RECAP: Real Housewives of New York “The Cavi-Art of War” [Episode 8]

On this week’s episode of the “Real Housewives of New York,” the ladies seem a little off. Ramona is sick. Carole is becoming politically correct. And Bethenny is making an effort – sort of. Is it crazy that Sonja is the most normal? The episode begins with, Ramona meets Dorinda for lunch and talks of being so determined to meet single men that she’ll even go to a party sick. Germs and all. But Ramona’s trying, and that’s what is important. For Dorinda’s upcoming birthday, she’s invited the ladies to her home in the Berkshires. Ramona tells Dorinda she’s so excited. Remember Ramona’s last trip to the Berkshires where she ordered an air-conditioner and became so manic about her childhood that she chartered a flight out of there? Good times. Mario’s name comes up and Dorinda asks Ramona multiple questions about him. The answer to all of the questions is, “I don’t know.”

Dorinda mentions that she’s on her way to see John. This is Ramona’s cue to pick up her phone and look distracted. Ramona thinks John is “okay” but lot’s of her friends would prefer not to be seated by him at a dinner party. How’s that for a ringing endorsement.

Speaking of endorsements, Carole is running for a board position in her building of 30 residents. She’s holding a meeting with top New York City political consultants recommended by friends at ABC news. Also there to lend support is Heather, her husband Jonathan, and Ramona. Breaking news! A new person has thrown their hat into the ring at the 11^th hour. This person is considered a “board favorite” even though he doesn’t live in the building anymore. Carole’s platform for “transparency” is apparently making some people nervous.

When Carole’s campaign strategist asks if there are any negative whispers about her, turns out the answer is yes. You see, from time to time, Carole forgets her key. The other night, around three or four in the morning, Carole had to call the fire department to open the door. Not like they have real people in dangerous situations to save. Unfortunately, in the process of jimmying the lock, the firemen damaged it. Carole paid for it, though they tried to charge her extra. Lot’s of people lose their first political elections. Happens all the time.

Bethenny visits with Dr. Amador for her post Miami-trip session. She doesn’t like the tie he’s wearing because she’s never seen him in a tie. When he presses her to dig deeper about her visit with her stepfather, Bethenny bites his head off and calls it survival. She describes a scary scene as a five year-old girl watching her mother being dragged away by her stepfather. The tears flow. This is what the doc wants. For Bethenny to feel and to trust, not just to describe. We witness a tiny breakthrough.

‘Sonja in the City’ is having an event. She is on the cover of the magazine, Latino Show. According to her interns, Sonja has a very big Latin following. And she’s wearing a beautiful, red silk dress from her collection. Ramona is confused about what they are supporting Sonja for. The collection? The magazine? And points out that Sonja’s not Latin. The photos inside the magazine are gorgeous, though Heather has some criticism. First, an add is not a collection. And by the way, Mama, the fan was set too high in that one photo. Heather then asks Sonja’s team if K-Mart is the store they are selling Sonja’s “collection” to. Really, Heather? K-Mart? You know Sonja is all about affordable luxury. At least say Target.

Carole is throwing an election-results party at her apartment. Her friend is there with her adorable little boy, but Carole’s apartment is about as kid-proof as a knife factory. I’m nervous just watching this scene. Bethenny is first to arrive. Carole is serving pigs-in-a-blanket, frozen for the past two years, in her kitchen, though people say she doesn’t have a kitchen. Bethenny is impressed she admitted to using frozen food. Carole is all about transparency. Bethenny jokes about a bj under the desk, but it’s not funny, even though Carole finds it hilarious.

What is funny, is both Luann and Sonja are surprised that Carole, the woman who doesn’t get up until noon and hits on the hired help, would be interested in politics. Heather wants to get Maleficent’s head tattooed on her hip. Ramona won’t kiss and tell about her recent date. Kristen apologizes to Sonja about her lack of support. And other random stuff happens. When Heather asks Bethenny about her custody situation, and Bethenny somewhat answers, it’s clear that Heather and Bethenny will never be close. It’s like Heather is trying to be Jill Zarin – and we all know how that turned out. Good news! The results are in! Carole has won! Let’s get drunk!

After her sweeping political success, Carole joins Bethenny to go furniture shopping. Bethenny likes Carole’s eclectic style. And let’s face it, Carole’s inability to go deep ability to have fun is just what Bethenny needs. Carole is keeping things light, but Bethenny becomes teary-eyed when asking if the other ladies find her aloof. Carole confirms they do and asks if Bethenny is about to cry. Bethenny says no, but then cries when explaining why she can’t go to the Berkshires. It’s her time with her daughter. When Carole asks if Bethenny needs a hug, she is relieved when the answer is no. Instead, Carole presents Bethenny with a $2 napkin to blow her nose into. Now that’s a friendship in the making. Maybe someday they’ll hug it out. Or more.

Luann has booked a private room in the bunker of a restaurant for Dorinda’s birthday. Heather is there with her husband. Ramona brings a date who she met after complimenting his shirt. And the other ladies either couldn’t make it or weren’t invited. Dorinda and John arrive and John looks sort of handsome. The caviar/vodka girl from yester-year arrives and Heather announces she’s a caviar whore.

When John leaves to go to the bathroom (because Bravo points it out) an argument between Ramona and Luann ensues…along with an abundance of confusion. Ramona is throwing someone under the bus, and just when I think it’s Luann, it turns out to be Dorinda. Didn’t see that coming. Basically the argument was about who detests Dorinda’s boyfriend, John, the most and who shared this information first.

Dorinda is quick to tell everyone that she is 50 and no one is going to tell her who she can and can’t date. You rock, Dorinda! John enters the room and asks if he should be consulted on this subject. Luann says no. Ramona and Luann argue back and forth and by the end of the evening, I’m pretty sure Ramona’s date has sworn off complimentary shirts forever. Ramona toasts that if Dorinda’s happy, she’s happy. Luann instructs Ramona to sit her pretty self down so that she may shove her face in the caviar. Don’t you love how the rich party?!

 

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