Celebrity Apprentice

Celebrity Apprentice Recap: “I Wish I Had a Project Manager” [Episodes 4]

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This week’s show we get to see the late, great Joan Rivers as an advisor to Trump. It’s wonderful and sad to see her. The teams gather in the showroom of the Ivanka Trump collection. The task will be to create a mobile marketing event to promote Ivanka Trump shoes, partnered with Nordstrom, for the millennial woman. Sig wants to know why all the tasks have been so feminine – he can’t find his penis. Perhaps a swordfish cut it off, Sig. Did you check there?

On Team Vortex nobody jumps up for the project manager’s position. The only woman who hasn’t been project manager is Shawn Johnson, and she doesn’t want to do it, so reluctantly Vivica A. Fox steps up for a second time. Team Infinity has an easier time selecting Kenya for the PM job.

Inside Team Infinity headquarters, Kenya suggests replicating Nordstrom’s store with a grand piano player. Leeza asks if this targets the millennial woman, suggesting it may be old school, but Kenya tunes her out. Over at Team Vortex, Geraldo is already taking over giving his ideas and stating that he’s amazed by his own creativity. Shawn – who wouldn’t volunteer for PM – suggests creating a comfy dressing room. Lorenzo suggests a barista. Each team strategizes and assigns jobs.

The Celebrity Apprentice

When part of Team Infinity arrive and see the size of the mobile truck is not large enough for what they had in mind, Kenya and Geraldo revamp. They call Kate, Sig, and Shawn who are out purchasing fabric and tell them not to purchase it. Too late. The fabric has already been measured and cut and is $500. Shawn finds this change in plans upsetting and is shutting down. Is it her moon cycle again?

Kenya comes up with a slogan: “Power Up Your Sole.” Get it. S-o-l-e not S-o-u-l. It’s a double entendre. She’s so clever! 

Over at Vivica’s mobile truck, Kate tells her that she doesn’t get the concept of drinking coffee and looking at shoes. Me either. Too bad they can’t serve wine because that makes a lot more sense. Shawn and Kate feel that Vivica is out to get them – and they would be correct. Vivica possesses a lot of frenetic energy.

Joan shows up to inspect the interactive mobile site of Team Vortex who seem to be focusing on their café. After viewing, Joan tells them they did a great job. She then visits Team Infinity. Leeza and Kenya are working well together. They offer green shots of something and foot massages to the customers. Joan says she likes what she sees, but I think the foot massages are kind of weird. Just my opinion.

The Celebrity Apprentice

Ivanka visits the sites next with the rep from Nordstrom starting with Team Infinity. Ivanka likes the slogan “Power Up Your Sole.” Kenya thought it up. Did you notice that it’s S-o-l-e and not S-o-u-l? Get it? They tell Kenya great job. Ivanka then visits Team Vortex and finds a quiet Shawn who doesn’t look pumped up about the shoes. At least Kate is able to give specific feedback on what customers are saying about the shoes. The customers are happy that animal prints are coming back. (Did they go out?)

Anyway, it’s time for the boardroom. Joan is there. Hi, Joan. Miss you! Trump tells the teams that both did well, but Ivanka liked one over the other. Kenya and Brandi compliment each other. Trump is so shocked his hair moves. Geraldo suggests sending the two to the middle east. How about a one-way ticket? There is back and forth on both sides about who did and didn’t do what. Ivanka gives her thoughts on both versions. Team Vortex’s approach felt like the shoes were an afterthought to the café and Team Infinity didn’t resonate with the target customer of the millennial. I get the feeling Ivanka really didn’t like either of them, but since she had to pick one, she chose the team that didn’t suck the most. And that was Team Infinity! Kenya takes a twirl.

The Celebrity Apprentice

When asked by Trump who should go, Sig suggests that Vivica go and Kate agrees. Ivanka says she was impressed with everyone on the team except Shawn. Shawn had no energy. Joan confirms that Vivica and Geraldo are high energy people. Vivica chooses Kate and Shawn to go back into the boardroom. When asked by Trump if she should be fired, Vivica says hell to the no, and that she only stepped up to the PM spot because no one else would. Trump says: Correct! The shoe has dropped. We know who’s not getting fired. Trump reprimands Shawn for not stepping up and says the two magic words, “You’re fired!”

