Celebrity Apprentice

Celebrity Apprentice Recap: Nobody Out Thinks Donald Trump [Episode 2]

I am so lucky to combine blogging with my guilty pleasure of watching reality TV. I read all the comments and respond to most. Feel free to reach out to me. If you like fiction, I have two published novels: Three Days in Purgatory and A Reason to Run.

The Celebrity Apprentice

I don’t know what’s up with NBC’s scheduling, but for the foreseeable future, Celebrity Apprentice will run back-to-back episodes on Mondays, eliminating two contestants per night. The show began yesterday with a cast of 16 and are now down to a cast of 13. At this pace the season could be over in six weeks, and that’s either the good news or the bad news, depending on your point of view.

The first task of the night is to create a commercial for Neat focusing on their digital scanner and cloud system. Trump announces that Kenya Moore is missing due to a prior commitment and Team Infinity doesn’t seem to mind her absence. Team Vortex eagerly chooses Kevin Jonas as their project manager and reluctantly Team Infinity chooses Kate Gosselin. Kevin’s management style is to surround himself with right hand Ian Ziering and left hand Lorenzo Lamas. Everyone else is iced out, especially Geraldo, whose response is to become a blow-torch.

The Celebrity Apprentice

The women sit around the table doing nothing because Kate doesn’t want any pitches until hearing from the executives about the digital scanner. The information dump is overwhelming to Kate and now she is even more confused. Over at the men’s headquarters, Kevin at least has a concept, but when the executives show up, Geraldo takes a phone call and speaks loudly as if is the call is from someone in Antarctica. It’s overkill and rude, but Kevin can’t control him.

The women choose the slogan, “Simplify your life.” Jaime Anderson suggests a “neat-ologist” to star in the commercial. Vivica A Fox will be that star and Leeza Gibbons will direct. Poor Kate. She can’t make any decisions and keeps asking others to make them for her. Brandi panics from this strategy. Over at Team Vortex, Kevin chooses Gilbert Gottfried to star in their commercial, Ian as the producer, Lorenzo as the director, and only to get Geraldo out of his way, he will write the script. Kevin is tightly wound. Maybe he should try yoga. Geraldo is doing everything he can to get under his skin – and it’s working.

Both teams present their commercials separately to George, Don Jr. and the two executives. Teams Infinity’s commercial is fine. It didn’t make me want to run out and buy the product, but neither did Team Vortex. Kevin is convinced that the nodding heads he sees from the judges, he’s the winner. Kate is still confused and has no idea how they did and is mentally packing her bags to go back to her eight kids.

In the boardroom, mentor Don Jr. tells the women their commercial was well-liked, but their target market was limited. Mentor George tells the men that the client liked Gilbert, but they didn’t include Neat Cloud. The winner is Team Infinity! The women are stunned thrilled to leave the boardroom. After the finger pointing at Geraldo by everyone on Team Vortex, Kevin selects Ian and Geraldo back into the boardroom with him. Crucial mistake! Trump flat out tells Kevin that if he had brought Lorenzo back into the boardroom, he’d have fired him. Kevin is still insisting that it’s Geraldo who should get fired because he wrote the bad script that he, Kevin, the project manager, approved. The two words, “You’re fired!” are said to Kevin Jonas. Buh-bye!

The Celebrity Apprentice

Moving on to the second episode of the night, the task is to host a bistro tasting presentation for Nuvo food company. (Think Lean Cuisine.) Vivica A Fox decides it’s her time to shine and takes the PM spot as does Terrell Owens for the men. Vivica’s strategy is to keep the women organized. #goodluckwiththat  After talking all over each other, they choose the slogan, “Love yourself one bite at a time.” Which coincidentally is the same slogan the vampire recovery support groups use. Over at the men’s group, Gilbert recommends the slogan, “Love yourself,” however his suggestion has nothing to do with eating food.

The Celebrity Apprentice

As Team Infinity starts assigning tasks, Shawn Anderson announces she isn’t feeling well. She says that it’s the “moon cycle” that’s affecting her. Excuse me, is it the 1400’s? Please girl, come up with something else. Say you’re back is killing you from falling off the un-even parallel bars or something. Over at Team Vortex they don’t have these complications and Terrell’s strategy is coming together smoothly. The men will each present the food that best describes their personality. Geraldo will be serving the snake – lol. And everyone is writing their own script, except Gilbert. He’s more of a improve man and writing a script is difficult. He wants to wing it. The men’s slogan is “Eat lean, Live long, Luvo for a delicious life.” Terrell and Geraldo get the credit (or blame) for this.

The Celebrity Apprentice

When it comes time for the presentations, things go wrong for both teams. Team Infinity has trouble with the timing of their meals and make people wait too long for their food. Jaime, who is apparently still having moon issues, didn’t microwave the pasta soon enough. Jamie Anderson has a tray of something to bring out, but Kenya yanks it away from her. Jamie calls Kenya out for being rude and asks, “Who the hell raised you?” And if you know Kenya’s history, you know this is a touchy subject. Her mama didn’t raise her. Kudos to Kenya for not pulling a “Porsha” on Jamie.

The Celebrity Apprentice

Team Vortex’s presentation was very smooth and I thought they had it in the bag, until Gilbert did his shtick, that is. Gilbert was supposed to introduce the dessert and mention how his two kids like it. The joke: “Can you believe a woman had sex with me twice?” Now, most of us find this funny, but executives of a large company can have a weird sense of humor.

The Celebrity Apprentice

In the boardroom, Trump asks Vivica if she would like to switch Geraldo for one of her teammates. She pauses for a while, but then says she’ll switch with Moon Cycle Shawn. Trump actually blushes and announces that never before in Apprentice history has that excuse come up. Mentor Eric explains the negatives from the client for the women were execution and product detail. The negatives for the men were the slogan and Gilbert’s humor. The winner is Team Infinity! That’s two in a row for the women.

The Celebrity Apprentice

The men are pretty loyal to each other after the women leave and no one wants to blame anyone, but Terrell has to choose two people so he chooses Geraldo and Gilbert. He really has no choice. Trump asks each one of the men if they really want to be here. Terrell wants to say. Geraldo would love to stay. Gilbert will go or stay. Well guess what, Gilbert? If you don’t fight for it – You’re fired! In the limo ride home he says that it’s not that first job he’s been fired from and it won’t be the last. You’ll be missed!

And now for the:

Person we most want to have a drink with:
Terrell Owens wins this. His calm, firm leadership was impressive. He really listened and brought the group together instead of dividing them. I’m glad he didn’t get sent home, but Terrell needs to amp up his assertiveness going forward.

Person we most want to throw a drink at:
I’m going to have to give it to Leeza Gibbons. Yes, she’s a talented, hard-working woman. But she should have definitely been the PM on either of these two tasks. The contestants who ride the middle and try to stay under the radar aren’t really playing the game.

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