We jump back into “Dance Moms” this week right where we left off, in the middle of a music video shoot with social media superstar, Matty B. The moms are happy, but Abby is concerned that her star client Mack Z is getting stuck with second billing, due to her mother signing a contract that acknowledges that her daughter is only famous because of a TV show about a really mean dance teacher. Matty B’s dad pulls Melissa aside and lets her know that Mackenzie won’t be allowed to sing, and Abby interjects that his son doesn’t deserve to breathe the same air as her client. The moms all chatter that while they understand that Mackenzie’s imaginary stardom might be an issue, their girls are desperate for a shot, so why not leave them in?
Abby explains that the girls are a team, they are HERRR dancers, and if your name doesn’t start with ‘M’ what’s the darn point anyway? It is obviously making Abby CRAZY that the show might go on without Mackenzie, and she waits to see how many moms choose to pull their daughters, and trust her as a controlling and jealous manager. Melissa and Jill drink the calorie laden kool aid and agree to pull their girls, but Holly thinks that it’s crazy to lose an opportunity and behave unprofessionally. Holly’s point is obviously valid, which makes Abby twitch and look around shiftily. Nia defects and stays on the shoot, and the others are pulled, through whining objections. Abby threatens to pull all of the defectors from the competition, and the team is divided again. Nia isn’t up for Abby’s torture, but JoJo gives her a pep talk, and they decide to go forward.
Holly and Nia drive to rehearsal, and Holly wisely decides to shut up and fly under the radar to get Nia through her last week in LA without getting booted from the team. Abby explains that their disloyalty hurt, because it has been her exclusive right to treat Nia badly since she was three. Abby decides to let the video brats back on because it’s too difficult to start over, but glaringly reminds us that she will NOT forget which dancers are nothing more than dirty traitors. We are reminded of Mackenzie’s and JoJo’s ‘Lucy and Ethel’ duet, and JoJo babbles proudly that she did indeed watch an episode.
Kalani and Sarah are portraying Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding. Both duets have issues, with technique, as well as bitchy mother complications. It gets real back in the dressing room, when Tracy and Ashley launch into the history that they have with Kira, and they hit below the belt with personal accusations about her fitness as a mother. Kira loses it and yells bitch about a dozen times. We learn that Mackenzie is pulling off two group routines, because the other ‘M’ dancer has a gig with Disney.The two group dances are called Sad Clown, and Moulin Rouge, and as usual, one is labeled as more of a deliberately planned standout. The competition day has arrived, and Abby is thrilled that Maddie has been practically absent, and off working someplace better. Abby is concerned that JoJo is socially unaware, and announces that one of the new girls is going to be left behind in LA, and will not be allowed back in the city of Pittsburgh.
Tracy and Kira get into a screaming match, and an accusation involving a credit card fraud arrest is thrown out there. Evidently, fraud and reality TV stars go together like Lucy and Ethel! Holly is happy that the mama drama keeps the spotlight off her, but still can’t seem to keep her mouth shut. The women hurriedly look up Kira’s shady history on their phones, and whisper and snicker over the juicy discovery.
JoJo and Mackenzie emerge in weird Lucy and Ethel meet the walking dead costumes, and I am disappointed that kitchy 50’s dresses have been passed over for this black and white, artsy twins look. Kalani’s costume is a dead Kerrigan ringer, and even the number’s music brings us back to the Olympic drama. The duet is fun. The Lucy and Ethel zombies begin, and the classic music snafu occurs AGAIN, and the routine falls flat. JoJo messes up the ending, but the overall translation of the number doesn’t look great anyway. We are reminded of the lameness of the Moulin Rouge number, and the greatness of Maddie’s career one last time before the groups hit the stage. The clowns perform, and although the sad clowns are smiling, they are labeled as amazing. The dance just didn’t grab me.
The Moulin Rouge number is fun, but seems disjointed and choppy. Awards are doled out, and JoJo and Mackenzie get fourth, probably thanks to the music breakdown, and Kalani and Sarah don’t place. The smiling sad clown group wins fourth, and Moulin Rouge doesn’t place. The competition is determined as an epic fail for ALDC, and that the girls just can’t hang in LA. Abby wraps by announcing that Brynn, JoJo, and Kalani are coming back to Pittsburgh, and Sarah is given the ax, even though she is way more likable than loud mouth JoJo. Abby determines that their LA failure is all the mother’s fault, and reminds the group of Christy’s fate when she challenged Abby.
The ALDC is back home next week…see you there!
Becca is a Senior Editor for All About The Tea. She’s a coastal girl who loves the outdoors, and writing about the sneaky and silly side of reality TV. Her bio is short, but her snark is endless. She loves writing for the sharpest posters in the world.