That’s it. Adam‘s definitely the girl in this relationship. He’s changing his name and he’s justifying the change because it will be less confusing for the kids to have the same last name. Reza‘s worried about the fact that there’s no prenup yet. And they haven’t even gotten out of the marriage license office yet.
Meanwhile, delusional Asa and MJ think taking an exercise class is going to get them in shape for Thailand. More importantly, we see why MJ is Reza‘s groom and Asa is Adam‘s bridesmaid. MJ hasn’t responded to any of Asa‘s texts about the bachelorette party and tells us how stupid all of Asa‘s ideas are — like the petting zoo.
Back to Mike and he looks like he got his clock cleaned –he still has some discoloration under his right eye. Oh. Maybe he hit his eye on a doorknob. Anyway, he’s talking to the real hunk of the show, Shervin, and finds out that they all got their wedding invitations already. ROTFLMFAO! Reza ain’t no liar, that’s for sure! He says you ain’t invited, you ain’t invited!
Asa tells us the women in her family are all very spiritual. Like her mother who lets her cats piss all over Asa‘s house. Reza buys into this crap to get crazy train air time by letting Asa “cleanse” his rehab project. She makes him lay on the ground and pours water on him. Yeah. That’ll do it. He’ll have a building permit in no time now.
P*ssy time! And we’re not just talking Reza‘s cats. Mike comes over to cry about being left out of the wedding. Reza is still claiming that he’s so upset by Mike trying to make a pass at GG and Mike not admitting it. Yet, Reza is looking forward to his dick-swinging bachelor party. Not sure what the difference is, other than more air time. We’ve had three seasons of GG admitting she’s a whore, but all of a sudden, she’s got a big problem with a drunken Mike and her drunken self nearly kissing over a year ago.
So, let’s go to Reza‘s bachelor party and see how much he respects Adam, shall we? Pre-party, MJ tells us, “I want him to be almost arrested, almost beat up, almost catch a venereal disease, exactly the kind of dirty, raunchy party he’s always dreamed of.” The party trolley — yes, trolley — arrives, and there are three men in thongs with booze awaiting Reza, MJ, and GG. Next stop, a drag bar where Reza is seen biting MJ‘s ass and slapping GG‘s fake booty. He also has GG on the floor, and he’s all over her. Kinda out-skeezed Mike on that one.
The show keeps being interrupted by Bobby and Asifa bitchin’ at each other. I tune out because their bitchin’ is less interesting than Reza and Andy‘s bitchin’. We’ve all known a Bobby and Asifa couple, and we’ve all gone to their wedding for the open bar and dancing.
The next day, Reza is hung over but makes it to Adam‘s bachelorette party at the petting zoo. He tells Asa he had his party the night before. Asa is offended she wasn’t invited, and Reza swears he had no clue and had nothing to do with her not being invited. She jumps down MJ’s throat as soon as MJ arrives. Reza acts all innocent. Luckily, the editors show us how he was included in the subterfuge of the Reza party planning being a secret and how they would then all show up at Asa‘s lame-ass fourth-grade petting zoo party and pretend that that is the real fling.
Ah, there’s nothing like being on a farm in broad daylight that says, “Party on, dude!” The only excitement comes when we find out the ever-so-loyal GG of the “Mike hit on me” fame, has again crossed a line by texting with Bobby about his fight with her friend Asifa, and she’s gets all up in GG’s grill when she’s upset by this betrayal of the girl code. It comes out that both Asifa and Bobby slept with other people last year but the gang tells them to move on. Too bad they can’t move on from Mike hitting on GG last year.
Next week, kiddies.
Wendy Owen is a freelance writer for All About The Tea.