Back to the Hamptons for rest and relaxation! RIGHT. We’re back to watch it hit the fan, and those sneaky producers have turned the fan up full speed! Daisy is still upset at the lack of respect she feels Demetria and Melyssa showed as she answered Geneva’s questions about her battle with cancer (irony, Demetria, irony). Geneva is upset that Demetria has invited her new bestie, Melyssa to the “Munaluchi Bride” photo shoot, instead of her. I don’t get the matrix of madness that produced the Demetria – Melyssa friendship. Just before the trip, Demetria was still ride or die for Geneva – backing Melyssa down on comments about Geneva’s arrest. Demetria suddenly ripped the “true friend” crown from Geneva’s head and placed it on Melyssa’s. I feel like there must be days of footage on the cutting room floor that would make sense of how all of this happened.
Geneva spills to her mother, on the phone, while the other women are sitting around, listening in. In a TH she admits that she has never felt as antagonized by someone who is supposed to be her friend. As Demetria was pulling off for the shoot, someone commented “She can kiss my ass.” I couldn’t tell which of the two women made the comment and who the target was. Mica notes in a TH that if she doesn’t want Geneva there, then she’s not a friend. Geneva claims it is ok to not be there because it means one less gift for Demetria.
Demetria’s mother, Camille, arrives at the shoot. Geneva’s and Demetria’s mothers both seem like really kind and loving mothers. Demetria notes that her mother seems most excited over her wedding, even more than the degrees earned, books, and other accomplishments. She is trying to reconcile her mother’s feminism and her reaction to the wedding. I count that statement up there with the other odd statements she’s made. Melyssa proves, once again, that she is “the parent whisperer,” charming Demetria’s mother just as she did Arzo’s parents. Camille, brings up Demetria’s past interest in the law and says that her daughter would have made a great lawyer, she loves to argue. Mother knows best!
Back at camp, Arzo and Chantelle clear the air, when Chantelle decides there is too much tension. The women talk things out like adults, apologizing for the roles they have played (someone PLEASE show this segment to Porsha, the #RHOA “friend”). Admittedly, there were a couple of times when Arzo nearly derailed the discussion, but THIS is how adult women behave. No offense ladies, but I think those adorable dogs paved the way to getting the two of you talking. I hope the pups are getting play dates together.
The crew gets ready and heads to the apple picking event Melyssa planned for them. Demetria finds out while reading a text (I presume) that Geneva is upset. Who sent the message? Greg asks why she’s not there and Demetria tells him that it because he is there. It’s Demetria’s idea that she not be present. #truefriend. Geneva thinks Greg is being “bitch-ass.” Daisy thinks he’s stressed from planning a wedding. Demetria gets Greg to agree that an apology gets Geneva back on the invite list. I’m trying to figure out if taking Melyssa on the shoot (when she had her mother and fiance there) was an attempt to be aggressive or passive-aggressive toward Geneva. I hope it’s passive-aggressive because aggressive doesn’t work with Geneva who threatens to (gulp) “unleash a dragon,” as she’s talking to an unseen friend on the phone while in the car to go apple picking. Arzo thinks Geneva should be talking to Demetria instead of about her.
Demetria’s brown foods diet must be working for her. She glows in her photo shoot. She has either changed her mind and added fresh fruit and veggies to her diet, or the gowns are amazing at hiding traces of gout and scurvy! I kid, I kid! Ok, it’s the last time I deal with the brown foods comment…I hope. Demetria talks of how difficult it is to let go since she’s such a conservative person and Melyssa talks about how HARD modeling is because one’s insecurities end up being projected in pictures…cue gratuitous men’s mag modeling pics of Melyssa. Shame on you, Bravo editing monkeys. Shame on you. Ultimately, it is a good thing Melyssa is there. She gives Demetria great tips that loosen her up.
