Southern Charm Recap: “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner” [Episode 2]

We join our Carolina friends this week as Cameran moves into her new office digs—that she shares with her mother. Even though she’s married to a doctor, and we still haven’t met him yet, Cameran believes in making her own money and not depending on a man. She’s a feminist of the south, if only Cameran could connect to the internet, then she’d really be on her way.

Up next are Shep and Landon. Landon and her dog are moving to live in the hull of a boat, Miss Adventure, which is about 200 square-feet. That will never get old. But we learn more about Landon, how she married a rich guy, was living the life with a house in the hills, a staff, vacays, jewelry, cars, but she felt…wait for it…alone. (Raise your hand if you want to be alone.) But hey, it takes guts to walk away from that, so kudos to her.

Katherine stops by to visit Cameran in her new office to discuss purchasing a home for her, Thomas and the baby in downtown Charleston. She is tired of living in the boonies. Cameran wants her to consider the burbs. Katherine wants to be able to meet friends for a drink. Cameran wants Katherine to steer clear of temptation. Katherine wants excitement and opportunity. Cameran wants Katherine to have a get golden retriever and join the junior league. None of these wants will come to fruition.

When we visit Patricia, she is interviewing for a second butler, because you can never have too many. My guess is Michael is feeling overworked. There are many requirements for the job: driving, cooking, cleaning, bartending, but the final test is making the perfect gin martini. Patricia requires one every day at 5:00pm. Whitney joins his mother in the living room but won’t take off his aviator sunglasses because he has a hangover.

We jump over to Katherine trying to cook while the nanny holds the baby. Salmon with mayonnaise and asparagus. I think it’s a requirement in the south that mayonnaise be on everything. Thomas comes in to hold the baby so the nanny can do the cooking so that Katherine can set the table.

Back at martini manor, Patricia and Whitney make fun of Katherine’s hostessing skills. Patricia shares with us that just because you have lineage that dates back 200 years doesn’t mean you have class today. Everything this woman says should go on a bumper sticker. Whitney tells his mother that he’s happy to help Thomas with his campaign. A clip is shown from two weeks earlier, Thomas and Whitney are on a balcony with a perfect view of the White House. Whitney points to the WH and says to Thomas, “That’s us in the Lincoln bedroom.” Freudian slip, Whit? Time will tell. For now, Whitney’s just super excited to work on Thomas’ political campaign.

Dinner is ready and on the table, but Katherine is changing the baby’s diaper because the nanny is in the kitchen. Thomas is just sitting at the table, pontificating about his early childhood when his mother, a saint of a woman with six kids, had no problems getting a warm meal on the table every night by 5:00pm, baffled as to why Katherine can’t get the hang of it. Mmm-hmm. He did. And this guy wants to be a politician?

Craig and his brother Chris are playing lacrosse in the park. Craig doesn’t want to be in the family business and once again, defends his work ethic of never going to the law firm before two in the afternoon. It’s “pointless.” But then we learn that Craig hasn’t even taken the bar yet. He’s not a lawyer. Maybe he’s a paralegal? Not sure what he does. Study? Nope, haven’t’ seen that. Craig says he has a plan, but I’m not sure any of his friends believe that, nor do we.

A comedy of errors occur when Cameran receives a call from Katherine inviting her to a dinner party where Thomas will make a big announcement. Cameran incorrectly hears Katherine say they’ve got a big announcement to make. Hilarity somewhat ensues when the entire gang calls each other with the same assumption, that Thomas will announce their engagement.

Friends show up at JD’s restaurant for the private dinner party for Thomas’ big announcement. Katherine arrives looking very librarian with her hair in a bun and a beaded bow-tie. Cameran describes her as Ms. Doubtfire. Whitney is not there. Instead he’s at band rehearsal and crying into his tequila over Thomas’ impending announcement. Thomas has arrived at the dinner. He’s disappointed that Whitney isn’t there, but forges on. There’s a blond lady at the table named Jenn. Katherine isn’t happy and her insecurity is tighter that her bun. Thomas introduces Jenn as someone who dated his best friend, someone he can count on, and someone who spent a lot of time in his bed. Ha-ha-ha. That Thomas-he’s so funny.

That cat drags in a somewhat disheveled Whitney and it’s finally time for the big announcement. Thomas chimes his crystal wine glass and tells the gang that he has collected 17K signatures (he only needed 10K) and his name will be on the upcoming ballot. Thomas passes out the stickers and says, “You are looking at potentially the next United States Senator.” A hush falls across the table. Cameran breaks the awkward silence by asking if he thinks he can win. Bless his heart, Thomas says “yes.” Jenn declares that she’ll put a sticker on her butt and go out to the bars. Thomas approves that message.

Cameran asks quick fire questions to Thomas: What president does he compare himself to? Calvin Coolidge. What are his views on gay marriage? Give benefits to both straight and gay. What about the crisis in the middle east? War, what is it good for? Absolutely nothing. Just kidding! Thomas was actually very informed and informative. Whitney shares that he thought this was an engagement announcement. Thomas is at a loss for words. He scrambles to say that they are doing what works for them now.

Tune in next week when Whitney helps film the political ads with his gorilla approach. This is going to be a train wreck lesson in resolve.

 

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