We waste no time jumping into drama as “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” begins right where we left off, with NeNe braying at her ex- BFF, Cynthia for relinquishing her BFF membership. I am a little in shock, because as NeNe storms out, I am thinking WOW…she is genuinely upset, and I don’t even think it’s because she passed a mirror and caught a side glimpse of her hair. The table is stunned, especially when NeNe returns teary eyed. The other women act uncharacteristically generous, and vamoose. Cynthia blames the hurt on her bitch husband, Peter, and NeNe is miffed that she didn’t just spit it out her issue in private. The other women buzz in the lobby about the unsettling discovery that NeNe actually has a functioning heart. In the end, NeNe decides that she will quit being so darn famous, and Cynthia agrees that playing second fiddle to a C-List Moose isn’t so bad, and they hug it out. This friendship seems real, and I hope that it’s really on the mend.
We switch gears and go domestic, as we watch Kandi’s autographed backside fold laundry. Todd is out of town working, so it’s time for a breast led video chat to discuss their day, and that zany Mama Joyce’s accusation that Todd’s mom, Sharon, is a prostitution whore…or is that a different franchise? Anywho, Todd wants Kandi to come to New York to connect with where he grew up and smooth things over with his mother. Kandi rolls her eyes and wearily agrees.
Phaedra is meeting with her hairdresser Derek J, because some pricey weaves are being swapped for the cheap stuff in his salon, and Derek is being accused of being the dastardly mastermind of this slick operation. Phaedra thinks it’s because he’s famous enough to wear Monolo Blahniks, and is determined to not let Apollo get in the way of her cracking the hot Weave Bandit case, so she happily agrees.
Grampie Greg is coughing up a lung at the Leakes home, and after he calms down, NeNe fills him in on the circumstances surrounding the emotional reunion with Cynthia. We then commence with some boinging back and forth between Greg and NeNe and Peter and Cynthia, discussing the evidently deadly serious ramifications of these two women resuming their friendship. Basically NeNe is uneasy about the reconciliation, because she doesn’t fully trust Cynthia. Cynthia is giddy about the make up, but Peter douses her excitement, he’s concerned his home won’t remain
moose-free peaceful now they’re back together. He accuses Cynthia of wrecking his moose-free paradise, and apparently their sex life is all but dead in the water if NeNe ever calls Cynthia again. The most glaring question remains unanswered, namely WHY Greg was allowed to wear that shirt on television.
Kandi and Todd are visiting NYC, and Kandi maintains that because Todd has lost his hood card, he shouldn’t be allowed to drag her to the Bronx. They thwart the bougie by riding the subway, and stay cheerfully positive about that glorious booty laced urine stench that so defines New York. They visit Todd’s old neighborhood, eat pizza, and buy Kandi some Bronx appropriate street wear. Kandi thinks it’s silly, but is a good sport and is always up for some Bronx thug love. Cynthia arrives in the city, and is excited for fashion week and walking in her old pal Kithe Brewster’s fashion show. She is chosen to close the show, and is excited to parade her giant Atlanta butt down the runway.
Back in Atlanta, Phaedra is popping in on Derek J to check out the scene of the crime. Phaedra determines that because she was the queen of her high school superlatives, and only loses weight, this case is in the bag. I just CAN’T with her affected and vamped up persona…she should have been voted Worst Poser, because I’m not buying it. Back in NYC, Kandi and Todd are meeting Cynthia and Peter for dinner, and Cynthia passes on eating, hoping that twelve hours without food might make her backside look a little less Atlanta, and a little more New York. They discuss Sharon’s problems with Mama Joyce, and Todd is determined to not allow the issue to be swept under the rug. Bravo cryptically shoots a close up of Todd’s wedding ringless left hand, and I assume that’s their not so subtle attempt at foreshadowing.
It’s the day of the big fashion show, and Kenya has popped into town to surprise Cynthia. Cynthia looks beautiful.
The showdown meal with Mama Sharon has arrived, and as we all know, she has since passed away, so it is sort of sad to see this mother-son scene turn into such an embarrassment. They say hello, and Sharon immediately launches into a margarita fueled rant about being done wrong by Mama Joyce. True enough, but she loses credibility when she joins MJ in the gutter, by laying hard into Kandi. Things escalate further and get ugly, first with Todd double teaming his wife into a corner, joined by Sharon throwing out threats to punch that bitch MJ in the mouth. Napkins are thrown, salt shakers are snatched, arms are waving, eyes are crazy, and the whole display is cringe worthy. Kandi lets her screech, rolls her eyes, and defends Mama Joyce as she always does. The bottom line is that neither Mama Sharon or Mama Joyce is scurrrred, and let’s hope that there is no family event coming up where margaritas are being served. I am relieved, because I was a little scurrrrred that we were on the brink of another Housewife table flip. Are we in the clear? I guess we will find out next week!
Becca is a Senior Editor for All About The Tea. She’s a coastal girl who loves the outdoors, and writing about the sneaky and silly side of reality TV. Her bio is short, but her snark is endless. She loves writing for the sharpest posters in the world.