This episode of the “Shahs of Sunset,” kicks of the morning after the GG’s accusations. Jessica is “mortified.” Not at Mike. She’s pissed at G.G. And they both agree that it’s a lie, so Jessica gives him the “these are not your friends” speech, which is the start of the “when we’re married, you’re not hanging out with them” gas-lighting technique. Mike‘s not going to talk to them on Jessica‘s advice.
At Reza’s, Asa is getting wine because it helps her to come up with her faux therapy crap. I’m not sure what she said in her talking head, because she’s wearing a puce colored jacket that’s so low, all I can look at are her tits, and wondering why she can’t wear a bra. Back to Reza‘s, it’s not the Avon Lady, it’s G.G. She wants to take a polygraph test. Only Reza points out how strange that is.
The only thing getting bigger than M.J. is M.J.‘s dog, who’s gonna be dragging her belly on the floor any minute. Reza‘s drinking his ubiquitous Starbucks’ iced coffee, and he’s gonna help prep Charlie for meeting M.J.‘s mother. No house, no hair, no money – no wife. Other than that, it should go fine.
The days that Charlie is to meet M.J.‘s Mom, and he’s brought flowers, which aren’t going to help. M.J. tells us she’s never brought a boy home to meet her Mom before, and boy is the operative word. Let’s remember — he’s only 30, and M.J.‘s what, like 45 going on 12? He does his best to impress by telling her he’s Jewish and owns a natural pet foods business. She’s more impressed with M.J.‘s food. Well, I think she is because she’s stuffing her mouth. Her biggest complaint so far is that he’s not tall. He is but she doesn’t think he’s so tall. Not really. “Ok, now we met. Now what?” Nothing. What a non-starter that was.
Asifa‘s finally moved back in with Bobby, so let the fight begin. First mistake, she uses the designer towels and Bobby nearly jumps out of his skin racing to stop her and tell her to use the crappy ones that are meant for the wife. Next up, she refuses to do housework. Then, she refuses to cook. She’s too busy getting pretty for him to do anything like that. She gives him a hug, though. I give it a month.
Mike rents a Rolls Royce. He picks up Jessica. In a rented Rolls Royce. Well, this is a good start because he’s wasting money already. They drive to Santa Barbara to go skydiving. Up in the air they go, and before they jump out to their possible deaths, Mike pops the question, and she’s so desperate, she says, “Yes!” Fortunately, they land safely. Unfortunately, Jessica‘s going to have to take care of Mike for the rest of her natural life. On the bright side, if they keep on skydiving, it may not be that long. For now, though, she’s crying and jumping around the airfield, and full of love and happiness and the thought of how much that big ol’ rock must have cost. Mike tells us it’s the best moment of his life ever. Well at least he’ll have a DVD of the show to remember it by.
G.G. and Asifa are at the doctor’s office because she has Rheumatoid Arthritis, and now I have a case of the guilts because when she said it earlier, I thought, “Ha! Sure she does!” Don’t get me wrong, I’m not giving her so much sympathy that I’ll give her a pass on getting her ass done, but I feel a little bad. Meanwhile, she feels a little bad that she yelled in front of Jessica that Mike tried to sleep with her. About as bad as I feel. But not so bad that she’s going to retract the statement. C’est la vie!
Wendy Owen is a freelance writer for All About The Tea.