David Tutera’s CELEBrations Recap: Tanisha’s Divorce Party [Episode 7]

We join David as he and his team are sampling fragrances when he receives a phone from Tanisha Thomas. David has no idea who she is (so he claims) but Slomique does and she’s not having any of it. David puts Tanisha on hold and is warned by Slomique and Montre that she’s from the show Bad Girls Club and is known for popping off. David returns to the phone call and learns that Tanisha would like to have a celebration of herself. David tells her they should meet first to decide what it is she really wants.

When they meet Tanisha won’t shut up. She has a personality that is as big as she is. Tanisha just flew in from New York, wants a party that’s outdoors, but not too outdoorsy because she hates the outdoors and something else about cotton candy. Her theme is sex. Not sexy, mind you. Just sex. Tanisha was married in 2011 but it didn’t work out and she doesn’t understand how she got stuck taking care of a child she didn’t give birth to. Embarrassing flashbacks are shown of the couple on Marriage Boot Camp. Tanisha wants a divorce party!

David says, hold the phone. He doesn’t do divorce parties and doesn’t believe that divorces should be celebrated. Tanisha doesn’t understand. Speaking at 100 miles per minute, she explains that she loves the woman she is now and wants to celebrate herself. David says that if he had known this ahead of time he would have told her not to book the flight and to stay in New York. Tanisha reads David like a book. She is the client. This is about her, not him. And she wants to know what David did to mess up his own marriage because it was obviously his fault. Oh, snap! David walks out.

David goes home and tells Joey what a bad girl Tanisha is. Joey explains that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and therefore, their own party. This week’s staged subplot is that David is supposedly going to be in a sitcom, though we don’t know what sitcom. Slomique comes in with a box of cupcakes from Tanisha asking David to throw her party. Even though he thinks the cupcakes have been poisoned, he agrees to do the party to celebrate her new life, but not a divorce party. Tomāto/tomăto.

He meets Tanisha and her friends Ebony and Ivory at a dress shop (Haven’t we seen this in almost every episode?) to pick out her attire for the party. Tanisha believes that fashion should reflect who you are. The first dress is a sparkly black dress that looks like she’s going to a church banquet. Her friends and David each suggest different dresses, but Tanisha doesn’t like any of them and refuses to try them on. David promises her she will look amazing for the party. Ivory asks if David has done research on divorce parties. His eyes nearly pop out. 

They all agree the party is about Tanisha, but Slomique makes the mistake of saying that Tanisha should be thankful to her ex for helping her become the woman she is today. Now it’s Tanisha’s turn to pop out. She tells David he is obviously not over his ex and he is hired to do a job and that’s it.

After the break, David, Alissa and Slomique meet to discuss event details. They have found a venue with an outdoor patio, there will be specialty drinks with cotton candy and the color theme will be purple. Also, Slomique will take the lead with the fashion and coordinate that into sparkly purple dress, but tells David she won’t have the dress until the day of the party. Hope they’ve taken good measurements because this girl can’t wear off-the-rack.

Tanisha arrives with kisses for David. He tells Tanisha that he was hard on her. Tanisha informs David that she had a very rough childhood. David informs Tanisha that he also had a very rough childhood. Cue the violins as the two bond over youthful misfortune and their respective break-ups. Tanisha explains to David that she doesn’t want a typical event. She wants performances. She wants something people will talk about for years. But first, she wants her dress. Uh, oh. When David drops the news about the dress, Tanisha freaks, but she doesn’t run off. David brings out shirtless men that will serve as bartenders and waiters. Tanisha checks them out and gropingly approves.

It’s the day of the party and David receives a phone call from his manager that the rehearsal for the sitcom has been moved up to today. If David cannot make the rehearsal his part will be cut. Oh, no, conflict! David shows up early to the party setup and tells Slomique that she must lie if Tanisha asks where he is. Slomique shows David the dresses that have arrived, and between the two of them, they select four. Then David tells Slomique she must deliver them to Tanisha. Slomique tells David that she’s afraid of Tanisha, but nobody is really buying that. Off David goes to his rehearsal.

Tanisha arrives at the nearby hotel and starts hitting the wine. Slomique arrives to show her the dresses. Tanisha asks where David is and Slomique says he’s at the venue setting things up. Tanisha is having none of this and wants to know where David really is. Slomique confesses that he is at another appointment. Tanisha drinks more wine and hates all four dresses. She tells Slomique there will be no party tonight and storms out.

David magically appears in the lobby and calms Tanisha down. He explains that you can’t judge a dress by the hanger and asks that she try them on. Tanisha tries on the purple dress and it actually looks nice, but Tanisha says it looks like something from a nursing home. Then she tries on the long grey dress, and who can blame her for hating that, it looks like a mother-of-the-bride dress. Tanisha calls her stylist dresses. (Why didn’t she think of that before?) Back at the venue, the final details are being put together. There is a dessert station, men on stilts, a photo booth, and a DJ.

Tanisha arrives in a blue with silver sequin dress that makes her look like she’s about to go ice-skating. Ebony and Ivory dirty dance with her. A few of her Bad Girl friends are there. And Gretchen and Slade are there because they will show up for any face-time for a camera. Tanisha gives a speech, “Behind every successful woman is herself.” What? She thanks David for throwing a classy and elegant party that reflects the woman she’s become. Again, what?

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