Book Review: “The Andy Cohen Diaries – A Deep Look at a Shallow Year”

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The title of Andy Cohen’s new book is spot on. This book will not be short-listed for the Mann Booker Prize, adapted into a Broadway musical or filmed as a large-scale Hollywood movie, but if “Read More” is one of your New Year’s resolutions and you’re looking for a light place to begin your quest, then “Andy Cohen Diaries –  A Deep Look at a Shallow Year” is the book for you.

To entice you (or repel you) to use $11 from the Amazon gift card you might have received for Christmas, we’ve developed the Top Twelve Cups of Tea to hit the highlights (and lowlights) of Andy’s diary – a book that can at best be described as easy entertainment that doesn’t require much thought or at worst as a vapid account of shameless name-dropping. By the way, the book comes with it’s own drinking game alert. Every time you read a name that you don’t recognize, take a swig!

  1. During the filming of Watch What Happens Live, Andy forgot the name of actor, Dylan McDermott, five times during the show.
  2. He rebooted “Real Housewives of New Jersey” because there was an overwhelming outcry from viewers for new women and stories, but acknowledges that when he did this there was another outcry for the previous women to come back.
  3. Andy loves pot candy. He’s never tried meth or GHB, but has tried Molly and wishes that everyone could feel “phenomenal, euphoric, wondrous, mystified, and memorable.” (If it weren’t potentially lethal.)
  4. He’s super close with Anderson Cooper, Sarah Jessica Parker, and married couple Kelly Ripa & Mark Consuelos – who apparently act like newlywed rabbits all the time.
  5. Bethenny Frankel pitched the show “Bethenny Starting Over,” but Andy pitched back the idea of her re-joining the cast of RHONY.
  6. Nene Leakes and Patti Stanger have “demanded” that they sit next to Andy when on WWHL. (Lord knows what would happen if they were ever on the show together. Maybe Nene could sit on Patti’s lap.)
  7. Andy was very close to Joan Rivers and they were weeks away from pitching a new show to the network before she died.
  8. Isaac Mizrahi proclaimed that his new most chic housewife is RHOC’s, Shannon Beador.
  9. Andy outs Kevin Spacey (House of Cards) as being gay while at dinner with NPH and suggests that he finally come out of the closet. (#shocker)
  10. Referred to Project Runway’s use of sponsors, Mary Kay and Aldo, as “low rent.” (#sourgrapes)
  11. Angelica Huston’s favorite “Real Housewives” are the ladies from Melbourne. She is also was “very sympathetic to Teresa’s plight.”
  12. Andy thinks that he rescued his new dog, Wacha (named after Cardinals pitcher Michael Wacha) but Wacha really rescued him.

The last paragraph in the book mentions a story about Andy and his friends who arrive seconds late after the FroYo store has closed. No matter how much they beg, the woman won’t let them in. An unnamed “Real Housewife of Wherever” walks over to them. She is described as a tall, fake blonde with fake boobs, in her mid-fifties, wearing a black tank that reads: Never, Never, Never. She leaves, but returns twenty minutes later with a bag of knock-off  FroYo making Andy and friends very happy.

Can you guess who this housewife was?


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