break up because at some point she’s going to be too old to get a new man. A little bit later, the producer comes over to Andy and tells her that Jessica won’t come out of the trailer because Mike spoke to her, too. Andy goes to her trailer and says it’s Mike‘s fault, and that he doesn’t want her to come out. “I do still have strong, strong feelings for GG,” says Jessica. “I feel like she wanted attention on her.” Andy fails at getting her to come out of the trailer. Then Mike goes into the trailer. He warns her again. She’s all ready to change into her street clothes to get in the car and go home because, hey, you wouldn’t want to be all dressed up in a limo, would you?
When they come back from break, Andy brings up Jessica, and tells everyone she “won’t be coming out because Mike did not want her to join us.” GG laughs. She wants to know why he doesn’t her to join them and he says he doesn’t want to attack her. Andy reads the litany of what Jessica has said about them all. Then, GG says my favorite line of the whole season — not because it makes sense, just because it’s funny — “Beep, beep! The road runner beeps and keeps running!”
As they fight about Jessica some more, it comes out that Reza attended the wedding, and gave them a $500 check. Jessica tweeted about said check telling him she’s sending it back so he can wipe his ass with it, but Reza tweeted back that he can’t because she already cashed it! Mike takes responsibility by saying he made the mistake of complaining about his friends to his wife. So, he’s got that going for him.
Andy indulges MJ‘s stupidity about her freakin’ dog. I tuned out and went to my happy place during this nonsense.
The coda: Everyone has to say if they’ll stay friends. They all go blah, blah, blah. Mike feels like he’s alone and only has Jessica. He says he’s not going to give up on this. Reza says, “Our door is always open to you but you’ve never knocked.” Then they all swig some champagne.
Oh, but it’s not over till the skinny lady screeches! After commercials, the final minute shows GG out on the street, doing a banshee scream that is ear-piercing. Reza goes up to Mike and tells him to work with him on this. GG goes to Mike and invites him to come to dinner with them. He agrees, and the title card reads, “To be continued . . . Next season.”
Oh, joy. Bye, kids!
Wendy Owen is a freelance writer for All About The Tea.