At the apple orchard, the women aren’t having as much fun. Mica comments that she doesn’t pick anything in a field, she’ll wait and buy it at the store. I think they’d give anything to turn the apple juice they’ve been given into wine. Daisy is upset that Melyssa, who has become distant from her, is with Demetria, who has never asked her about her health. When tearful Daisy brings up Melyssa and Demetria’s behavior, Geneva tries explain/excuse, setting off a bit of a debate between her and Chantelle – who believes that Geneva makes too many excuses for the woman who has disinvited her from her wedding. Arzo is perceived as making excuses for her as well. As this is going on, the photo shoot ends with the bride and groom, and it is a gorgeous picture.
As the women get ready for dinner that night, Mica, wearing a fashionable “Where’s Waldo?” outfit, silly dances with Daisy and lifts her spirits. Everyone looks wonderful. Will they behave during dinner? It is doubtful as Geneva asks about photo shoot and Demetria refers to ‘Mel” helping her. Talk turns to the wedding. Demetria reminds the group (most of whom are uninvited) that there are 55 guests. Geneva laughs that there are 54, now, and Demetria tells her that will work it out. Chantelle notes that she really liked Greg especially finding out that he is Jamaican. Then she felt singled out during the book launch and deserves an apology. FINALLY, Chantelle brings up the hypocrisy of the mistreatment of Daisy, but in a TH. Drat! Please let it be said in the group. When hearing that others were talking, as well, Demetria coldly states that everyone should have been thrown out.
Demetria turns the room temperature down, again, by talking over Chantelle, to ask “Mel’ what she ordered. Tension. Chantelle confronts her on being disrespectful. Demetria tells her she is not her girl and that she tolerates her because she is Geneva’s friend. She calls Chantelle desperate for attention. Chantelle counters by calling her a narcissist who doesn’t give a f–k about anyone else. The poor waitress seems exasperated and is stunned into silence as the arguing continues. Geneva tries to extract herself from the argument about being disinvited, especially when Chantelle points out that she now has to beg to attend. Demetria wants it clear that she gives a f–k about everyone else, she doesn’t give a f–k about Chantelle.
Somewhere in the world this must play well, for Demetria. I think it’s cold, ugly, and snide. “Mel” joins in telling Chantelle that her comments about Demetria are egregious and that she doesn’t know Demetria. Melyssa feels Geneva is not loyal, unlike she is, as she is a “ride or die” chick. (Really? See “Daisy” Not so much). When Chantelle tells Demetria that jealousy is an ugly thing, Demetria tells her that she’s reaching and her arms are too short. Chantelle counters by telling her that her waste it too big. Oh. Damn. Why did I bring up RHOA, earlier. Demetria claims that Chantelle has an Adam’s apple. Adam’s apple? REALLY?
Back at the house, Melyssa is cracking the whip and forcing the women to clean up. Geneva is saying good-bye to Demetria, who no longer finds the weekend fun. Demetria is good at judging others (I don’t need attention, my mother hugged me as a child) but she can’t take being judged. To make matters worse, when Geneva tries to explain that maybe she wants to spend time with Daisy before she goes, explaining the situation, Demetria faults Daisy for not talking to her. Instead of trying to smooth things out, Demetria confronts Daisy and then decides to go without any resolution. She lets them know she’ll text “Mel” to let her know that she made it home safely.
Producers, if you’re asking us to choose? I’m choosing Chantelle. Demetria can take her nasty attitude, the stick driving it, and keep going. I think Demetria has wasted her time writing self-help books. The women are solemn the following morning.
Daisy is leaving to make her chemo appointment, but not before talking to Melyssa about how she felt the night she was talking to Geneva. Melyssa claims she thinks everyone should be present and attentive when deep conversations are going on and then starts screaming about a bee, eliciting confused reactions from Daisy and Mica. Melyssa offers to be there for Daisy, from now on, though Daisy reminds her that she’s been telling her all along what she’s needed. They part in good company and Daisy, in a TH notes that illnesses help you learn who your friends are. Now she knows. Mica has been there for her. Her once good friend Melyssa, has not.
More Hamptons fallout, next week.