Finally! We hear from our newly minted ‘Woman of the Year,’ Lisa Vanderpump, on the slap heard round the “Hills of Beverly.” After thanking the commoners for this new accolade, Lisa promptly gets straight to the subject of the slap.
“Now you know I have never insinuated that it was that hard. I had a small scratch on my upper lip from her acrylic claws, but the strength of the slap was not the issue. I think in her own distorted mind she thought this was playing, but no, it didn’t feel like that. First she pushed me…OK…But it wasn’t the actual slap. It was the violation…I haven’t had a hand laid on me since I was a child.”
Acrylic claws? Tell us how you really feel. But Lisa handled the slap not only with her trademark class, but a little humor as well.
“I was shocked, reeling. I immediately retreated to the bathroom–unfortunately it was the men’s. Didn’t realize it at the time, locked the door, and desperately tried to regroup and pull myself together as the tears flowed. I chastised myself and knew cameras and friends were outside.”
And this is where it get’s interesting. Lisa shares an encounter that occurred earlier in the day, something Bravo producers decided to leave on the cutting room floor, where it probably belonged.
“When we were shopping earlier, as you saw, which was remarkable considering the debacle the night before, BG informed me that Kyle had told her I had an affair with my trainer. I scoffed at the ridiculousness of this remark and claimed it to be untrue…Kyle wouldn’t say that, and also, just a small point, I don’t have a trainer.”
Boom. Take that Brandi! Lisa doesn’t have a trainer. Now if you would have said dog trainer, that might have held water. Lisa attempts to explain the crazy world of Brandi’s brain.
“This was a reenactment of her (Brandi’s) actions that resulted in the fiasco last year. She sees Kyle and I too close for her liking and decides to create some sort of scenario that will drive a wedge between us, whatever the cost. I processed this, and we went to dinner. Once again BG, apparently joking, states I had slept around.”
Words hurt, Brandi. Haven’t you seen the Geico commercial? But seriously, Lisa and Ken have been married for 33 years. That deserves respect. Lisa continued,
“Careless remarks are one thing, but lies can gather momentum as she knowingly stated Eileen was a home-wrecker, which was also grossly unfair. I have no idea of her history, but I have witnessed her to be nothing but kind and a lovely woman to be sure.”
So why did Brandi leave the table when it was her turn to receive the positivity? Lisa has a theory.
“I feel strongly, as I said at the table, (I know it is cliché) that if you don’t like yourself, what lurks beneath? BG couldn’t sit at that table as we had words of kindness to say about each other. She added superficial comments, which defeats the object. She knew that her actions to most of us have been despicable, she knows…Be able to look yourself in the eye and know you have done right. That will give you all the confidence you need…”
But the land mine accusation Lisa makes about Brandi just might just topple the slap. At first I thought Lisa was speaking metaphorically, but after reading it a dozen or so times, I’m don’t think she was. You be the judge. Lisa wrote,
“I have seen the self mutilation, which she struggles with, and that she often complains about, the self destruction as she digs into her face and the destruction of relationships close to her.”
Is she saying that Brandi purposely hurts herself? I hope not, but this is another indicator that being on a reality show is not the best idea for Brandi. Lisa closes her blog with a question.
“I had given BG a second chance after she tried everything to denigrate my character last season, but something this time in me just snapped. That single defining moment was when I knew and I asked myself the pertinent question, “What was the upside of this friendship?”
I am so lucky to combine blogging with my guilty pleasure of watching reality TV. I read all the comments and respond to most. Feel free to reach out to me. If you like fiction, I have two published novels: Three Days in Purgatory and A Reason to Run.