Road Trip! We are halfway through Season 7 of the “Real Housewives of New York” and the ladies are off to Atlantic City for Ramona’s first birthday without Mario. It’s a great reason to celebrate, but the morning is off to a rocky start as Heather can be heard yelling about not being allowed into Lady Morgan’s manor. Sonja wants to finish packing without being disturbed, but Heather is making such a commotion, Sonja might as well have let them in. Instead, Kristen, Dorinda, Ramona and Heather have been banished outside, in the rain, under the scaffolding, next to the ongoing construction work.
Finally the limo arrives and the women climb in and pop the corks. Bethenny arrives and is sorry she’s late, really sorry, so sorry. Nobody cares because they are still stuck on Sonja’s not inviting them into her home.
When Sonja gets in the limo, the conversation continues over this already tiresome topic:
Heather: “Snip, snip, snip.” Bethenny: “Yack, yack, yack.” Sonja: “Blah, blah, blah.” Ramona: “I can’t, I can’t. Shut the eff up all of you!”
Thank you Ramona! Heather wants an apology since they can’t go to Atlantic City and not speak to each other. Bethenny advises Sonja on how to give the apology and Sonja gives the equivalent of “I’m sorry you didn’t think to go to Starbucks.” With time on their hands during the three-hour limo ride, Bethenny attempts to counsel Sonja on other things. For example: smokey-eye, updo, Gstaad, said three-times fast. This not-so subtle message is about how Sonja’s tendency to speak on a loop, name-drop and be pretentious. Bethenny tells Sonja to stop it.
More hilarity ensues when Bethenny asks the limo driver to pull over so she can pee on the side of the road. A flashback is shown of Bethenny peeing in a bucket while wearing her wedding dress on her wedding day. The girl can obviously pee anywhere. Ramona needs to pee too, but can’t due to stage-fright. Best decision of the night goes to Luann and Carole for finding other forms of travel to Atlantic City.
The limo delivers the ladies to the Borgata, home of the RHONJ reunions. The plan is to relax a little, drink more, and meet for dinner at 8:00. After Heather nearly floods her bathroom, Luann and Carole arrive at the suite. Heather gives a play-by-play account on Sonja’s poor etiquette about not letting them into her home. The Countess agrees that it was bad form, and is probably thinking it’s time for volume two of her book on class. Heather vows to never step into Sonja’s house again.
When the ladies meet up, they are dressed to the nines, (Dorinda’s dress is awesome!) in a good mood, and ready for fun. Kristen is wearing two different shoes – one blue, one green – because she forgot to pack the matching pairs. She may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but she’s pretty. Wait, my bad. That’s last year’s tagline. And what’s up with Carole and the bunny ears? Is she promoting herself to playboy? And guess who was 51 minutes late for dinner? Heather. Bethenny was quick to point this out to her, though Heather said she wasn’t really late for dinner. I guess everyone else was just early.
At the restaurant, Ramona orders tequila shots for everyone. Luann is telling Bethenny that Carole is suggesting that she get hair extensions. Bethenny’s says no to the extensions because short hair is so European. Carole points out that Luann is from Connecticut. Bethenny says that any chance for a dig and these ladies will take it. Excuse me, Bethenny? But aren’t you the Queen B of zingers?
Unfortunately this triggers something much bigger. When Bethenny tries to explain the dig to Sonja, Sonja talks of being in P.R. her whole life. Bethenny then takes a dig at Sonja, and Sonja calls her on it. When Bethenny tells Sonja to take a Xanax, it just feels weird when not coming from Ramona. Bethenny then inundates Sonja with compliments. She’s beautiful, sweet, fun, sexy, a good person, flirty. However, what Sonja hears is Bethenny saying that she doesn’t have a legitimate business. Sonja starts to cry.
Ramona wants to know where her tequila shot is because she wants to toast her friend Sonja for putting this terrible party together. Bethenny tells the ladies they don’t need any more tequila shots. Sonja says this has nothing to do with her drinking, this has to do with her being a P.R. and promoting people and people taking digs at her. Dorinda thinks the group has a pack mentality and Luann asks Sonja to stop crying, she’s upsetting the birthday girl.
It’s time to gamble and double-down! It probably won’t surprise you that Sonja and Ramona go off alone to a blackjack table where they win, scream and yell. These ladies know how to have a good time. Over at Bethenny’s table, she wants to lose alone, but Kristen joins her anyway, and immediately talks to the guy wearing a hat that says, Elvis Presley. No picture. Just the name. No Graceland photo either, though he did visit last year. Kristen is mesmerized.
After Ramona wins three blackjacks in a row, she asks the other ladies to meet her on the dance floor in the club. After Kristen wins $550, and hopefully will now buy a pair of matching shoes, they join Sonja and Ramona on the dance floor. And they really do have a good time. Sonja is trying to make out with Luann. Ramona is rubbing Carole’s fake boob shirt. Sonja rolls onto her back on the dance floor. Luann helps cover up Sonja’s lady parts. Things that normal girls do when they go out together.
Bethenny joins Sonja on their sofa and the whole P.R. thing comes up again. Sonja just wants to promote people because she loves people. Bethenny just wants her to shut up and eventually grabs her purse and leaves. So does pretty much everyone else. Dorinda is left to take care of Sonja. In their hotel suite, as Sonja tries to open a bottle of wine, she explains that she is an artist and artists support artists, including raising a lot of money. Dorinda shares a very smart quote, “Money speaks and wealth whispers.” This is tattoo on the ass worthy, but Sonja misses it and talks about partying all the time with John-John Kennedy and Madonna. Dorinda tells her that John-John is dead, so go to bed.
The following morning the ladies are eating breakfast in the Penthouse suite. Sonja breezes in like a breath of fresh air, not only looking good, but feeling good, too. The ladies tell Sonja they were worried about her last night. Sonja leaves and goes to Bethenny’s suite to apologize for wasting her tears on her. Bethenny uses this opportunity for a mini-intervention, though it’s not received because Sonja keeps interrupting. Bethenny tries again and tells Sonja to stop mixing the pills and booze. Sonja admits that her pharmacologist wants to examine the vitamins she’s taking because they may be having an adverse effect on her. These vitamins must be very powerful.
Bethenny recommends that Sonja talk to someone professionally because the stress is taking a toll on her. Tears are brimming as the two bond in this difficult moment, during this difficult conversation. Bethenny’s final suggestion is to stay away from relationships and to drink less. They hug it out and Sonja leaves with the belief that Bethenny is projecting onto her.
I am so lucky to combine blogging with my guilty pleasure of watching reality TV. I read all the comments and respond to most. Feel free to reach out to me. If you like fiction, I have two published novels: Three Days in Purgatory and A Reason to Run.