Dance Moms Recap: “Hello Hollywood, Goodbye Abby” [Episode 5]

Dance Moms begins by Abby and the girls arriving in sunny LA, and Abby is beaming, because she is a starmaker in the star capitol of America.  She checks out the temporary studio space that she rented and is horrified to see The Rage Dance Company, a group of talented girls headed up by a terrifying blonde who looks like she could flatten Abby with one bellow.  Abby runs like a scared bunny to sulk in her car, eat candy, and wonder why in the world she came to this terrifying place.  The moms think that she’s ridiculous and don’t understand why they’re hanging in a parking lot instead of dancing.  Jess and JoJo appear to add to the chaos, and they all tromp inside to claim their space.  Jill nails Abbyas a poor planner, and a big coward about facing competition.

We size up more stiff competition, by popping into Murrieta Dance Studio, where dance coach Erin Babbs is belting out choreography to another group of talented girls. Erin has history with Abby because she previously choreographed for Cathy at Candy Apples, in a routine that was pulled at the last minute.  Erin looks forward to facing the ALDC, and thinks that Abby is over her head believing that she can hang in LA.  Back at the ALDC rehearsal, the moms learn that the studio space is a no go, but that Abby has lined up an audition for the girls the following day.  The moms think that the audition is a smokescreen to deflect from the fact thatAbby is a fraidy cat, and no dance and no teacher might present a bit of a problem. Gianna shows up the next day to give details about the audition with a casting director, and to announce that Maddie has been assigned the one solo.  Jess and JoJo are told that JoJo can only be a guest, and that her gigantic scrub brush bows aren’t welcome in LA.

The moms call Abby, who lets them know that she may have to fly home, and they respond by calling her a big chicken.  We get a glimpse of Maddie’s solo, which illustrates the plight of a street child, which should bring out her best constipated  faces as she pulls out her fierce acting prowess. We get a glimpse of Maddie’s biggest competition, Erin’s student,Talia, who is challenged to grab this chance to prove that she’s a better dancer than Maddie, and deserved to have been the one chosen to run around in a bad blonde wig in that Sia video.

It’s casting call time, and all of the girls and moms are excited for this big opportunity. The cameras cut over to a brouhaha in the parking lot, where Abby is screeching at a bunch of people about a parking spot, inviting another ‘she’s losing it’ comment from Jill. Holly challenges Abby to step up and lead, and Abby maturely responds by sniping at Nia. John Barba and Lisa Fields chat with the girls and we hear for the first time that Nia wants to be a pop star, and is excited for this chance. We see snippets of the auditions, which bring scowls and smiles from Abby, depending on where each girl sits on her pyramid of favorites. Nia nails the part, and Abby tries to throw her under the bus by blaming Holly for encouraging creativity from another room. Barba puts Abby in her place, and both of the pros support Nia. YAY NIA!

Holly confronts the nasty move after the audition and Melissa backs her up by thanking Abby for smiling during at least her girls’ big chance. JoJo is told that she is not welcome for the tenth time, and Holly calls the other moms out for not having her back.  She blasts them, accusing them  failing their daughters due to fear of Abby, and they all agree, but know that their darlings won’t get a shot if they speak up.

The ALDC shows up at Energy Dance Competition, and Jill resists the urge to yell ABBY’S A BIG FAT CHICKEN in response to the crowd hollered inquiries about her whereabouts. These LA studios are out for blood to squash the ALDC, and the moms are nervous. Abby is escorted to the dressing room looking like a hot mess, and stammers out that networking non stop doesn’t allow time to stay mentally stable. The rival coaches step in to passive aggressively welcome the team, and they are ignored. Talia performs first, and she is great, although the shown segment of choreography was kinda snoozy.  Maddie goes next,  and does amazing, and I appreciate that she is not half naked, even though she has to be covered in rags to make me happy. Abby drags backstage looking more homeless than Maddie’s character does, and Jill keeps insisting that Abby is cracking up. The other coaches show up with a delish looking fruit arrangement as a tongue in cheek offering, but are actually kind, and Abby graciously reacts by dumping it on the floor. JoJo pushes the envelope again, and Abby flips and seeks solace in her car, emotionally eating away her craziness, which explains A LOT.

Erin’s team performs and they’re good, but the number is obnoxiously sexually suggestive. The ALDC is up next and it’s a nice lyrical number, but nothing special.  Maddie wins with a perfect score, Talia doesn’t place, but Murietta Dance wins the group category with a perfect score, with the ALDC group getting second.  Holly is appalled at Abby’s absence, and makes a call to another manager, bringing a collective GASP from the other moms.

Tune in next week as the meltdown continues!

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