Real Housewives of Atlanta Recap: Reunion Part 1 [Season 7]
The women wore white in a hotel room filled with Buddha idols, but there was still shade all over the place. Bravo set the tone with an infomercial about how much weave the “Real Housewives of Atlanta” women wear on the show. #Shady – (Do that for the RHONJ and RHOBH because they are unbeweavable too.) Andy starts with stroking NeNe’s ego about her new house, natch. At the tender age of 47+ she is a homeowner. Yay! Then we see during this season NeNe was in Zumanity and in case you forgot, Broadway. NeNe is all about her success and Bravo shows the clips of NeNe bragging that she is on Broadway while the others are at home.
Andy asks did any of the ladies reach out to congratulate her. Nene says only Phaedra saw the show, and Claudia sent an email. Claudia points out that it is hard to cheer for someone when they are constantly putting others down. NeNe says at the Mexican restaurant Claudia called her a rich b*tch. Claudia says she repeated what NeNe calls herself. Further, Claudia adds that NeNe cussed her out at the Mexican Restaurant but that was never shown. #SecretsRevealedPerhaps? NeNe doesn’t deny this but gives a snarky “you’re right and I’m wrong, ok.” Claudia fires back Hallelujah! An honest moment!
Next, Andy asks NeNe who she referencing when she tweeted about her number 1 hater of the show. Nene says that was directed towards Kandi. Kandi pipes up and says, well if I’m a hater than I am hating on the biggest hater – you NeNe. NeNe says every time Kandi talks about her she speaks negative (not negatively). Kandi adds that NeNe is now playing victim for her fans. She says she doesn’t hate NeNe at all; she hates her superior complex especially towards her costars. NeNe tries to over talk Kandi but Kandi isn’t having it. What really irritates Kandi is that her former BFF, Phaedra, would confide in NeNe and act as if NeNe was a better friend just because she didn’t send her additional text messages, although she met with her on occasions. Meanwhile Nene has called her every name in the book including “head doctor” and she embraces that.
She also spills tea on just how shady NeNe is with her former friends, i.e. forwarding private text messages previously between Cynthia and Nene and sent them to Kandi to cause conflict between Cynthia and Kandi. Kandi said she also did this with Kim. Kandi says Nene has been coming for her for years. True. NeNe has amnesia. Bravo reminds us with a clip of NeNe slamming Kandi and her mom at last year’s reunion. Kandi outs NeNe for coming between she and Phaedra. NeNe gets teary eyed and says she and Phaedra never talked about Kandi (right) but they “bunded” because both of their husbands left them and it nearly kilted the “chiren.” Kandi congratulates NeNe’s emotional performance. Shots fired!
Next, we see the trials of poor Mrs. Parks-Nida. Andy asks how she is handling everything now that Apollo is in prison. We see a much different Phaedra from last year when she was sitting on the couch calling folks whores and making fun of infertility problems with Apollo her {{huzzzband.}} Phaedra says she has not filed for divorce. She is even weepy and uses a whisper voice. Andy asks did she change her mind. Phaedra says she has to do what is best for the children (and her legal issues) and who cares what others think. The kids haven’t seen their daddy because she feels it isn’t safe. Kandi says she has visited that same prison several times in the past and saw people who brought their kids without any problems. Andy asks Phaedra did she change her locks because she is afraid of Apollo.
Phaedra doesn’t answer the question directly but says y’all saw his temper at NeNe’s P.J. party. Oh now we are acknowledging his attack on Brandon? Andy then asks point blank did Apollo ever get physical with her. With NeNe (Yoda) giving Phaedra the Jedi mind trick gaze, Phaedra responds she doesn’t feel she should discuss that with Andy. Wow! Andy reads a question from a viewer that asks why Phaedra would demonize her husband on television with that weird apostle blessing her home. Phaedra gets defensive and basically says she is paying the mortgage and can do what she wants in her own house.
Andy introduces Claudia’s first season filled with shade and comedy and we see why she was able to snatch Porsha’s peach. Claudia holds her own against the women including HBIC NeNe. Porsha also joins the couch and Andy says she has on a similar dress as Kenya. Kenya says Porsha tried to steal her look from last year’s reunion. Porsha (who secretly wishes Kenya would go bald – trust) says Kenya is wearing a fake ponytail. Kenya, whose real hair is 24-inches long, already told everyone she has a clip on pony tail for a the reunion #UDidn’tOutAnyoneBoo #SheStillHasMooreHairThanU. #PunIntended. Andy asks is it from Porsha’s Naked Hair line. Kenya says she would never wear $3.99 hair pieces. Ouch!
