Real Housewives of Atlanta Recap: “Hello Mr. Chocolate” [Episode 14]
In this episode of “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” Apollo is pouring so get your cups ready! First, Kenya and Cynthia visit the new and improved home of Claudia. It is fierce and fabulous with a fantastic view of the city and not a red cup in sight. Claudia’s cat, Shelly, greeted the ladies like “bishes look but don’t touch.” They catch up on what happened at the job-sponsored welcome party for Porsha. Claudia tells them she showed solidarity in public towards Porsha but Porsha was nice/nasty, you know the southern way. Claudia breaks down and I clutched my pearls like “don’t waste tears over ignorance girl,” but I guess she is genuinely hurt because their behavior is reminiscent of high school with all the lies and racial slurs. She feels she only told the truth about Porsha. A dumb heaux who messes with married men for cars and handbags by any other name is still a Porsha. Darn that double standard. Claudia, suck this chit up and forget about it. Karma is a much better teacher and she doesn’t discriminate. Just wait for it.
Speaking of karma, the grits have hit the fan with Todd and Kandi. They are packing to go away because Todd scored a gig for Kandi to have a bit part in a made for television movie. I think he did this to keep her busy. Todd, with his newly cut and curled hair has informed Kandi that he will not be returning to Atlanta with her on the same flight, AFTER she inquired why he was packing so many clothes. He says he has to “work.” Kandi says he is always needing a break and she is not feeling his urges to get away from her and Atlanta. Kandi looks stressed. Todd looks relieved that he is about to party in L.A.
Uncle Ben Peter has decided to stop watching his own pot of rice, because after speaking with Apollo, another pot is boiling over and is about to explode at the Nida/Parks residence. Peter picks up Apollo so they can get their drink on and blow off some steam. Before they have a sip of anything, Apollo starts spilling tea about Phaedra. He says they have been fighting like pit bulls because Phaedra is having an affair. He went through her phone and found many sexy text messages to someone she calls Mr. Chocolate. Peter says “damn, he must be one black mutha phucka.”
Apollo says she texted this new man “sweet dreams baby,” called him her “happily ever after” asked about getting spanked by daddy and told him she is looking forward to the day when she receives her emancipation proclamation papers which will free her from the plantation (palms up thank ya Jeeezus emoji). Further, when Mr. Chocolate asked, “is this really you Phadrea” Ms. Parks sends a snapshot of herself with a big grits-eating grin. Surprise! Apollo hit the roof. He also beats Team Beast to the punch of telling folks he must be lying because he lied about Kenya, etc., by showing the RECEIPTS on national television – printouts of all the text messages. Damn! somebody has been a veddy bad puddy tat. I just wish Peter kept his eyes on the road while driving instead of trying to read line by line the text messages, but he has to get the deets to accurately report back to Cynthia which he does promptly. Apollo says he never put his paws on Phaedra but he did want to choke her out and he verbally threatened her. Stay tuned.
Peter couldn’t wait to pour another drink and tell Cynthia all the dirt at home. As he is speaking I believe Cynthia wants to burst out laughing, because I am laughing my azz off. Cynthia points out the hypocrisy of Phaedra who proclaimed Kenya was the whore of the century without any proof while, allegedly, she is cheating on her huzzzband.
At Twirl, Inc. Kenya is making tea and face timing with her BFF Brandon for ideals to add to her script. Roger Bobb hasn’t been much help so she is taking matters into her own hands. They are holding auditions the next morning, so Kenya and Brandon have a lot of work to do. Work it out gurl! Make it happen.
Speaking of work, Claudia is shown preparing for her grind. She gets up every morning near 4:00 a.m. and has panic attacks that she will be late. She has made up her mind that she will just ignore Porsha at work.
Kenya’s auditions are going well and folks are showing up for the readings. She has written a part especially for Cynthia, as a Jamaican salon owner. Yup. Cynthia shows up in full gear and makeup and actually nails the part. I guess it helps when your boo is a home grown Jamaican. Kenya reached out to several stars but they have conflicting schedules. Leon is on board. She also auditions D. Woods (formerly of P Diddy’s girl group and now Kandi’s play – A Mother’s Love) to play her older sister. There isn’t enough acting in this world to pull that off, Kenya, think again.
Claudia is meeting with her boss Rickey Smiley. He tells her she is doing a great job. She wants more input on her timing because she is still a bit nervous on his radio show (although she worked on Jamie Foxx’s radio show – The Foxx Hole for 3 years and had her own show as well on Sirius). Rickey wants to squash the beef between Claudia and Porsha. He calls Porsha into the room. Porsha isn’t thrilled with Rickey being in the middle of their spat, but she offers him gummy bears and mints. Rickey says they should form a prayer circle. After prayer, he sexually harasses them. Now, I see why his staff isn’t getting along.
Kandi returns from her trip and visits Carmen to discuss Todd’s new attitude. She complains that they are not having enough sex and they don’t communicate. She then tells Carmen she thinks he may be having an affair because after only 6 months of marriage, they should still be in the honeymoon phase. See Kandi, this is what happens when you let your mom and staff chop off your fiancée’s nuggets, place them in a blender and then laugh about it. Riley isn’t helping either. Todd is fed up and showing his azz. Kandi says if he refuses to go to counseling, then she will get a divorce. Sure Kandi. Carmen calls her out on her bullsh*t also and says she never really puts in the work behind her threats.
Phaedra is back at her home gloating to her assistant that Apollo has cracked corn and she don’t care. She is getting all the locks changed. Not so fast Phaedra. Apollo pulls up in his white BMW ranting and raving that she is trying to lock him out.
I’m confused and editing is all over the place as well. Phaedra says they spoke and saw each other at length the day before and he was now on the road. Apollo acts as if she was expecting him. He tells Phaedra to come outside the garage and talk with him. As much as Phaedra built a case on being frightened for her life and safety, she is mighty calm. She doesn’t break a sweat. She doesn’t look scared – AT ALL. I thought she would actually break out the yoga mat. Whatever she is taking, I need some stat.
She told her assistant not to call the police. Apollo blasts her about taking everything away from him, including his kids. Phaedra says she will pray for him. Cold. He grabs a power drill. Phaedra doesn’t flinch but says don’t come near me with that foolishness. Apollo asks if she is going to put his laundry away or do those clothes belong to another man. This is just ridiculous. His buddy, who probably has a warrant, first calls Phaedra (while hiding in the bushes across the street), and then comes to the house to retrieve Apollo. He doesn’t want Phaedra to call the police either because of his “situation.”
What kind of people were they hanging out with? Apollo leaves, but then yelling that Phaedra better have his things at his home when he returns from prison, 6 to 8 years later. No, the house wasn’t burned down and Phaedra’s life wasn’t threatened. I am sure she is doing a jig behind closed doors.
Next week Todd acts “unbothered” when Kandi asks him would he marry her all over again and Mr. Chocolate is discussed at the table which sets Phaedra off big time.
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