We’re now on episode 3 of “Utopia” and the drama train keeps on chugging. Can I just say every episode is edited perfectly? Every episode starts off with the narrator guy going over what happened last episode with a sort of undetectable amount of pure sarcasm.
Josh and Bella. Oh man this relationship is a real strange one. She hated him during his trial, said he was this dangerous guy who has to go because he’s a sexual predator. Then 30-40 minutes later, she was hugging him and telling him how great he is. Then during the Dave drama, Bella felt she needed protection and Josh told her not to worry. If Dave does anything they’ll just call the police. So, he was her hero. In tonight’s episode, Bella was basically sexually harassing him and saying how hot he looks in his speedo. Is anyone else confused? Luckily for us, Josh shows zero interest in her, even joking with Rob about how awful it would be to date her.
Sidenote: Bella has a meltdown over everyone wanting a microwave. She thinks it has a lot of radiation, and she basically calls everyone stupid because they blew her off and didn’t believe anything she was saying. She is insane. Have we noticed?
So when we last left off, Dave and Red formed “Utopia State of Freedom.” Red and Dave decided to be nice to Amanda and loan her 6 bananas as long as they got the bananas back when the main Utopians get their food delivery. The next evening food arrived for the main Utopians, and instead of 6 bananas, Red/Dave got 4 small bananas. Dave was pissed off. He started by arguing with Amanda, who said she promised him 6 bananas and he’ll get 6 bananas, but walked away when Dave started getting loud. So, Hex, never one to not speak her mind, starts arguing with Dave which gets him even angrier. Dave tells Hex with her mouth, she’ll get her boyfriend beat up or killed, and brings up Hex fighting with Josh on night 1. The night Dave put Josh in a headlock. So, Dave decides it’s time to go. He tells Pastor John he’s eating his dinner, packing his stuff and he’s gone. If he stays he’ll be “sleeping with the enemy,” or he’ll end up in jail. Pastor is pretty bummed out by this news. He says he’s made a lot of progress with Dave and is sad to see him get angry and quit. Red/Pastor both try to talk to Dave and calm him down, but it’s no use. Dave is so angry, every other word has to be bleeped out.
After Dave leaves, the rest of the Utopians have a party. Ok not like a full blown, eat cake party, but everyone was dancing and enjoying each other. Aaron was doing handstands, and Dedecker was showing her belly dancing skills. Music was played by Chris and Mike. Aaron even mentions he feels kind of bad that everyone is happy Dave left. Red, however isn’t taking the news as well. He tells Hex and Josh he feels like a failure, and wishes he could’ve convinced Dave to stick around. Hex sits down with Red and gives him a much needed pep talk. Red starts opening up about his life back home, and how he has responsibilities that gets ugly at times. He had family members shoot other family members, and his life has been crazy.
All this drama and they skim over Dedecker and Mike make our possible second Utopian love connection. Interesting match. Will Mike be Dedecker’s 3rd boyfriend?
The next day, everyone is doing their daily routines, when the front gate bell rings and it’s a letter. Pastor John gets the letter from their “mail box” and gathers everyone around to read it. It was a letter from Dave apologizing for walking out because he was angry. Dave asks for a second chance and if not can he at least return to get baptized by Pastor John. Rob doesn’t want to hear it. He’s totally done with Dave’s shenanigans. Others say they feel Dave needs psychological help, and it’s too dangerous for him to return. Aaron, and Red say they want the group to give Dave a second chance. They all agree Dave can return for a short time to get baptized the next day, but he can’t stay.
So, the next day, 2 days after Dave left “Utopia” in a fit of rage, Dave returns. The other Pioneers gather and Dave starts telling them he was wrong, and he learned his lesson. After giving a speech that took what felt like forever, he asks if they’ll give him another chance. Chris tells him they all voted, they forgive him and glad he’s going to get baptized, but he can’t stay. Dave says he understands. The baptism begins. Pastor John reads a few Bible verses, and everyone gathers around the lake to watch Dave give his life to Christ.
Ok, are we supposed to believe Dave changed in 48 hours and suddenly wants to be a good boy? Sorry, but I was thinking Dave wants more TV time not Dave’s a changed man. I think Pastor did believe he wanted to change his life, and it’s admirable he wants to think that, but it’s just hard to swallow. Anyways, everyone hugged and said their goodbyes to “5th Ave Dave” and off he went into the sunset. It was an emotional few hours for the pioneers and the feeders.
I saved the best for last. The 2 new Utopians, Kristen and Rhonda. On the very first episode, the pioneers were told they would choose their 15th Utopian. Kristen and Rhonda were given 3 days to hang out and get to know the other, and at the end of the 3 days, the original pioneers would vote on who stays and who goes home. Kristen actually laid back and just did as she was told. She rarely questioned the others’ methods. Rhonda, who is more a leader than follower, took the bull by the horns and jumped in. This rubbed other people the wrong way. Bella, who claims she doesn’t micromanage, was telling Rhonda how things in the garden must be done. Rhonda just got flustered, got up and left. Nikki suggested no one wants to help in the garden because Bella micromanages. Rhonda and Kristen also got to bring things that might benefit the Pioneers. Rhonda brought spices, and utensils, and dish soap. Kristen brought some tops from the business she ran, and sold. It was very successful. So, the 3 days come to an end, and the pioneers gather in the barn to decide who will stay. After Rhonda and Kristen give their why I should stay speeches, they step out and the others start discussing, but before they decided, the episode ends. Cliffhanger. Yes folks, it will keep us watching.
Next episode should be good. Who was chosen to stay? Who hurt themselves and might have to leave? Who’s the new guy?
Alison is a 32 year old native of The Bay Area, California. She loves reality shows. Guess you can say she’s sort of an addict, the crazier, the better! She’s sarcastic, snarky, brutally honest (tell it like it is kinda girl), but she does have a soft side as well.