Tonight’s episode of “The Real Housewives of New York” was the prelude to the Turks & Caicos trip. Tons of airtime was spent dedicated to this topic, beginning with Sonja’s announcement at Bethenny’s cupcake decorating party that she is about to pay off her judgment, so why not celebrate by spending Bravo’s money in the T&C. Dorinda tells us it’s a cross between the Bahamas and Miami. Sounds like Scary Island Part 2 is coming to a television set near you next week!
In the meantime, Kristen and Luann shop for shoes but it’s just a ploy to discuss Bethenny’s snubbing of Kristen at the AOA party. Luann mentions Kirsten’s bad timing and recommends that she let the squirrel come to her. Kristen is over this topic (not really) and would rather photograph her feet in different pairs shoes (really).
Carole and Bethenny meet for drinks. Carole is very proud of her sweater that spells TROUBLE she recently purchased from her new fav store, Forever 21. Which is slightly pathetic until Bethenny name-drops that she used to shop there with Paris and Nicky, then it’s not pathetic at all.
After a terrible intro, Carole tells Bethenny about a sex dream she had about her. Keep in mind, Carole never has sex dreams, so thank goodness she had this one in time for this year’s pseudo-lesbian storyline. Bethenny asks if they went “Downtown Julie Brown” and Carole says they did not. Carole says the sex dream was a manifestation of Bethenny needing to chill out and loosen up. Actually, the definition of a female/female sex dream (according to the dream dictionary) is considered: A healing device intended to put the dreamer in close contact with her heart and feelings. In this case, Carole would be the one that needs the chilling out.
Moving on, Carole explains to Bethenny that she might have had something to do with the whole Kristen and Bethenny debacle at AOA. Carole might have insinuated that Bethenny said Kristen “was not smart” however we know Carole isn’t being honest with Bethenny. Carole specifically used the word: dumb when referring to Kristen. Carole, in her giddy, Forever 21-style, tells Bethenny she has two speeds: intense and crying. Bethenny decides she really likes Carole because she’s so honest.
Luann is having a fashion shoot for her new clothing line and she and Kristen are the models. Luann tells Kristen that they might have to change the T&C dates again for Bethenny. Kristen goes into pout-mode because she has two kids that she has to schedule, and after all, Bethenny only has one. Heather “Hey Mama’ shows up as well as Ramona and they discuss the changing dates. Heather is confused about the “visitation thing” with Bethenny because apparently Bethenny is the first person Heather has ever known to go through a divorce.
Bethenny shows up at the fashion shoot/maxi-pad commercial in her big fur hat and right away is asked about the dates of the trip by Kristen. Bethenny says nothing needs to be changed for her. She can only go for the first three days of the trip, and I have to say, what is the big freaking deal with these people? Bethenny can’t go the entire time. Sucks for her, now get over it. Kristen laments that Bethenny is always crying. Again, what is wrong with these people making me defend Bethenny. Bethenny cries to Luann saying she wants a normal life at some level. Good luck with this bunch!
Over at Sonja’s house she is packing for the trip. And Sonja needs the help of several interns and a stylist to accomplish this. She makes a remark about going on vacation with her rich, skinny friends, and then mentions, that Heather has lost some weight. That wasn’t a dig at all.
And now for the best scene that wasn’t. When Bethenny picks up Luann, Ramona, and Dorinda in a limo for an Italian dinner, we learn that Sonja was supposed to join them but has called in “her daughter as sick.” The real reason has to do with a hangover from the night before at The Boutique where Sonja was allegedly loose-lipped with all of the men. My question is: Where were the Bravo cameras?!
By the end of the evening, Dorinda said that Sonja was draped over John like a blanket. Dorinda isn’t mad at Sonja and won’t bother to tell Sonja because she won’t remember it anyway. Ouch! When asked which man was Sonja’s “date” the ladies laughed that everyman was Sonja’s. Again, ouch. The ladies are concerned about Sonja’s drinking, but don’t want to have an intervention. That would only scare Sonja away (and ruin their good time in T&C). They decide to assess the situation further when they are all on vacation – where people generally drink more. Poor Sonja is being set up to fail.
After nail time with Bethenny and Ramona, where toes before hoes is coined, the ladies gather to support Luann at a swanky hotel as she unveils her clothing line. Carson Kressly, star of ‘Queer Eye,’ shows up and hilarity ensues when the guests are asked to move the mannequins and body parts start flying.
Heather, Dorinda and Kristen are sitting on a couch when the Ramonacoaster pulls into the station. She refuses to hug Kristen because Ramona doesn’t want to catch a bug from her furry dress. Then, without warning, the Ramonacoaster flies off the rails and attacks Kristen for attacking Bethenny at the fashion shoot. Ramona has the audacity to tell Kristen she was rude for tearing into Bethenny right when she walked into the room, kind of what Ramona was doing to Kristen, but in reverse.
As usual, Ramona is not making sense. The royal blue dress has officially gone to her head and the wheels are flying off. When Heather calls her out, Ramona tries to put the coaster back on the tracks, but clearly it won’t fit. Kristen leaves the room proud that she was able to keep her glass in her hand and not toss it at Ramona.
Pack your bags! Girls’ trip to the Turks & Caicos! Bring your own cocktail and each time one of the ladies cries, take a shot.
I am so lucky to combine blogging with my guilty pleasure of watching reality TV. I read all the comments and respond to most. Feel free to reach out to me. If you like fiction, I have two published novels: Three Days in Purgatory and A Reason to Run.