“The Real Housewives of Atlanta” begins this week with Kandi and her family having a cookout at Aunt Nora’s house. Playing cards, and eating great food keeps Kandi grounded, but the fun comes to a screeching halt when she runs into her grouchy mother. Mama Joyce is annoyed because Kandi has been gossiping about her boyfriend and his penchant for wrecking bathrooms. Kandi commiserates with her cousin, explaining that her mom is always a frowning crabby pants, even though she has a new house with sinks that are actually attached to the walls. Mama Joyce just doesn’t understand why Kandi doesn’t appreciate her honey’s snazzy demo and dash job on a house that was actually kinda lame, even when the toilets were functioning. MJ thinks that Kandi hurts the people who try to help her, and if she doesn’t shape up, she will teach her a lesson and stay in that first stinking mortgage free house. On a side note, the food looks scrumptious!
We check in at the Bailey Agency, where we meet singer, Demetria McKinney. Cynthia is in charge of hunting down a giant hunk for her new video, and Cynthia hopes that the professional relationship will pay off big. Peter offers his services, but Demetria remarks that he won’t work because he’s taken, and let’s face it, he’s only yea high. She invites them to her video release party and drops the bomb that she is the long standing, secret girlfriend of an acquaintance of Peter and Cynthia’s, her manager, Roger Bobb. They decide that the couple should celebrate their eight year anniversary at her video release party, and make it a real blowout by actually standing next to each other. Cynthia offers to invite Kenya, but Demetria is hesitant, because Kenya scored a photo with her man before she did, and people actually believed that a proclaimed single man could be dating an actual single woman.
Back at Auntie Nora’s, Kandi and her scowling mom sit down to hash out their differences. We learn that Kandi should be thankful that her bathrooms are destroyed, and that she should also cheer up, because she’s probably not going to Hell. MJ is on meds, hoping to avoid an aneurysm brought on by the stress of choosing between two mortgage free homes. Todd’s suspicious of the retold exchange, because Mama Joyce’s low voice always spells trouble. He also believes that her aneurysms are triggered by unprovoked bitchiness, and complicated by her jerky dance moves.
Kenya is reentering the acting world, and some new publicity shots of her breasts are in order. Claudia drops in to check it out, looking like she worked hard to show up photo ready herself. Kenya spills the tea that Demetria’s man was keeping her a secret on purpose, and that he has dated a wide array of Kenya’s friends. Demetria is peeved that Kenya didn’t debunk the dating rumors, and Kenya responds by wrapping a legit excuse in some snarky NeNe shade. I love Kenya’s talking heads!
Nene arrives at HSN to prepare for the push of her tent like clothing line, hoping to hit that target demographic….those curvy size 24 gals who want to pretend they are size 2. NeNe debuts her little dutch boy wig, while expressing her hopes that the massive tops will bring in enough cash to hopefully replace that straw Moe mat on her head.
Phaedra is popping in on Kandi, who is slicing bananas hoping that they will do the trick and invite a bun in her oven.
They chat about Phaedra’s and Apollo’s marriage, which is labeled as tense and moody with a law breaking edge. Kandi’s cousin Melvin enters to advise Phaedra on how to break the news to her kids that she married a repeat offender. Melvin advises her to just tell them, and take them to visit Apollo in the slammer, so they can know their dad. Melvin giggles and Kandi chokes up about Melvin’s silly reprobate phase, and he shares his plans for his future. Phaedra is grateful for the wisdom, but knows that she doesn’t want Prince or the Prez to turn out anything like him, so she just politely wipes away a single tear, and passes.
Back at HSN, NeNe is struggling to keep her eyes open long enough to bellow like a moose, and hawk her over sized ponchos. Her heart and soul are poured into these colorful tarps, and her heart is especially full when she can collect a fat check. The baggy, shoulder holed, roof covers sell like hot cakes, and the night is proclaimed a smashing success.
We jump to Kenya, who is consulting with Roger about selling herself as a possible comedic actress. She eagerly declares that she is willing to tackle the challenging role of playing a woman. Sounds lofty, but doable. Kenya fishes for info about Demetria, Roger admits that they are an on and off again couple, and Kenya poo poos it, doubting it will last.
The video release party has arrived, and the women are ready to get ratchet in a side boob exposing, albeit classy way. It’s a prestigious music industry event, and Phaedra is happy to be away from home. Kenya sashays in, reminding us that Roger is the one who had invited her, but is apparently too insensitive to even show up for their traditional photo. Kenya and Demetria meet, with Kenya noting that she barely remembered who she was five minutes later.
Demetria gets pissy about the photo, and Kenya assures her that she just wants her guy for his connections, and the women appear cool with each other.
Phaedra spoke too soon, because Apollo shows, making his dramatic countdown to prison entrance, saunters around, and begins barking for time with her. Apollo is angry, and clearly wants to embarrass his wife on camera. They have a quasi, whispering convo, with Phaedra snarking that he loves making scenes…especially at strip clubs. Apollo whines that Phaedra never lies on the couch with him, then throws his arms around her like a caveman.
Phaedra looks tortured, Apollo looks desperate, and the display is cringe worthy. I just can’t with these two!! On top of it all, playing the main event video with the actual sound proves too tough for the crack tech crew, and the whole evening is pretty much a bust. It’s been fun…but I’m heading back west…see you in Beverly!
Becca is a Senior Editor for All About The Tea. She’s a coastal girl who loves the outdoors, and writing about the sneaky and silly side of reality TV. Her bio is short, but her snark is endless. She loves writing for the sharpest posters in the world.