The teams are now even, each has five contestants, and for the next task, they will be making a fun, viral video promoting Chock full o’ Nuts single-serve coffee. The teams will be judged on three criteria: creativity, brand messaging and entertainment value. The project manager on Team Infinity is: (finally) Leeza Gibbons! And Team Vortex: Lorenzo Lamas! This is a pretty good matchup.

The Celebrity Apprentice

Team Vortex quickly decides to use Geraldo since the brand is old (notice the double entendre) and they want to make the brand new again, so the video will first be shot in black-and-white and then turn to color. Over at Team Infinity, Leeza names Ian as the director, but Ian mistakes this for being named: dictator. His idea involves King Kong climbing on the Empire State Building. Umm, hello Ian. You only have the Go-Pro’s and four hours. Thankfully, Leeza has a better idea and wants to play up the Brandi/Kenya hate club.

The Celebrity Apprentice

At Team Vortex, Kate is getting her hair done June Clever style and it’s taking way…too…long. Vivica keeps checking in to ask how much longer, but that’s annoying. And Geraldo can’t tap into his Latin roots for the big dance finale. Over at Team Infinity, Ian is a problem because he keeps reshooting the one shot he’s in. He isn’t quite ready for his close-up. Kenya and Brandi get into a play fight (?) on the street over a taxi, and this turns into a male fantasy pillow fight.

In the editing room, Ian is stressed and his true inner asshole spirit comes out. He’s upset that it’s not professional. Hello again! It’s a viral video man, not Sharknado. #sarcasm. When Brandi suggests a certain clip because it emphasizes the product, Ian tells her to go work outside because she is disrupting his creative process. There is no I in team, Ian. But there is one in prick.

During the presentation, hands down Team Infinity’s video with Kenya and Brandi fighting is funnier than Team Vortex’s color fade video. But will the execs like a video that shows Kenya and Brandi rolling around in bed together? Side note: While making the viral video, Brandi mentions that’s she’s been in bed with other women before, just not one that she hated. For those of you who aren’t Real Housewives of Beverly Hills fans,  Brandi has admitted that this was a preference of ex-husband Eddie Cibrian who’s now Leann Rimes’ problem.

The Celebrity Apprentice

Time for the boardroom. Trump asks Kenya about filming the fight with Brandi. Kenya proclaims that she is a professional and this is what professionals do. Adding that she doesn’t take cheap shots like Brandi does. For example, Kenya has never said out loud, until now, that Brandi’s husband left her for a younger, prettier woman. Kenya tries to continue, but Trump cuts her off and tells Brandi she’s very pretty.

The feedback from the execs is that Team Vortex did a great job of highlighting their product, but the video was safe and felt like a commercial. As for Team Infinity, the execs said they took a big risk, and it paid off. Team Infinity is named the winner! Trump told Lorenzo that it wasn’t even a close call for the execs. Lorezo is shocked. Vivica thinks Kate should be fired. Personally, I think Vivica is jealous of the attention Brandi and Kenya are getting and wants Kate to be her biotch. Trump tells Lorenzo to pick the two he’ll be bringing back into the boardroom, but Lorenzo says he’s not comfortable doing that. So guess what Lorenzo, “You’re fired!”

The Celebrity Apprentice

And now for the:

Person we most want to have a drink with: Definitely Lorenzo. This was a dumb move, but his chivalrous choice was acknowledgment that the failure of the video fell squarely in his lap as project manager. Thanks Lorenzo for classing the place up and not throwing anyone under the bus.

Person we most want to throw a drink at:  I’m going to have to order a second drink to throw since I can’t decide between Ian and Kenya. Ian is lucky they won this task because otherwise he would have been my choice to go home for his rude and obnoxious tactics. And for Kenya, because of the low down, dirty shade she threw on Brandi was totally not appropriate for the boardroom, she gets the second drink. Save it for the limo ride home, girl!

 

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