It’s the morning after on “Southern Charm” as Kathryn wakes up with a massive hangover on her friend Jennifer’s couch. Kathryn seems to think Thomas won’t be mad that she stayed out all night, but obviously she’s still drunk. Kathryn blames campaign manager Amy for all of their problems. So much easier than taking personal responsibility. Kathryn feels they used to be a team, but now she’s just there to take care of the baby and do laundry.
Shep is taking his mom to see the new house he is building, after ironing his shirt on the bedside table. Mom is not impressed with the neighborhood, however that doesn’t stop her from already purchasing new furniture and “dorky” clothes for her little boy Shep. She tells her son that it’s time to find a spouse for the house, but Shep’s till looking for a girl that’s like good ole mom.
Landon and Cameran meet for lunch to talk about the Founder’s Ball, but mainly to gossip about Kathryn’s behavior the night before, each with differing views. Cameran says if your going to have a baby, you need to stay home. Landon thinks it’s healthier to blow off steam from time to time and go out. Each has their own baggage. Cameran was engaged at 24 but broke it off 4 ½ years later because she was too young. Landon’s father gave her the advice not to marry before 30, but instead got divorced at 30. Oopsie.
Thomas strolls into the townhouse and doesn’t seem upset with Kathryn at all. When Thomas tells her that he missed her, Kathryn doesn’t respond. She’s is a pouty mood. Kind of like a child – oh wait – she is a child. Thomas explains in the talking head interview that his main focus right now is spending money, energy and effort on the campaign. Not on a ring, engagement or wedding. That’s on the back burner.
Over at Patricia’s house, she’s getting ready for an all-male dinner party. She has the table decorated with alligators copulating and alligator place cards, finding the proper place to put people at the table. Here is one of Patricia’s golden nuggets of entertaining on the topic of seating: sit people who have the least in common next to each other. The guests arrive. Cooper, Thomas, Whitney, Craig, Shep, some guy named Tommy whose family has been in Charleston since the late 1600’s. How are you supposed to seat these guys when they’re practically carbon copies of each other?
They discuss the Founder’s Ball and the upcoming trip with Shep and Whitney to meet Delaware Craig instead of the Charleston Craig they are used to. Patricia begins to tell a story about Delaware but is rudely cut off by Craig. Shep swats him with the damask napkin and we never hear the story from Patricia. Thanks a lot Craig! Shep and Whitney are going to be so disappointed by Delaware Craig.
Thomas and Whitney begin to argue at the dinner table about that stupid commercial and the negative effect it’s had on the campaign, according to Thomas. According to Whitney it was the just right amount of humor.
Thomas says he dropped eight points in the polls after the commercial aired and calls Whitney “Lindsey Graham in drag.” Patricia thought she was keeping the drama away by not inviting women, but not true since Thomas and Whitney fight like a couple of girls.
It’s the day of the 1st Annual Founder’s Ball and Cooper is getting everything ready for the big party. Tis the season to celebrate the white, dead aristocracy that founded Charleston. Cooper says “they worship them” but realizes that sounds bad, so he corrects it to “they respect them.” Basically, Cooper has come up with a reason to dress up and drink alcohol.
Everyone is getting ready for the ball. Shep and Craig use walkie-talkies while getting ready in the same house. Cameran and the girls are getting ready together discussing the rule that you must bring an escort of the opposite gender. Very ironic since Cooper is gay, according to Cameran, but also according to his pink blazer collection.
When guests begin to arrive, Cooper is at the door with two yellow labs, one with a bow tie and one with pearls. So relieved the dogs are following the rules. Chaos would surely ensue if they didn’t. Thomas arrives early without Kathryn because he wants to walk around the room and shake everyone’s hand. Or is this payback for Kathryn staying out all night partying? Kathryn is at the townhouse, pacing in her all white gown and freshly chopped bangs, wondering where Thomas is.
After mingling and endless questions asking about Kathryn’s whereabouts, Thomas finally decides it’s time to stop punishing her go and get her. Whitney arrives with his real life partner, his mother, Patricia. Shep and Craig arrive with their dates and Whitney is impressed that Shep brought a “proper pretty girl.” Then Whitney makes a crude gesture with his finger to illustrate what Shep should do with her later. Why is it that the women have to have class, but the men don’t?
Kathryn and Thomas arrive together and it’s not long before Thomas asks her if she’s ready to leave. Kathryn has just ordered a drink and not ready to go. Landon goes over to the not-so happy couple to be their cheerleader. Go team, Rav! You can do it! Give me a D, give me an I, give me a V…wait just a minute, they’re not married. Never mind. Go team!
The following morning a very hungover Craig receives a call from the office asking if he’ll be joining them today. Craig says due to his hard “work” all night he’ll be sleeping in today. His presence is then requested at his boss’ home office. When Craig arrives, the boss waves to him from the balcony and invites him up for a glass of, you’re ass is fired, which is a rosè.
The boss tells Craig “it’s been a disaster,” that he’s “utterly frustrating” and has so much “wasted potential.” But hey, isn’t the wine great!
Tune in next week when we get to meet Whitney’s “girlfriend.”
I am so lucky to combine blogging with my guilty pleasure of watching reality TV. I read all the comments and respond to most. Feel free to reach out to me. If you like fiction, I have two published novels: Three Days in Purgatory and A Reason to Run.