When asked about she and Porsha’s relationship, Claudia thought that after the Philippines they were cool, especially since (good tea coming) Porsha had gotten drunk and comfortable with Claudia that she confessed to her she almost slipped up about her real suga daddy (Read the scoop on Porsha’s married sugar daddy here) she was waiting on who is still married. Porsha tries to yell slander. Claudia counters with “well then file a lawsuit if you are about that life!” #GameOfThroneStyle. Porsha backs down but instead talks about her morals and even infers that Kordell cheated on her during the marriage. She even says she closes her legs to married men. Claudia sneezes loudly BULLSH*T!
Andy throws Nene and Kandi under the bus and says they alluded to Porsha’s African married man also. Both denied it but Bravo shows the clip of NeNe saying Porsha was getting gifts from a man out of the country. Ha! Claudia says as a former journalist she would never repeat anything that was not true. She does her research. She wishes Porsha would use whatever talents she has and stop flat backing for handbags. She feels sorry for Porsha. Porsha says she is blessed and Claudia is jealous and reckless with her mouth #OkayPorsha.
Cynthia pipes up and says Porsha is the reckless one, especially when she tried to slander Peter during her lunch with Phaedra when she said that Peter was cheating all over town. Porsha says that was a private lunch. Cynthia says, yeah with 4 million viewers watching. Porsha says she wasn’t trying to make it part of her story. Cynthia shoots back you have no storyline. (or peach). Boom!
Phaedra tries to come to Porsha’s rescue by deflecting and asking Cynthia why did she involved about Apollo and Mr. Chocolate. Cynthia tells her Apollo came to her husband with those deets. If she truly wanted to be messy should would have told all the dirt she knew about Apollo since they joined the show because word on the curb is that Apollo has been cheating on Phaedra for years. #ShutHerDown. Porsha tries to interject some waitress from Bar One who cheated with Peter but nobody cares #MuzzleHerPlease. Porsha then tries a zen moment and actually tells Cynthia that she needs to look deep inside. Cynthia comes back with yeah you can go way deep Porsha #AndThat’sWhyUNoLongerHaveAPeach.
NeNe is called out for saying the thirst is real when it comes to Claudia before she really knew her. Claudia says Nene’s wig is thirsty (Nene named her wig “the Andy”). Nene has nothing to say but a hand wave and a chile please. Claudia says “yasss acknowledge it hunty!” Claudia’s standup comedy act is doing quite well and she is using material from the show.
Bravo shows Kenya trying to put the past behind her with forgiveness towards the ladies with encouragement from her Aunt Lori. Bravo shows the redemption of Kenya – Apollo admitting he lied about EVERYTHING on camera, including LA and sexual favors. They also show many clips of Kenya apologizing to NeNe and Porsha and forgiving them both. Nene apologized to Kenya. Porsha never apologized. Andy asks Porsha will she ever apologize. Bratty Porsha says definitely no I will never apologize to her.
Porsha tries to say that spectrum (it’s scepter honey) was a very dangerous weapon when it was pointed at her and snatched it and threw it across the floor. Kenya comes back with a presidential response and says “this is the 50th year of Selma. I have read the books, seen the movie and studied art history and I cannot believe that the granddaughter of Dr. King’s right hand (Hosea Williams) who preached a platform of non violence is sitting her applauding without regret her own violent act.” Kenya adds, “This just breaks my heart.” #FixItJesus.
I even had to laugh at how Porsha was just played. Porsha comes back with Kenya doesn’t have a momma so she has no love inside of her #Tired. Porsha also adds that Kenya isn’t sincere because she came for her in Puerto Rico. Kenya says she asked her a question about sleeping with a married man because of her hypocrisy when laughing at Claudia being called a whore. Phaedra jumps in again and says that she was invited to actually walk on the bridge at Selma and that Kenya is not setting a good example for black woman #NoInvite4PorshaTheGrandaughter?
Andy asks Phaedra why she cannot forgive Kenya when Apollo said he lied. Phaedra says she cannot forgiving Kenya’s whore like behavior. This lights a fire under Kenya who then gives the read of the reunion thus far. She says If I was going to be a whore, you best believe I would be the best GD whore there is. They would have museums dedicated to me and I would own not one, but a fleet of Bentleys. I would own and claim my whore title, unlike you Phaedra! #Slayed. And that was part one.
Next week: Kandi and Phaedra have it out; Peter checks the phuck outta Greg and NeNe; Cynthia tells Phaedra her storyline (Apollo) is gone to prison; Phaedra tries to slut shame Kenya again for flirting and Kenya outs Nene’s shameless flirting with Peter for years which wakes up the mute. Stay tune.
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