Mob Wives Recap: Reunion Part 1 [Season 5]

Between the sparkling everything and the style of the dresses, someone should have named this show the Mob Wives: Vegas Strip. Host, Vivica A Fox, looks like she’s working hard to compete with the wives on trying to spark her own “wardrobe malfunction.” She jokes that the women have her wanting to pull her “titties” up, and does it. Yeah, she clearly wasn’t hired to bring class to the set.  The banter starts out well as Renee jokes that she has a boot on one foot because Drita pushed her down the stairs. The first clip reviewed from last season? Karen’s crazy beautiful return, the one where NatG calls Karen a rat and claims she locked up half of NYC – as she slinks away. Renee tells us that she was happy and felt safe to have someone who was loyal to her and had her back.  ::Crickets::  from Drita and Big Ang.

When the host reminds her that she was “DUST” when Karen returned, NatG claims she walked away (ran) from Karen because she is loyal to Alicia, whose father-in-law was killed (a man Karen says Alicia, never even knew, or was it that NatG never knew him?).  NatG claims 1- That Alicia is the “real” mobwife and that 2- it wasn’t true that Sammykilled him. Karen reminds her that it’s documented and public record and that John Gotti gave the order to have him whacked.  Yet, NatG is the one running around hashtagging Gotti’s name while claiming to be loyal to Alicia. Now I’m confused, so why does Alicia hate Karen enough for NatG to have loyalty to Alicia by hating Karen, too? Does she think Sammy is guilty or not? Does NatG ever hear herself?  It’s not just the sound of her voice that annoys me, it’s what comes out of her mouth that does it.  None of her stories ever add up.

The next clip is of Big Ang losing her cool over thinking Renee went after her family. They talk about how they’ve never seen Ang like that before. NatG makes it all about Big Ang standing up for her since part of the clip was about the “DNA on the dollar bill we used to snort coke with” comment. Everyone is stunned that the narcissist missed the point of the segment. From the cold responses, it doesn’t seem that NatG has been welcomed back into the fold by anyone. Drita seems the most annoyed by NatG. Renee brings up the fact that NatG was on twitter dragging out her drug use and that she was done with her when AJ confronted her with the comments that were tweeted. NatG denies she ever said anything but claims she was equally hurt by Renee – who she now claims was running around as talking about her when they were supposed to be friends. Renee denies it ever happened.  Seriously, weren’t they pals until the “delicious” comment? What is that woman talking about????

Next, Storm and London join their loves. Oh, London. I had such hopes for you. Hopes dashed. We start with clips of the Karen-Storm relationship and Storm’s apology, with Karen vowing to go Lorena Bobbitt on him if he messes around. NatG is snarking as Storm tells his story. When the women are all asked about infidelity, Renee reveals that Junior go another women pregnant and that AJ has a brother. Drita called up Junior’s girlfriend and threatened her, standing up for Renee. Next we relive the fighting betweenNatG and London and the taunts about him being a “peacemaker” and not being willing to fight for his woman. Both say things are great, but he says that things are up and down even over the course of a day.  We also learn that the attack in the social club was random. The fact that NatG used social media to put the attacker’s face out there is called a rat move – by Storm and by Drita as well. NatG calls Sammy a rat, Karen calls NatG’s brother a rat. WHOA! We find out that NatG’s brother is a well-respected detective in Philly. I wonder which of the women knew that when she joined the show. Did NatG mean to disclose that????? The others are telling her that if she’s a cop caller, own it but stop using language about being from the streets of Philly and what she’s going to do, etc.

After Storm and London have an intellectual argument over what a “rat” is, Drita looks amused by hearing Storm note that by calling crime stoppers and posting the attacker’s picture, NatG is a rat, she did the “police’s job” for them. I am such a cop caller, because I would have done the same – I just wouldn’t have joined the show and blown smoke about being mob-connected.  Vivica earns her money by getting everyone to stop yelling during “the great rat debate.” After a break, we return with Drita stating that she isn’t surprised by London calling the cops, he’s a 9 to 5 kinda’ guy and it’s what they do. She tells NatG that for someone who is always calling someone a rat she should take that word out of her vocabulary. She again deflects by calling Karen a rat and Renee stands up for her friend, reminding everyone that Karen has never ratted on anyone. London lets us know that his attacker is behind bars and will be going away for a long time for making a very bad decision.  He believes his attacker is where he belongs. I’m with London on this one.

The Drunken Monkey party comes up next. Unless Storm’s threat was edited out, he never threatened anyone, as was claimed. There is a lot of crosstalk about what happened. NatG erupts and claims people won’t allow her to talk although she’s been screaming the whole time. London says nothing happened, even though his girlfriend continues to try to convince everyone something horrific took place. Drita is the most upset that Karen’s (entire) family was attacked that night and can’t understand how someone could do something like that, she can’t get her head around.  Karen says that she must have been able to get her head around it because she was friends with someone who was capable of doing it. Ruh roh. It was only ever a matter of time with these two.  The crises is averted when NatG starts up again.  Renee tells everyone that NatG knows nothing about their lifestyle.  She responds by stating that her family is “a boss, bitch” – her detective brother can’t be happy. Drita and Ang remind Vivica that they talked to her about the attacks on Karen. She is not responsible for what her father did but NatG doesn’t listen.

The next segment is light… it’s only the best threats the wives have thrown out all season.  Two words: Group Therapy… just avoid Dr. Drew or Dr. Jeff.  The wives see the threats as signs of their creativity and note that they are only talking about what they WANT to do, nothing more.

Next they discuss the visit from Victoria Gotti. Sammy comes up again. Karen doesn’t view Gotti as her enemy. Renee mentions that she doesn’t think Gotti is the boss of anything and was shocked that she was there and didn’t want her in her business because they don’t know each other. Ang thinks Gotti speaks “very intelligent” and Renee thinks she did a good job mediating, as everyone points out that Gotti took her side. Karen is asked if she knows how Gotti feels about her and says she doesn’t, but doesn’t care. She would sit down to work things out with her and feels that Gotti is the only one who has the right to criticize her father.

After a break, we’re back to discuss the war at the (Hudson) shore, and we see flashbacks of the fight. Karen says that Natalie was too juvenile to have a conversation with and that’s why the fight started. She is accused by NatG of being jealous.  More arguing until Karen flips and talks about the tape NatG was supposed to have made on which she is using racial slurs. Instead of saying she didn’t do it, she says to Karen, “prove it,” which flips Karen out because she is the mother of a black child. If you needed a reason for your skin to crawl, NatG wins some fan poll during the segment. When the issue comes up a second time, she tells Karen she sounds like she needs counseling. When Karen confronts Ang and Drita, they say she is not their friend, they’ve washed their hands of her. NatG is back to claiming she’s been maligned and maltreated and not allowed to speak from her first day on the show. Ang looks at her like she’s grown a second head, like she doesn’t know who that woman is. I don’t know and don’t care, I’m just glad the first part of the reunion is over and I can recover before the second part airs. I’ll see you then.

 

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