“Sister Wives” begins by reminding us that the anthropology students are still tagging along with the Browns, and we relive the horror of Garrison and Gabriel’s parking lot scuffle. Gabriel is caught lying, is banned from the family poker event, and it’s treated like an epic family tragedy. The students, Antoinette and Richard convene on a bedroom floor, and after discussing the deep psychological ramifications of a kid lying to save his butt, they decide that the Browns sex life (EW!) needs to be explored, along with the understandable jealously that accompanies bed hopping around a cul de sac.
We hear of some vague toddler dental surgery that young Solomon needs that will require general anesthesia, which is causing stress for Kody and Robyn, and making me wonder what in the world could be wrong with brand new baby teeth that would require such a thing. This episode is going in every direction, like a bunch of mismatched puzzle pieces. The students sit down with Christine and her live-in mom, where Annie shares about her harrowing decision to leave polygamy. She and Christine speak about the painful divorce, and the resulting separation between the two of them, and the students ooohh and aahh as they analyze the oh so intense and insightful dialogue. Chatting with Meri comes next, where they discuss the strained relationship between she and Janelle. The pair can barely stand each other, but function pretty well as a successful TV family, and Meri informs us that the window of non-hatred had passed long ago, and a good relationship is pretty darn hopeless.
Richard and Antoinette begin to figure out that Robyn is elbowing Meri out of first place, and nail Kody for favoring his son with his soon to be only legit wife. Robyn is irritated, and responds by claiming that Sol has toddler teeth problems and likes hugs more than all the other kids. The family gathers for poker, and the students are thrilled that Kody has cut loose. I am surprised that Gabriel isn’t relieved that he dodged the bullet of hanging with Kody on ponytail night. Mariah comes home to visit, and shares her dreams of being part of a harem just like her tossed out mommy. Kody wants Mariah to take her time, and Meri wishes that she had done the same, when Kody remarks that a man needs to be sure that she marries someone that he doesn’t want to toss out for a newer model in 20 years. Christine has a hissy fit, because Kody is second guessing how they got together, and probably that her #1 wife audition was passed over for Robyn’s.
The adults decide to gather to discuss the touchy stuff, and Kody is nailed for connecting with the boys and not the girls. Kody agrees that he’s lame and doesn’t know why. The question about same sex relationships is approached, and the obvious earlier agreed upon response is spit out, while Kody keeps asserting that as long as they wait until they’re married, it’s all cool. The students agree that the most shocking thing about the Browns is that apart from his hair, Kody doesn’t make them nauseous. The dubbing of Robyn as the sex wife must be on the cutting room floor, because it is never mentioned. We watch Janelle plunk a real estate sign in front of a house, and learn that she always wants to earn an income, and that she and Meri could use massive amounts of therapy. Antoinette counsels Janelle to get off her butt and accept that old dead olive branch, and Janelle agrees to make it her New Year’s resolution, right after ‘get the heck outta here.’ The crowd eats together, and Kody believes solid friendships have been made.
Richard receives a pan of beans, and Antoinette a hideous Sister Wives Closet necklace as a farewell gifts, with Richard clearly scoring the better gift. The students meet with their professor about their time on Brown Street, and answer “OH NO!” all too quickly when asked if there’s a favorite wife. They evade the question about how Kodes doles out “affection”, Antoinette decides that she is all about the sister wifery, and Richard thinks that she should apply as Kody’s fifth. Richard bids farewell with sanctimonious, judgmental statement towards all of us who don’t agree with the Browns way of life, as a segue to the promised ‘REAL STORY’ about the divorce. That ‘real story’ had better be short, because we are in the last two minutes of the show. Meri eyes dart around shiftily and can barely blurt out that she is seeing a lawyer, and we watch while she chokes out her request to the attorney. We find out more in two weeks….plenty of time for more TLC editing magic. In the scenes for next time, the new legal couple pull out their acting chops, as we watch Kody furrow his brow, and Robyn blink like a bewildered deer, while Meri avoids eye contact as she stammers out the shocking news. PLEASE TLC! Give me something I can believe!
This show has officially crossed over into BS Town, and the Browns have thrown ‘reality’ into the community cul de sac dumpster. Anyone can look back at Meri’s Twitter feed since Kodes married Robyn in early December, and see that she is not behind this sneaky maneuver. Get ready for more manipulated nonsense in two weeks as TLC and the Browns continue to try and save a show that has jumped the shark and is sinking fast! What spin do you think is coming?