It’s a new day in LA as “Dance Moms” kicks off this week. Jill reminds us that Abby is still acting nuts and not showing up to rehearsals, but has high hopes that Abby will actually exhibit a little sanity this week. Holly kicks off her crazy by donning a new Indiana Jones hat in her talking head, foreshadowing her new adventurous spirit. She has decided to reach out to singer songwriter Aubrey O’Day to give Nia a leg up as a singer, and stick it to Abby at the same time.
They all enter the studio, and Holly is ready to blow if Abby looks at her sideways. Last week’s competition is dubbed a failure, along with Abby’s lame homeless woman impression. Abby insists that she doesn’t owe anyone an explanation, and Holly disagrees by launching into a full blown screeching rant. As God as her witness, she REFUSES to be in the room with a woman she has faithfully reported to since Nia was three. Holly flounces out, screaming at the other moms for being big chickens, and stuttering about Abby being insane. Abby responds by calling Aubrey O’Dayand warning her that Holly is a lunatic, and that she is being sneaky about seeking coaching for Nia.
Abby feels betrayed, and begins pyramid time ready to explode. JoJo is on the bottom because she’s not on the team, (why was she even on pyramid again?), and the rest of the girls are listed as eh, sorta good, who cares, nothings until Maddie is revealed on top. It’s announced that they are competing at Sheer Talent, and it’s sure to be a great chance for some repeated humiliation. Kendall and the non team member, JoJo get the solos. Abby blows and explains that it’s all about her, she wants to creatively teach dance, but that listening to these ranting moms blows. Rehearsal begins, minus Holly and Nia, and the moms think that Holly being gone is a good thing. Abby expectantly gives Nia’s spot to JoJo, and believes that Nia is making a big mistake for not running screaming from her mother. Abby reminds the moms that extra large butt kissing is a must to get ahead with her, and the women sheepishly exchange glances and agree. The moms want Nia back, but Jess is thrilled that Abby’s butt is giving JoJo and her giant bows a chance.
We jump to a recording studio sesh with Aubrey and Nia, and hear Nia belt out an auto tuned inspirational few lines of a song, which Holly describes as a flourishing career. We see glimpses of the two solos where JoJo is told to watch the movie ‘Carrie’ for inspiration, and Kendall is performing a Bollywood number. Jess thinks that Holly being gone is making it a glorious day.
The next day Nia is back, and Holly explains that taking a day off was to focus on Nia, and expects to justifiably waltz in and reclaim her spot. Abby is mercifully absent, sparing the viewers another ‘conversation’ between she and Holly. Mackenzie works with Nia to get her caught up, when we hear that JoJo has lice, and that she is getting her hair and her bows fumigated. Abby calls Gia, who fills her in on the latest developments, and Abby chooses to can Nia from the group dance, because Holly sought guidance behind her back. Holly is disappointed that yanking Nia away from her team to focus solely on herself has resulted in expected and fair consequences.
The moms sit down for a glass of wine, and Holly believes that Jess is a vulture for jumping on the opportunity for her daughter to perform instead of waiting in the corner for Team Nia to finish up and actually care about the team. Holly points her finger at Jess and calls her disgusting for stating the obvious, and storms off…apparently her new trademark move. The team arrives at the venue, and Nia and Holly are already parked backstage, marking their territory.
Holly reminds Nia that Abby is not the whole world, just a…ahem…small piece of it, as the rest of the group makes a dramatic entrance. JoJo gets bloody for her ‘Carrie’ inspired solo, and Kendall is given a pep talk, as the team gets ready to perform. Kendall has a dressing room meltdown, but comes through like a champ and performs through a music breakdown. JoJo’s dance is cool, but I think she mistakenly watched ‘The Exorcist’ instead of ‘Carrie’. The group performs and I love it.
Nia is sad that she wasn’t part of it, and the team defends her when JoJo blurts out a thoughtless comment. JoJo wins fifth, Kendall snags a second place award, and the group wins first.The moms all agree that Nia should have been in the group, and is part of the team, but won’t repeat such nonsense in front of Abby. Holly preaches us out by sermonizing that Nia gained a priceless life lesson, and Jill assures her that they’re all there for her, as long as Abby is out of the room.
A video shoot is on tap for next week…the pricey pursuit of stardom continues!
Becca is a Senior Editor for All About The Tea. She’s a coastal girl who loves the outdoors, and writing about the sneaky and silly side of reality TV. Her bio is short, but her snark is endless. She loves writing for the sharpest posters in the world.