Hard to believe a week has passed and this show still goes on. Deitrick is visiting his “sister” Michelle Williams in her trailer. Seems she’s some kind of singer still after Beyonce pulled a Diana Ross and disbanded the group. But, I digress. He’s there to discuss how the they can
exploit help — Kevin Terry, a gospel singer who was busted for a sex tape which, of course, shouldn’t be held against him because a) he didn’t know there was anything wrong with having sex outside of marriage and b) he didn’t know he accidentally turned on the video camera.
Fish Lips and Chris Isaak are discussing a) snacks and b) preaching. As in someone wants Christy to preach, which seems to be hard for her. For us, we’d just say, “no,” since we didn’t attend theology school, but she’s conflicted. Jay tells us how hard it is to be a preacher’s wife because heaven only knows, the rest of American womanhood is just living the dream.
Myesha still has sex on her mind. She ropes her friend into taking her into strip clubs to convert women who make their living on the pole, making the big bucks. Yeah. Good luck with that one. How about visiting Amsterdam next? BTW, who’s watching her kids? I never have any free time, but she seems to have tons of time.
We finally get to Kevin Terry to hear his side of the story. Let me correct that. We get to hear Deitrick tell his side of the story. Let us never forget, it’s all about Deitrick. He was sickened — just sickened — how people ran him down on twitter. People are so mean. They actually have the idea that you shouldn’t have sex on tape. The nerve of them. Of course, Deitrick understands because everyone was mean to him for that little adultery thing. This makes him want to exploit — help — Kevin even more.
Fish Lips thinks she’s not called to preach. Could be because shes not educated in Bible Studies. Could be because there are enough self-help, neo-Christians on TV already. Could be she doesn’t care and this “could open new doors for me.” Great. I suppose it could open more doors for her than say, I dunno, taking classes at Biola University, where Alistair Begg speaks once a year? Just a thought.
At the strip club, the first person Myesha and her friend Rachel meet is a the bartender who looks like she might have been a man. She has man hands, and the ever-so-faint look of an Adam’s apple. To be honest, I’m not sure. They all discuss stripping and how horrible it is. Of course, when I was 18, I joined the military and learned to be a plumber, so don’t look at me for how a woman should make a living. What do I know? (Side note: Yes, plumbers do go to strip clubs for lunch. I myself wouldn’t eat anything made at a strip club, but I did sit there with the guys. How clean do you think the kitchen is in a strip club? I hedge my bets and I don’t eat at strip clubs. Period.)
Deitrick is still milking the Kevin Terry thing, even though he had a whole commercial break to think about it. He’s just going to support Kevin and choir because nothing says support like a fellow idiot. Yeah, I said it. Deitrick persists and he tells them all the story of Moses and “lifting his arms” and then he preys, and I think he’s speaking in tongues. This must be the Halloween episode because that was scary.
Now it’s Myesha‘s turn to show up how vapid she is. We’re stuck at the “Hiding Behind the The Lipstick” event with her friend Rachel. Myesha says “…this is a new step for me in my ministry…” She has a ministry? I guess I should have a ministry, too. Seems everyone’s doing it. It’s the latest craze. Kind of like the Harlem Shake, only easier. The strippers turn up to the meeting, so Myesha is all kinds of happy! Maybe they just came for the free eats? Gotta save those tips for other things besides food. Myesha gets up to speak after Rachel, who just spoke about being forced into prostitution. Her story is just as powerful. She felt she was ugly as a child. Wow. That is powerful. It doesn’t make her appear superficial at all. It’s just so deep. Like when my mini doxie, Princess Augustina, pees on the kitchen floor. Deep.
Deitrick‘s still in D.C. because being anywhere but L.A. with those darn kids and wife is better than being home. He’s skyping with Dominique who says the most incredible thing about Kevin Terry: “Your mistakes don’t make you a bad person…” Now, you all have to excuse me for a moment while I try to digest the complexity that statement. The intellectual fire is burning too hot for me tonight!
Fish Lips and Chris Isaak go out for dinner because she’s still confused. She’s thinking about going 100% into ministry and evangelism. Darn. And here I was thinking she was going to go to school. Well, why do it the hard way when you can do it the easy way? After all, she probably read “The Secret” and stuff like that so she’s all kinds of educated and you know, like, really, really spiritual. Plus, she knows how to create a smokey eye. I’ve never been able to create a smokey eye. Mine just look more gloppy than smokey.
Back to Deitrick, and he’s there to soak up some applause. Also, he’s brought Bryant Scott of the infamous Tyscott Records — yeah, I know — to listen to Keven Terry and see if he can exploit — I mean help — him and his career. Seems we have Bryant Scott to thank for all those great Deitrick Haddon recordings. Now call me old-fashioned, but I like the kind of singing where I can understand the lyrics, like the Staple Singers, so what do I know, because Bryant tells them he’s going to “take their name back to my record company to do see what we can do…” which could be a good thing. Or, is that the way he brushes off all mediocre talents?
Thank goodness. The show is over. We won’t have to suffer through this again ’till next week. Ciao for now!
Wendy Owen is a freelance writer for All About The Tea.