Yandy, Yandy, Yandy. When last we left, you were enabling Mendeecees. We join you again to find you enabling Mendeecees. Remember Mendeecees? The man who’s so concerned about spending so much time with his kids he has you babysitting his other kids for free while he sits in jail? And soon he’ll be back there, and you’ll be babysitting again? And you’re letting his sorry ass rail on you about the kid not being picked up from school while he’s pretending to “work” in some sorry ass “studio?” What the hell happened to your life, girlfriend? Get your sh*t together and get your career back. Go work for a legit organization again, and get away from the jailbird.
Meanwhile, the other part of Dumb and Dumber, Chrissy, is complaining once again about Chink, the married man with no intention of putting a ring on it which is obvious to everyone but Chrissy, the ol’ school ho. Dumb as two bricks this one, she’s bending Cyn‘s ear with her idiotic complaints. Then Cyn one ups her in the stupidity department by hypothesizing that Erica is using BowWow to make her jealous, when in fact we all know she was using Cyn to pretend she was a hipster bi-sexual to mess with Rich.
Meanwhile, giving everyone a run for their money in the dummy department, Peter is busy pretending he’s sad that his latest baby mama is gone and he might have to hang out with his homies, drinkin’, shootin’ pool, trawling for hoes, instead of hearing one more woman yapping in his ear about his failings. But, he reconsiders because drama means air time. He flies to Hamburg — Germany, not upstate New York — to see Amina and lay some more b.s. on her about how he’s so torn. Amina says when she comes back he better move out. Uh, like, that’ll be hard because it looks like he packed his few piddly items last time he walked out, remember? Amina‘s mother, the stereotypically-named German, Astrid, gives it to him like Max Schmelling gave it to Joe Louis! She’s throwing the upper cuts, the jabs, the left hooks — you weren’t there when she gave birth! BAM! You’re running around with your baby Mama! BAM! All the rope-a-dope in the world won’t save Peter from this Brunhilde. She should have thrown in that he ain’t no Denzel while she was at it.
Rich, Chink, and Mendeecees get together to talk like cackling hens. Rich wants the guys approval to dis Cisco and bang Diamond. Seems the council voted “no,” so to f**k with them for not supporting him, he pulls out the ugly-ass Chrissy spread in the magazine most read in the men’s room at the Port Authority. See, if your crew don’t support your plan to bang another crew member’s ex, you throw a kidney punch, and embarrass one of them in front of the others. That’s the Rich way to making friends and influencing people.
This leads to the next scene where Chink tracks down Chrissy to tell her this kind of thing is exactly why he can’t introduce her to his family — not because he’s still married and his family doesn’t approve of his cheating ass ways. Chrissy, there must be some rich old white guy in NYC who thinks you’re hot. Is Al Goldstein still alive? He’s your type. If he’s not alive, go after his son — maybe the old man left some money in the sock drawer.
Erica and Cyn — oh how tired I am of you both trying to play this pseudo-lesbian crap out till the last drop of water is squeezed from that sponge. I’ll spare you the tedium of them both pretending they care and didn’t mean to hurt each other, even though we all know the whole thing was just for show. Yuck.
Next week, kids!
Wendy Owen is a freelance writer for All About The Tea.