It’s day 13 at Couples Therapy and it’s time for group therapy with Dr. Jenn. Today, Dr. Jenn wants everyone to dig deep into their childhoods. And by everyone, she means, only those with the most horrific or most boring will be showed to the viewers. First up is Juan Pablo. He had a pretty good childhood, until his best friend started dating his girlfriend, the girl he dumped two months earlier. He suffered extreme betrayal from this. Yawn.
Next up is Treach. He grew up living with his mother and little brother; his father wasn’t in the picture. What traumatized him the most was watching his little brother leave with his father, not understanding where his own father was. For a short time, around 12 years of age, Treach’s father reappeared. Turns out he lived nearby. During that Christmas, Treach purchased a silk tie for his dad and when he delivered it he was told by the new occupants that his father had moved – no forwarding address. Treach was raised by drug dealers who took him under their wings, hungry for a caring soul, any caring soul.
Jenna’s turn. Her mom was a showgirl and her father was a cop. Everything was perfect until her mom got sick and died when Jenna was only 4. Her dad wouldn’t let her attend the funeral and to this day Jenna had never visited her mom’s grave because her father won’t tell her where she’s buried. Harsh! She then shares a story of a violent gang rape she experienced from eight boys when she was 14. If you’ve every wondered what makes a young woman turn to a life of porn, this is it.
Nikki has had a pretty easy childhood. She excelled at everything. School. Sports. Friends. She was very popular. Everyone wanted to be her. Life comes easy for Nikki, blah, blah, blah. It’s all very vapid stuff after listening to Jenna’s story.
At dinner, Evel Dick points out that everyone is messed up and you just do the best you can. Why doesn’t my fortune cookie ever give sage advice like this? But then Nikki shares a traumatizing experience – she was once lost in a Walmart. Oh the humanity! Then, there was like this other time where she was like kicked off the cross-country team for like playing powder-puff football, and like a week later, they like asked to come back, but like she said no. Shut up, Nikki, before Jenna pokes your eyes out.
Field trip! Just in time for Halloween the couples are going to a creepy old house that has pictures of the couples on the walls. Dr. Jenn says that when you don’t let go of your childhood trauma you create your own house of horrors. This is called exposure therapy. The couples dress up in red jumpsuits, face shields, and are given bats. Jenna feels nauseous. As she smashes up a dinner table, she tells her father that she deserved his love, patience, and attention. She breaks three mirrors. Uh oh, that’s 21 years of bad luck, but we’ll give her the benefit of the doubt that she’s already had them.
Juan Pablo destroys an area decorated with hearts and roses. He is talking to his ex-girlfriend and ex-best friend for ruining his trust in other people. At least we think so. It’s hard to understand him sometimes. To Nikki this is a breakthrough. She understands that like her, Juan Pablo is like scared too. It feels like a fresh start. Gag.
Treach is ready for his turn. Dr. Mike hands Treach a silk tie. All the other couples take a few steps back. Not only is Treach smashing down his area, but then he moves on to the other areas as well. Sadly, no one will ever play that piano again. Cicely hugs him and promises to leave her pettiness behind. Treach promises to never let her go through this shit again.
The following day Cicely is reading a back issue of In Touch magazine that just happens to be lying around about Andi Dorfman after her “fantasy suite nightmare” with Juan Pablo. Then Cicely tells Evel and Stephanie she totally understands why Juan Pablo can’t say, I love you, to Nikki – it’s because Nikki’s a bitch. Way to leave the pettiness behind, Cicely! Juan Pablo and Nikki join the conversation. Turns out, Nikki and Andi are besties. This makes Juan Pablo feel disrespected. Cicely tells Nikki that if this were her friend and she said bad things about her man she’d put that bitch in her place. As per usual, Nikki gets up and storms off. But she’s great at this, because she’s great at everything.
Juan Pablo eventually follows Nikki to their room. They are arguing so loudly it drives Jenna from her cave, after she listens to the back and forth for a while. Juan Pablo tells Nikki that Cicely is allowed to have her own opinion. Nikki says that Juan Pablo never sticks up for her. Jenna stirs the shit shares with Cicely that Nikki thinks she’s extremely disrespectful. Deena feels it’s a weird love triangle thing going on with Andi. Nikki tells Juan Pablo that she doesn’t ever, never want to speak of this ever, never again. Got it Juan Pablo?!
I am so lucky to combine blogging with my guilty pleasure of watching reality TV. I read all the comments and respond to most. Feel free to reach out to me. If you like fiction, I have two published novels: Three Days in Purgatory and A Reason to Run.