Utopia Recap: Utopia Anarchy [Episode 5]

Posted on Sep 20 2014 - 1:34pm by Alison


Love is in the air..or is it? Dedecker/Mike have become attached at the hip, Chris/Bri are still going on & Hex/Taylor have just begun. When Taylor remembers her name isn’t Helen. Yes, in pre-show interviews he said he’ll identify most with Hex, but when Hex asked him her name he called her Helen. We have 3 Utopian couples until one crazy morning when princess Bri spilled her breakfast all over the refrigerator and walked away leaving her boyfriend to clean it up. So after Chris cleaned it up, he went to the barn to confront Bri on her sloppiness. Bri, who has the maturity of a 15 year old, can’t stand when people confront her on stuff she’s doing. “Bris” is done right? Wrong. A day later, they agree to take the relationship slower, but they can still do the nasty in the bushes. Sluuurp slurp.

The Utopians are trying to decide what kind of government they want. They had a meeting, and decided to let everyone try their ideal government for 3 days. Hex drew number 1. Hex’s idea of a government is anarchy. So, in the spirit of anarchy, it’s time to throw more money out the window courtesy of Kristen and Aaron. A couple hundred dollars on food..no big deal. It seems like the Utopians know how to blow money quickly, and Mike is not happy. He even snaps at Bella, who just wants some organic food to eat. She says she can’t eat regular food. Bella is a wackjob.


SO, getting back to the money, Dedecker calls a business meeting to discuss the spending situation. She wants to keep the food bill under $200.00, and lower the personal allowance to $7.00 instead of $10.00. Hex wants community food to only be used for community meals. Not snacks. None of them have caught on that Aaron and Kristen, who made the food order, decided to order extra food for themselves, but shhhh the others aren’t supposed to know. Aaron blamed the extra money spent on taxes and the tequila he bought for Chris’s birthday. They’ve spent 60% of their start-up money already. 


Speaking of Chris, it’s his birthday ya’ll. He asked for a bottle of Tequila to celebrate, and a “Girlesque” show. The girls put on a pretty cute show. Dedecker reverse stripped. Can we expect any less of Dedecker who walks around naked? Bri took her bra off in a weird striptease, and Hex opened her shirt to a corset she was wearing. Chris gets a letter from his family wishing him a Happy Birthday. They made a few digs about his romance options being limited.

Red, who hasn’t contributed very much except lip service, leaves Utopia to hunt. He believes they can be self–sustaining. So, he kills a Bambi, and brings it home.  Everyone, except Bella, is excited. Bella just wanted to make sure it was dead and not suffering. Red has also showed The Utopians how to make hillbilly alcohol out of water, raisins, sugar and a condom. I must say Red has grown on me since Dave left. I think he’s showing more of a softer side. 


Let’s talk about short shorty Sunday. The guys decided to wear short shorts last Sunday, and called it short shorty Sunday. Bella sure enjoyed watching Josh to make sure his umm ding-a-ling isn’t hanging out. Only some of them participated, but it was too funny to not include in my recap.

To make more money, The Utopians decided to not only do “Utopiyoga,” but also have a boot camp run by Aaron. They again expected more people, but only got 1. So far the business ventures just aren’t paying off, and I mean that in a literal sense. Only a few of them understand going broke means starving. Rob wants to discuss selling water to their visitors, but Bella is against that. Hex, who is running things, wants to not discuss it right now because it’s a non-issue until they actually get customers. She says “let’s just go swimming.” Bella feels blown off and thinks Hex didn’t take her opinion into consideration, and voices her concerns loudly. After things calm down a bit, Hex takes responsibility and apologizes to Bella. They hug it out and everything is good.


Oh, by the way, Bri calls the vet because she thinks a chicken is dying. The vet makes an emergency visit to Utopia and it costs them $125.00. More money goes out the window!

Kristen and Aaron start gossiping about some alleged racial comments Josh has made. Josh has made some comments with a racial undertone, but I wouldn’t go as far as a racist. Josh gets word Kristen and Aaron started a rumor about him, and confronts them. Aaron starts talking about the show the guys put on and how he had to pull Josh and Mike around. Aaron actually volunteered to do that, but whatever. Josh’s joke was he was hoping a new girl comes through the door who isn’t attracted to dark guys. Later on, Josh goes back to Aaron and apologizes for making bad jokes.

Taylor and Hex have also become an item, but get a little alcohol in her, and she becomes an entirely different person. Does anyone actually know what they were arguing about? Oh the drunken fights. Hex has admitted problems with alcohol. Meanwhile, Josh watches and remembers his fight with Hex on the first night. He says it confirms the fight wasn’t all his fault.

A rough few days for this new world. More fights and drama on Tuesday. Bella the wackjob will actually go crazy over a water filter.


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About the Author

Alison is a 32 year old native of The Bay Area, California. She loves reality shows. Guess you can say she's sort of an addict, the crazier, the better! She's sarcastic, snarky, brutally honest (tell it like it is kinda girl), but she does have a soft side as well. Check Alison out on Twitter and Youtube