We are still in the Berkshires and Heather and Bethenny are still going at it. Bethenny feels that Heather wants to be inside her, constantly checking her temperature. Bethenny tries to explain she doesn’t want the extra attention that Heather brings. After the tears, apologies are given and accepted, and they hug it out, though Bethenny and Heather continue to complain about each other and everyone has totally forgotten that this is Dorinda’s birthday party.
Best and worst toast of the night goes Countess Luann for announcing that when she first met Dorinda it was love at first sight. They shared not just a physical attraction but a chemical attraction as well. (Chemical? Was Luann eating Carole’s gummy-bears?) Luann tells John what a lucky guy he is, then proceeds to flub the rest of the toast about getting to know John thus far.
Not to be outshined, Ramona offers a toast to Dorinda and roast to Heather. With lovey-dovey eyes, Ramona tell Dorinda she loves her because she is genuine, and thanks to Dorinda, Ramona now loves the Berkshires! Bethenny, not wanting extra attention (cough, cough) makes a toast to Sonja for being the sanest one in the room. I don’t know where the real Sonja is, but I hope she returns next week.
After dinner the ladies split into two groups: Heather versus Bethenny so each may complain some more. Kristen, obviously on Team Heather, doesn’t understand what it means when people want to put up a wall. It means back the eff up, Kristen. It’s kind of straightforward. And not to be tacky, but Heather’s puffy, black dress makes her look like the scullery maid she was mocking.
Next, Avery returns from college and gives Ramona the kind of hug every mom wants from their kid. But Avery can’t go out to dinner because she has a paper due that night and tells Ramona not stress. And Ramona doesn’t. Instead they discuss the cute boy that distracted Avery from writing her paper.
Bethenny is having a Skinnygirl brand summit meeting with 25+ of her business associates and one very long table. Sonja has been invited to attend the airing of the grievances. If Sonja learns just one thing, then Bethenny will consider this a success. Sonja is impressed and grateful to Bethenny for including her. Bethenny on the other hand is not happy that no one has any success stories to share and there are no Skinnygirl products on the breakfast table.
Back over to Avery, as she unpacks, Ramona asks if her father has discussed trying to woo Ramona back. Avery, who has just recently started speaking to Mario again, says she doesn’t ask too many questions and would prefer to stay out of it, but gives Ramona the biggest gift of all…tells her to do whatever makes her happy. Avery says she’s old enough to handle whatever the outcome is, which is code for, Avery doesn’t want to be her mother’s bff. Ramona’s not sure if there’s enough room in her closet anymore for Mario, which is code for, she went shopping and took over the entire closet. Retail therapy!
Kristen has found a hobby! She’s getting into the nail polish business. Or rather, Josh is getting Kristen into the nail polish business with the trademarked name of “Pop of Color.” Carole is along for the meeting because she’s a writer and can come up with quirky color names. Problem is, Carole also wants to start a nail polish line, but unfortunately Kristen has beaten her to the lacquer. Being a good sport, Carole offers up her color name choices such as: ‘Thrust’ and Slide.’ Kristen, being a professional, acts like she’s throwing up. Kristen was thinking: Date Night, but what color is that? Carole has more to offer: Popsicle, Mr. Happy, Dangler, and One-Eyed Happy Snake. I’m thinking green for that last one.
Later that evening, Bethenny and Ramona meet for a steak dinner and Ramona is very disappointed there aren’t any attractive men at the restaurant. Four various martinis are ordered because Dorinda and Carole will be joining them. They all rehash the Berkshires and Heather. Bethenny wants Heather to get off her jock. Dorinda says that Heather likes to talk it out. And Carole explains that Heather is a problem solver. Can you believe this whole thing started over a meatball?
Ramona tells the ladies she’s having a party at AOA and inviting single men because she doesn’t want a party with all women. Bethenny speculates becoming a lesbian but says she won’t go “downtown” on them. Carole says that Sonja only speaks to her when Sonja’s drunk, and then Sonja wants to have sex with Carole. Bethenny suggests that Carole is in a lesbian phase. Ramona is confused and asks if that means she’s having 3-ways. Carole has a Freudian slip and tells Ramona that she could never “get” with her. Dorinda confesses to never having slept with a woman and a flustered Ramona announces she’s ready for her steak now.
The ladies gather on what looks like a bitterly cold evening wearing sleeveless and strapless tops at AOA. Ramona warns Bethenny that Heather’s eyes may say one thing, but her mouth says another. This party is very high school as the women break into separate cliques. Then Carole does the dumbest thing – she tells Kristen that Bethenny thinks Kristen is too dumb to get the trademark name for “Pop of Color.” Way to ruin Kristen’s mood, Carole!
Luann pops over and asks Bethenny about how she’s doing after dinner in the Berkshires. Bethenny calls out Luann for pretending to be nurturing when she’s actually only pushing Heather’s agenda. Luann explains that Heather is a fixer. Bethenny tells Luann not to deliver things in pretty packages when things aren’t pretty. As if on cue, Pretty, I mean, Kristen walks up and is quickly told to go sit in the corner for two minutes. After Luann and Bethenny work it out, Bethenny goes over to talk with Heather, but Kristen says it’s her turn.
Bethenny and Kristen go sit down. Kristen basically says, “Like, I’m passionate about my nail polish, and like, it’s great that you looked up my trademarked, Pop of Color, but like, why did you say I’m, like, too dumb?”
Bethenny is having none of this, gets up and walks away, ignoring Kristen’s shrill voice asking, “Like why are you leaving? Like, come back.” Bethenny goes over to Heather and apologizes for being so abrasive when a miracle occurs – Heather accepts Bethenny’s apology without trying to “problem solve,” “fix” or “talk out” the Kristen situation.
I am so lucky to combine blogging with my guilty pleasure of watching reality TV. I read all the comments and respond to most. Feel free to reach out to me. If you like fiction, I have two published novels: Three Days in Purgatory and A Reason to Run.