If you could all open your browsers to last week’s episode so you can follow along, we’ll get started. First, a little prayer: Father, What we know not, teach us, what we have not, give us, and what we are not make us. We pray in the name of your son, Jesus. Amen
Now we should be ready for tonight’s episode! Seems Deitrick with all his fancy schmancy nanny upbringing ways has a biological father in bankrupt Detroit that he wants to visit. (Your humble correspondent has one of those two, and believe me when I tell you people, you’re always better off not seeing one of those! Oooh weee, save me baby Jesus for what is about to go down!)
Ron and Lavette whom I still want to adopt me, are having happy talk about her upcoming public speaking engagement. She will rock it, won’t she?
Clarence, whom we don’t see much of, drags his son Seth on camera to perform like one of those little dogs in the circus by showing how he can pray over letters. The kid is preternaturally mature. Which means he needs to hang out with more kids his own age. Clarence seems much more interested in having him follow in his footsteps. Anyone out there remember Marjoe Gortner? No? Google it. 😉
Deitrick and Dominique arrive in Detroit. No surprise, his step-father is a real preacher which is why Deitrick thinks he’s a real preacher. Deitrick makes it sound like all his problems – infidelity, abortion, divorce – are because of his sorry-ass biological dad. He also makes it sound like he hasn’t been in Detroit for 15 years. I dunno. Sounds like one count of denial and one count of being AWOL to me.
Back to Clarence, we find him talking to his Mom, who happens to live with him in the McMansion, and he wants her advice on how brilliant he is and ergo how brilliant he already knows Seth is, but seems to want verification from her. She confirms he’s perfect.
Lavette, Christy, and Myesha meet at some kind of indoor go-kart track – is this where they’re having the prayer breakfast? Lavette wants Myesha to do the music, and Christy to give the prayers, but Christy has to decline because she hasn’t seen Chris Isaak in so long. “Nobody knows the troubles I been through….” Oh, I see. The three ladies are there to go-kart themselves. I guess driving fancy cars can become a real bore.
In Detroit, Deitrick is the center of attention at a family dinner. The moment Mama brings up his wanting to connect wit his biological father, all hell breaks loose. His sister reads Deitrick the book on being loyal to their stepfather. But it seems that the drama of bringing his stepfather into his life is all Deitrick wants, but Deitrick’s sister goes right for the jugular and accuses Dominique of putting Deitrick up to this! Wooo!
Back from commercial, let the tears begin! Dominique starts crying because even though she claims Deitrick needs to know his biological father, from what she’s saying, it IS her idea because she wants to see what kind of crack-ass moron genes her kids inherited.
Ah, poor little Seth. Now we see the problem. He’s homeschooled. That’s why he speaks like 40-year-old preacher and can’t play basketball if he’s not a mini-Michael Jordon and has a mini-breakdown.
Cut back to Detroit, which we all know is a hell hole, so why show us? Plot line my dears, plot line. Mama shows him the run down house where they once lived and she tells him how abusive that man was. This makes Deitrick all the more determined to follow this plot line straight to the Emmys!
During the interstitial, Deitrick , the adulterer, preaches to his Moms that she didn’t do her due diligence by choosing to have kids with that man. Kinda like how Deitrick didn’t do his due diligence on not getting other women pregnant? Hmmmm. I just love it when people blame their parents for their short comings
Clarence and Priscilla, who have the most gorgeous pool I’ve ever seen, have roped Myesha into bringing her son over for a play date to try to normalize little Seth. Instead, it seems to make Myesha lean towards homeschooling little Wayne. Oh no! Creating another little preacher!
Detroit again and Deitrick is crashing the biological Dad’s family, acting the clown like nothing’s up. Then he asks about his Dad, and they start pulling out pictures of his Dad preaching, and an MP3 of him singing. Uncle notes he did the best he could with what he had. Translation: He kinda sucks. Just like Deitrick . Lot of whaling like a cheap-ass version of James Brown without the talent. Further, his Dad seems to have been a jerk to everyone. Also seems he’s dead. Yes. Dead. So why the hell are we here? Silly me thinking the point of going all the way to Detroit was to talk to him mano-a-mano. No. It was all just a) camera time and b) a way to excuse his own behavior by making sure everyone confirms his father was an asshole so he can’t help the fact that he’s been an asshole.
The big prayer breakfast is here. Myesha and Lavette are a bit nervous. Myesha gets the crow to clap and she starts to sing. Gosh darn, she’s good! And she wrote the song herself. Who knew?
Next, Lavette. She starts testifying. She tells us how her father leaving home left a little hole. But the Lord said to her, “For me to be to you what I want to be for you, you need to let it go.” She keeps testifying and people are cryin’ which means it’s all going great. To me, it just looks kinda depressing, but if they’re happy with all that crying, I guess it’s all cool. Ron is proud.
Final scene, Deitrick drags Dominique to his father’s grave site. Why? More air time. They can’t find the grave site. This seems to be a metaphor to Deitrick along the lines of how his father left him. Go figure. He might have just asked where the damn grave was! But since the world revolves around Deitrick , he preaches to us about how he was meant to carry on for his no good father and be an entertainer. Deep, no?
Now, I need to go take a shower and wash this off of me right quick!
Till next time, kids!